AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Oh?” She asks.
I clear my throat. “It used to be really, really hard for me to talk to people. To share my feelings. To communicate in a healthy way in general.” She waits patiently for me to go on. “I’ve been very hesitant to bring this up, because I’ve been so scared of upsetting you, or depressing you with my ‘sob story’.”
She furrows her brows in confusion. “Please don’t worry about upsetting me,” She says softly.
I nod. I look into her eyes to find the strength only she can give me, take a deep breath and begin, “I had a really hard childhood…”
I really hoped I would never have to share this story in depth again, but I am willing to do anything to save my relationship with Mads. I know that me opening up to her seven years ago was a huge turning point in her starting to understand me and see me in a new way. While the gas station turned us towards a new path, my opening up to her was what set us walking down the path together.
She listens intently, shedding a few tears at times. I stop only when our food is brought to us.
She looks down at her plate quietly. “I had…no idea, I’m so sorry.” She looks up to me, her face full of sadness, “I mean I guess I did know…but I’m sorry I forgot all of it.”
“It’s not your fault, Mads.” I smile softly at her.
“I wish you told me again sooner,” She whispers.
“I was scared to share it again,” I admit. “I’ve been trying to give you your space, honestly. But I realize now that I’ve been hoping you would remember the man that you fell in love with…but I haven’t been that man for you at all.”
She nods, understandingly. My chest already feels lighter at the amount of words we’ve shared with each other. Real words, not fake place-holder words to fill the awkward moments of our daily lives. Real words.
“Thank you for sharing your story with me. Then and now.” She says with a sweet smile.
“Thank you for listening, for accepting it…then and now,” I reply. She looks back down at her food. “Eat, please. We can talk more after.”
She nods and takes a bite. We eat in silence that feels a little more comfortable. Once we are finished and I pay, she looks at me nervously. “Where to now?”
I lucked out when I called the landlord of the apartment complex and found out that her old apartment is currently empty. I explained my impossible situation to him and he was happy to open it for us and let us have a look inside. I feel a sense of deja-vu while driving down this familiar street. We pass the gas station and I point it out to her.
Her head whips to the side as she looks out the window to where I’m pointing. “Wow. I still can’t believe that happened.”
“Me too, honestly.” I chuckle. “That’s truly what started the change in our relationship. Well, I guess that and when I saw you with that guy.”
“Guy? What guy?” She looks at me abruptly.
“You were seeing a guy for a few weeks before we started our relationship,” I admit, internally cringing.
“Really? No one ever told me that!”
“You were only with him for a few weeks,” I say softly.
“What happened to us?”
“You chose me,” I answer. I look over at her and she looks lost in thought. She eventually nods and looks back out the window until we pull up to her apartment. She stares at it, looking confused.
“I’ve been here before,” She says under her breath.
“Yes, you lived in apartment 12 with Ana.”
“No…I remember,” She whispers and I snap my head towards hers.
“You remember?” I breathe.
“I…don’t know…what exactly. But this looks so familiar.” She gets out of the car in a daze. I hurry out to meet her on the other side. My eyes stay locked on her face, but she just stares at the building. “How long did I live here?” She asks.
“Four years,” I answer. “Just you and Ana, but I basically moved in also.”
She looks at the small building, and then she turns to look at the other buildings that all look identical. There are about five that make up the whole complex. I start walking to her old door and she follows me quietly. The door is unlocked and I explain that I called the landlord for this favor. We walk inside and it feels like stepping back through time.
