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“You’ve never mentioned your parents.” I released his nipple so he could concentrate.
“Ooh, them.” He pinched the material of my jeans between his fingers and rubbed. “My mom died two years ago, but even when she was alive, I was never close to her and my stepfather.”
“Why?”
“My mother didn’t really want a child when she had me. She actually told me that. It was taboo to get an abortion, and that was the only reason I was born. She blamed me for being the reason my father walked out on their relationship. He didn’t want to be a father.”
“That’s a fucked up thing to say.”
“Imagine hearing it as a child, but she was only telling the truth.”
“That’s a truth she should have carried to her grave if she felt that way. No need to tell a child that.”
“They weren’t necessarily mean to me, but my stepdad didn’t care for me. Mostly, I grew up not to be seen or heard. I became very good at staying out of their way so they could pretend they didn’t have a child. Thankfully, they paid for everything I needed: food, clothes, and so on. They just didn’t give me any affection. As soon as I graduated high school, they told me I had to leave, and gave me a sum of money to get started on my own.”
“When was the last time you spoke to your stepfather?”
“A year and a half ago.”
“That’s a long time.”
“I’m used to it. Recently I’ve thought about searching for my biological father, but I’m still deciding if it’s a good idea.”
No wonder he was such close friends with Jay. Each other was all they had. Well, he had me now.
The movie resumed, and we fell silent. If he was disappointed in the lack of moves I’d put on him during the commercials, he didn’t show it. We chatted while watching. He asked me about my life before I went to prison.
“It wasn’t a pretty one,” I replied. “I fell in with the wrong crowd early since I basically grew up on the streets. By thirteen, I was a member of a gang. When I was just nineteen, I’d knocked up Jay’s mother and was doing everything illegal you can think of.”
“Can you tell me what happened the night you killed that man? It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”
“It was stupid. I was drunk and high as a fucking kite when we got into an argument. I don’t even remember what we were fighting about. Just that he threw a punch. I lost my temper and before I knew it, he was not moving.”
Scottie kneaded my thigh with the heel of his hand. “Do you…regret it?”
“Yes. It changed my whole life and his family’s. It’s something you never forget—the kind of guilt I have to live with forever.”
“But you’re doing it.” Scottie turned, laid on me, and wrapped his arms around my neck. “Just stay out of trouble. I don’t want you to wind up back in prison.”
“You’d miss your fuck buddy?” I teased to lighten the mood.
He traced the contour of my nose with his finger. “You’re more than that to me, Griff. I like you a lot. I probably shouldn’t, but I do. You’re warm and protective. You let me be me, and it’s not awkward being with you at all. Most times.”
I ran my hands down his back. “I like you too, Scottie.”
Our confessions should seem juvenile, but it was the most serious I’d ever been about someone. Scottie was different. He didn’t judge me for the past, but more importantly, he didn’t give up on me either. So many people had, but he was always there rooting me on, believing I could make something better of myself.
He made me believe it. In a future where I had a home with him, maybe another kid. Be a better parent this time.
“I may even be falling in love with you. Just a little bit.”
I inhaled sharply, and my throat muscles tightened. “Oh yeah?” I brought our lips closer and rubbed mine against his. “What does a man have to do for you to fall all the way?”
“You mean you don’t know?” His smile made my heart beat fast. He looked happy to be with me.
Fuck, but he made me tear up.
“Griff?”
