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“I remember you were here all the time, Madeline, always busy studying or helping others.” The librarian, Martha, smiles warmly at her. Her creased face and warm eyes behind red framed glasses look just as kind as they did a few years ago.
“That sounds like me,” Mads says politely but I can hear the slight annoyance in her voice.
“This one would follow you around like a lost puppy,” She jokes, nodding her head at me. I duck my own head and shake it back and forth in embarrassment.
“Not like a lost puppy,” I mumble. I hear a chuckle and look up to see Mads smiling at me. When she catches me looking, she looks back at Martha quickly.
We chat for a little while more, before saying our goodbyes and heading out the door. I lead her to our old Psychology classroom. “We had Psych together here, first semester of freshman year. On the first day, I was walking behind you, trying not to come across stalker-y, but hoping we would be in the same class. Then you flung the door open too hard and almost fell. I caught you before you hit the ground,” I say warmly, remembering the memory.
She smiles and looks at the door, “That sounds like something I’d do.” I smile at her smile.
“I sat next to you that day in class. You were really pissed and almost fell out of your seat trying to keep your distance from me,” I smirk and she giggles softly. My heart races at the sound.
“Again, sounds like something I would do,” She remarks before walking in the classroom to look around. “Where did we sit?”
I lead her to the two-chair table towards the middle of the room and sit down. “Here. We only sat together once that first time then not again until we started dating. We sat together every time after that.”
She sits down next to me. She doesn’t say anything as she looks around the empty classroom. After a few minutes she stands up and I follow her to the door. “What’s next?” She asks softly. I smile, relieved she is going along with this.
We walk around the campus for about an hour, looking at the buildings and various spots that made up our beginning. I point out different spots along the way, recalling memories.
“This is where you tried to declare a snowball fight with Ana, but you ended up running away because she started beating you,” I say while laughing a bit. She smiles.
We come across the stairs that lead up to the administration buildings. I point towards them. “You wiped out on these stairs during junior year. You tripped going down and grabbed the person’s backpack next to you going up, pulling them down with you the rest of the way.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh my God, were they okay?” She asks worriedly, but I see amusement on her face.
“She was fine, annoyed I think. But afterwards you dragged her to the coffee shop and bought her coffee and a cookie. I think you stayed friends with her actually.” I glance at her with a smirk. She looks down, cheeks pink.
“Is anything coming back to you at all?” I ask hesitantly. She shakes her head, her face full of sadness. I almost say, ‘it’s okay’, but I stop myself. I know that it will piss her off.
Next I bring her to the courtyard, specifically to the bench she brought me to the day after our gas station event. Mads always called it the gas station disaster or fiasco, but that felt like it implied only something bad. I knew it was crazy, and the fact that that happened to us at all still blew my mind, but it was the start of us. I could never refer to that as a disaster.
“The day after the gas station, I was walking through the courtyard when I heard your voice,” I start. I sit down, my ass instantly freezing. She sits next to me. The wince she makes confirms she feels the same bite of cold. “I recognized your voice instantly. But I didn’t believe it at first, that you were calling my name. But you were. I turned around, and you were trying to navigate the crowd in a graceful way only you can,” I smirk and she blushes. Beautiful. I continue, “and you asked to talk. I was a nervous idiot, and totally came across as an asshole. But I was so nervous and I didn’t know what to say. You ended up leaving, really upset with me.” I look at her apologetically. Her eyebrows come together pensively before she looks away and across the campus.
“Come on, my ass is frozen, I know yours is too.” I stand up, and without thinking I hold my hand out for her. She looks at it for just a second too long, but she slowly places her hand in mine and I feel her warmth spread throughout every inch of me. I give her hand a squeeze before letting go. Hers lingers for just a moment before she shoves it in her jacket pocket. We walk around for a little while longer. I basically just give her a tour and keep pointing out some of her favorite places.
After we are cold and tired, I bring her to the diner where we had our first date together. When I see the booth we sat at on our first date is empty, I request it. She scoots into her seat and removes her jacket, folding it and placing it next to her.
“What did I get on our first date?” She asks while looking at the menu.
“An omelet with vegetables in it…it looked…very healthy,” I tease and she smiles a little.
“I like veggie omelets,” She says. “Is that why you make them sometimes at home?” Home. My heart jumps at that word coming out of her mouth.
“Yes,” I answer. “Definitely not for my enjoyment.”
“Not a veggie man?” She asks.
“Not for breakfast,” I answer. She smiles at me. A genuine smile.
We order and I’m not surprised when she gets the veggie omelet.
As we wait for our food, the silence begins to feel a little awkward. I try so hard to think of something to say that could start her talking and not scare her off.
You’ve become a watered-down version of yourself. Ana’s words come back to me. Okay, here we go.
“On our first date, we had some hard conversations,” I begin and she looks at me curiously.
