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Holland lowered his brows. “Come on, Ava. You’re stronger than that. You ran—it happened. But give him a chance to talk to you. Let him explain. He hasn’t—”
She looked up at him when he stopped abruptly.
He cleared his throat. “He hasn’t been the same since you left.”
The bitterness of jealousy, that green-tinged monster of desperation reached up and grabbed her by the throat. “He’s got Kyle, right? Surely he’s all better now.”
Holland stared at her as if she’d grown a third eye. “Seriously? That’s so far beneath you it’s hell-deep, Ava. I’ve never seen another man love a woman like I loved your sister except for Cap loving you. And you ran, instead of trusting him—it’s been tough on him.”
She snorted. “Maybe he should have thought about that before he used me to get closer to his target. You know what Holland? There’s one reason I’m glad Olivia isn’t here. Do you want to know why that is?”
Holland’s arms lowered and he stood straighter as if preparing for a body blow. His look said give it your best shot. His eyes were hooded against the pain he knew she was about to inflict.
“Why, minx?”
“She’ll never know you lied to her—that you used her, just as Cap used me—for information. For a mission,” she sneered.
He absorbed the blow without blinking an eye. Ava immediately regretted her words. She may doubt Cap had ever loved her, but the man before her had worshipped Olivia. Her sensitive, loving sister had wrapped Carter Holland around her finger, and she hadn’t even had to try.
But they’d betrayed Ava and Olivia, and the pain of that lay among them like the bones of a rotting corpse. It would bleach in the sun eventually and then turn to dust. Between now and then, there was nothing but pain to be felt and remembered.
Still, she regretted her words.
“I know you might believe that. And I also know you’re still angry. I don’t have Olivia here to apologize to—to hold onto as she rages at me for my betrayal. And I wish I did. You have Cap, Ava. Let him make amends. Listen to him.”
Then Holland kissed her on the top of the head and walked out.
Ava allowed her head to fall back. Tears prickled her eyes. There was a scratching at the door and she opened it. Caesar walked in and hopped on the bed, lowering himself and laying down with his head on the edge. It seemed he had a look of reproach in his eyes, as if he’d heard what she said to Holland.
“Don’t start on me,” she signed to the dog.
He huffed and then closed his eyes. His belly must be full. Traitor, she thought. But at the thought of food her stomach growled and she glanced at the tray Holland had brought her. She brought it over to the bed and set it down.
“You want some?” she asked Caesar.
He ignored her.
“Seriously? He’s been gone two years. He was going to turn me over to his commander. I might have never seen you again,” she complained to her faithful pit.
He snored.
Ava dug into the food, eating the steak, potatoes, salad and chocolate cake so fast she was glad there wasn’t anyone to see her inhale the food. Her mother would have hemorrhaged at her unladylike behavior.
She kept the knife but put the tray back on the dresser, determined to take it out in the morning. She couldn’t handle another run-in with Cap tonight. She was raw. And scared.
She locked the door, placed the chair that sat at the tiny desk in the corner under the knob, and wiggled out of her jeans. She headed to the bathroom, brushed her teeth and hair, and sat on the bed to remove the ear buds. She noted the silence in room and pulled out the tiny, ingenious mechanisms before placing them in the case and flipping it off. The silence she had then was greater than anything she’d known. To have the sound of silence taken over by absolute lack of sound was startling.
But as with the loss of her sister, she refused to mourn the loss of something she could never fully have back. There were limitations with the ear buds. They had to be charged. Her ears may also not respond positively to the stimuli for long and that’s why she hadn’t used them except for sparingly.
But to hear Cap’s voice? It had been worth it tonight.
Fatigue pulled at her mind then. She’d run for so long and been so afraid. To rest in a house where she was safe amidst soldiers? It was priceless. She snuggled into the bed. It was cold so the down duvet was welcome over her body.
She had slept nude with Cap. And because he’d been so hot-natured and gave off heat like a damn furnace, she more often than not woke up coverless.
It was her last thought before sleep claimed her in a comforting tide of black.
Cap shook his head and smiled. He’d smiled more in the last four hours than he had in two years. The fear that had been his constant companion—fear he wouldn’t find her before the Russians and Chinese—eased up somewhat. Oh, they were still out there, hunting for her, but she was here, within reach.
