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I tried to block him, but being pint sized, he slipped right under my arm and flung the door open. He sailed through it and ran off.
“Scottie, what the hell? Come back!”
I glanced around for something to put on. The jeans I’d worn last night lay folded neatly on a chair. I put them on as quickly as I could and ran after him. Doug stood in the hall, looking confused.
“Where’d he go?” I asked.
He pointed at the door. “Who the fuck was that?”
Ignoring Doug, I flung the door open. Son of a bitch, the tiles were cold. I took the stairs, but a mother and her brood of kids going downstairs made it difficult to pass them. By the time I reached the lobby, Scottie was already gone.
Dammit.
He drove like a maniac when he was unsettled. He damned well better be okay.
I groaned and trudged back up the stairs with a grimace. I dared not to think too much about what filth was on the floor. After a shower and something to eat, I would grab my bike and go see Scottie. Something unexpected that wasn’t supposed to was happening between us. I might be heading for trouble, but I couldn’t get the look of pleasure on Scottie’s face as he was coming off my mind. I wanted to own that look, for it to be all about me.
Doug was still standing in the hall looking dazed. “Who the hell was that?” he repeated. “Did the chick you have in there morph or something because he’s pretty, but he’s a HE!”
“I know what he is.”
“What the hell happened? Did you get drunk? I could see you mistaking him for a girl if you’re drunk, but—”
“I didn’t mistake him for a girl, Doug. Is this going to be a problem?”
“Nope.” He shook his head vigorously. “No problem here. Just surprised the hell out of me is all. Didn’t know you swung that way. I guess prison does change you.”
“I need to take a shower.”
I didn’t need to explain to him this had nothing to do with prison. And everything to do with the boy who’d kept solitude at bay with every letter he’d sent me while I was in prison.
8
SCOTTIE
Idrove around in a daze, going past the house three times before I finally pulled into the driveway. Letting my head fall forward onto the steering wheel, I jerked when the horn blasted. Already skittish from what I’d just done with Griff watching me, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest at the unexpected sound.
“Jesus.” I placed a hand over my heart and breathed in deeply. It didn’t work. The driving around before coming home hadn’t worked either.
How could you, Scottie?
I covered my face with my hands and screamed. Seeing Griff again was out of the question. Maybe this was the incentive I needed to move to my own apartment. It’d been over a year now since Jay let me stay with him. My ex no longer bothered me, so I had no reason to live here and all the motivation to go.
If I saw Griff again, I would die. Combust and go straight to hell for what I did this morning.
My stomach flipped as an image popped into my head of the way Griff had watched me get off. How could he just lie there and stare? If he’d taken out his stuff and stroked himself too, I wouldn’t have felt so bad, but I’d acted all horny with no self-control at all around the man. While he watched.
Writing him letters was one thing. Exposing myself like that before his watchful eyes… insanity!
Breathe.
I inhaled deeply and let out the breath slowly. As I practiced the rhythmic breathing exercise I’d learned from my therapist, my racing heartbeat slowed down. My legs no longer felt like they would collapse beneath me when I got out of the car. Like nothing was out of the ordinary, I unlocked the front door of the house and entered.
Jay loomed in the hallway, his arms crossed. I held my breath. Was he still mad about last night? His face looked red. He was mad. I cringed. What if he found out what I had done and with whom?
He won’t know. Don’t look so suspicious.
“Just getting in?” He raised an eyebrow.
