AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Is she okay?” He asks.
“Yeah, I think she’s spending the night with that guy she’s been seeing,” I answer with a raise of my eyebrows.
He does too. “Must be getting serious…I think we need to meet him,” He jokes and I laugh. We ate on the way home, so neither of us are hungry. We decide to watch a movie since it is still so early. I make some popcorn and bring it over to him on the couch. I put on some random movie that I’d seen advertised for a few days now. It isn’t terrible but I can’t focus on it.
When the movie ends, we both get ready for bed. He washes up and changes first. When he is done, he walks back into my room in sweatpants and a t-shirt and climbs into my bed. I walk to the bathroom.
I stand in the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. I know with certainty what I want to happen tonight, but I am still a little nervous. I put on a cropped silk tank and matching little shorts, something Ana got me to make me blush, as opposed to my pajama pants and oversized t-shirt.
Not that I have a lot of experience with guys, but even when I was crushing on guys or dating Will…I never wanted to take that next step. Not only did I have no desire to, but I knew I was never ready. I wanted my first time to be with someone who I knew loved me, respected me, and cherished me. I want my first time to be with someone who makes me feel completely comfortable in my own body. Elliot is that person. I’ve known that for a while now. But after the other night, I’m certain that I want to take this step now.
He’s never pressured me or made me feel like he wants more, and has always taken my cues when it comes to intimacy. I know he’s letting me take the lead with this part of our relationship.
I take a deep breath and brush my teeth. I am ready. I just hope he is ready too. I know that he has had sex. But I also know that he has never had it with someone he loves. This is a new experience for both of us. Ana is gone tonight; it is just the two of us. I know tonight is our night.
I smile. Excited. Nervous, but excited. I walk out of the bathroom and when I walk back into my bedroom, I find him lying on my bed under the covers scrolling on his phone. He looks up at me with a smile but when he sees me his smile fades and his mouth drops. His eyes grow wide. I smile. He is still frozen. I walk over to the bed and climb in next to him. His eyes follow me, his mouth still gaping, and his hands still holding his phone.
“Hi,” I breathe.
“Hi,” He says back to me. His words are barely a whisper.
“I love you…and I…I want…” I’m not sure how to say it. I smile shyly.
“Mads, we don’t have to do this…” He whispers, his eyes locked on mine.
“No, I want to. I really want to. With you.” His face softens. He puts his phone on the nightstand next to him then turns on his side to face me wholly.
“Baby, seriously…I want you to be one hundred percent ready. And if you’re never ready, I’m more than happy to only watch movies with you and sleep next to you forever, ” He says seriously.
I smile while reaching out to stroke his face. “I’m ready. One million percent ready. I love you and I want you.”
He groans. “Holy sh-crap, my heart can’t take this…” He runs his hand through his hair. “Mads…I love you so much…a-are you sure?”
“Yes,” I say. “Only if…if you want to.”
“Believe me…I want to. God, especially after the other night…knowing how you feel…and taste… ” He murmurs and takes my face in his hands, my face flushes with beautiful heat, my body aching for him. He holds my face with heartbreaking gentleness. “Only if you’re ready.”
I lean in to kiss him and give him my answer. He kisses me back softly at first and slowly gives me more.
“If at any point…you want to stop…please tell me…any time at all,” He says between kisses. I nod and he gently rolls me onto my back, holding himself over me on his forearms.
“You’re so beautiful,” He whispers against my lips.
We kiss for a while before my hands stray from his face and begin to explore his body. He murmurs ‘I love you’ over and over as my hands continue to touch him. Eventually I slide my fingers under his shirt and start pulling it up to take it off. He shifts his body to help me pull it over his head. He settles down next to me this time, one arm propped on the pillow and the other one resting on my waist.
“Madeline…” He whispers my name with reverence. “I love you.”
“I love you, Elliot,” I breathe against his mouth. “So much.”
I pull off my silk tank with his help, and he relaxes his body against mine. I look into his eyes and find only adoration and love. I smile as I lean forward to capture his lips and we both sink into a blissful euphoria.
My eyes open slowly, adjusting to the sun coming through the cracks of my curtains. I feel Elliot’s arms tightly wrapped around me, holding my back to his chest. Skin to skin. I feel his breath on my neck and I smile.
As I continue to wake up, memories of last night come rushing back to me. I remember the way his hands and lips touched me. The way his eyes glazed over. The way we smiled and laughed and whispered ‘I love you’ to each other over and over, never feeling awkward. The momentary pain and discomfort soothed by his kisses and loving words. The happiness and peace I felt when he held me afterwards, when he promised me he would love me for the rest of his days.
I’ve never felt so loved, in my entire life.
I’ve never felt so complete.
