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“All right. I’ll let you go, but you should calm down. People are staring.”
I blinked. We were once more around other people. Could they see what I’d done? Did they think I was worthless trash too because of what I liked and what I’d allowed to happen to me, even when I hadn’t liked it?
“Listen, I can take you home,” Griff said. “Is that what you want?”
“Yes, please.”
“Okay. Can I take your hand?”
He asked. Unlike David, Griff asked. I clutched my hands to my chest, not strong enough to give him my hand yet, so I shook my head. And braced myself for the falling out.
“That’s all right. Let’s go.”
We walked side by side, but he left enough room between us. I was dreading riding behind him again and having to touch him.
“Griff,” I said softly.
“Yes?”
“Can I take an Uber home? I don’t think I should drive.”
“I can take you.”
“Jay.”
“Okay. Let me order you one.”
He placed the order, and we walked over to his motorcycle to wait for it. Silence stretched between us. I stared ahead, fixated on one malfunctioning light that didn’t twinkle like the others. It was broken just like me. How laughable to think I could do this.
Respect?
How could I ask Griff to respect me after what we had done when I didn’t even respect myself and what I enjoyed? Just a few words from David and I was ready to burrow back into my hidey-hole and pretend men and my needs didn’t exist.
“You should have let me punch him in the fucking mouth,” Griff grumbled.
“I don’t like violence.” I wrapped my arms around myself.
“With some people, it’s the only way to get through to them.”
“I don’t want you getting in trouble because of me, Griff. If you go back to prison, you won’t reconcile with Jay, and that’s the important thing here.”
“You’re important to me too, Scottie.”
Lubdub. Lubdub.
Could he hear my pounding heart? My mouth was too dry. I had no response. Hanging my head, I dug my fingernails into the fleshy part of my palms to stem the burning tears.
An oncoming car slowed down and stopped next to us. The driver rolled down his window. “Scott?”
“That’s me,” I said.
“Ready when you are.”
I nodded and turned to Griff. “Thanks for this evening. I’ll come by to pick up my car tomorrow.”
“Give me your keys, and I’ll drop it off.”
“That’s too much trouble.”
