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“Go for it.” She giggles.
I start slowly, careful not to graze the skin of her neck with my fingers when I grab each piece. I weave the strands together but quickly find that it’s much harder than paracord. Her hair is thick and my fingers are daft trying to figure out how to grab each piece while keeping hold at the same time.
I have to stop and start over multiple times, smoothing it back out. I’m concentrating so hard that I forget to check her reflection to see if she’s okay until she snorts a laugh.
“What?”
“Your face. You’re so serious, it’s funny. But, cute, very cute,” she assures me, laughing again. I don’t mind that she’s making fun of me, I’m just glad she’s comfortable and happy. I’ll make a fool of myself if it makes her smile.
“Alright, alright. One more try then I’m giving up.” I take my time, braiding the three pieces together until I get a semi-decent length of braid. “Boom! Got it.” I exclaim, victoriously and she claps for me.
“Now what?” She smiles, mischievously.
“What do you mean?” I look at the hair I’m holding, wondering what I’m missing.
I glance at her wrists instinctively as she raises them. “No hair tie.”
“You set me up.” I feign astonishment while she laughs.
“There’s one in my bottom nightstand drawer.” She points, and we both calculate the distance, realizing that I can’t reach it from here.
“Okay, here we go. Trust-building exercise.” I get to my feet, lifting her braid as she stands with me, and we shuffle over towards her bed while I try not to tug her like she’s on a leash.
I have to dig through her bottom drawer until I find an elastic, then take entirely too long to figure out how to wrap it around the end of the braid while she laughs at my expense.
“I’ve never done this before, be nice.” I plead dramatically, making her laugh harder. I mess up a few extra times, only to keep hearing her so amused and carefree. By the time I get her hair secured, she’s falling on her bed in a fit of giggles. It’s the sweetest sound that I’ve ever heard.
“Thank you, for doing my hair,” she says once her laughing ceases. The way she’s lying on her bed, limbs scattered and relaxed, she looks beautiful. All the little hairs I missed have fallen around her, framing her face. She’s gorgeous, inside and out.
“Any time.” Braiding her hair just became one of my favorite memories.
I sit on the foot of the bed, giving her plenty of space even though I want nothing more than to cover her body with mine. Especially when she can’t keep her eyes from straying to my bare chest. I should’ve put a shirt on for decency’s sake, but I like the way she looks at me. Like she can’t get enough.
“When do you think you’ll have to go back to Texas?” She asks suddenly.
“I don’t know, but I put in transfer papers while I was doing all of the other stacks of paperwork at the hospital the other day.”
Her mouth pops open in surprise and I watch her closely, afraid that I scared her off.
“You really want to stay?” she asks, bashfully, making me want to erase the space between us and kiss her as my answer. My muscles tense painfully, keeping me in place.
“Your brother practically twisted my arm about it when I left his house Sunday morning, so the timing felt right. Especially now that I can’t leave his sister alone,” I admit, hesitantly.
She smiles shyly but it lets me breathe easier. I’m moving fast but I’m not trying to freak her out.
“What if they deny the transfer request?”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “I’ve always been too afraid to get my hopes up for anything… Until now. I don’t want to miss out on this, that’s all I know.” I nod my head towards her so there is no mistaking what I mean.
She sits up, leaning back on her hands, and studies me with a tilt of her head. “I don’t want to miss out on it either. You mean a lot to me already, Jesse.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, absorbing her admission. It’s so strange to hear those words from someone when I’m not used to being cared about by anyone. I won’t survive if I fuck this up. I’ve lost too much already.
“I’ll make it work, whatever happens,” I vow. Despite my fear, I don’t want to regret not doing everything I can to keep her. If some higher power is offering me the chance of a life with her then I’m taking it. I’ll do whatever it takes. She’s all that matters now.
“What if I’m not worth it?” She asks in that small voice that I know means she’s letting herself get lost in the depths of her past.
“You are. I promise.”
