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I do the only thing that feels right and place my hand on his cheek, watching his eyes closely as they snap to mine. I see the moment that his fire-filled gaze cools and he registers my touch.
“Please, wherever you went in your head, stay with me instead. Right here,” I whisper to him in the dark, trying to ignore the slight shake in my hand. I’m touching his face. Jesse’s face. I have to squeeze my eyes shut for a moment to accept that I did it. I made another step toward progress.
“I’m here, Sunshine. I’m sorry,” he apologizes, his eyes conveying how much he means it. “No one is ever going to hurt you again. I promise.”
Whether it’s because I know he means it, or because he still wants me despite the story I just told him, I let myself cry. Instead of crying for the life I thought I’d never get, I cry realizing that I might get it.
I could get the life I want with Jesse because I’m determined to. If I can make it this far, I can do the rest.
I have to, for both of our sakes.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Jesse
The text that I was expecting came just after midnight. Thea was sleeping soundly as I grabbed my stuff, but I couldn’t resist brushing a piece of hair off her forehead before I left her side. As I made my way out of her room, she rolled over to my newly vacated spot and curled into my pillow.
Understanding how badly she wants to be close to me in every way that she can, in every way that she feels safe, makes my chest tight. Her story earlier was worse than a knife to the heart.
I’ve never felt such anger in my life. The thought of what she went through and how someone who was supposed to be her father’s friend hurt her so badly is enraging.
I was plotting my way to find the bastard and kill him when her gentle touch brought me back to earth. I still want to find him, but for now, I’ll stay close to her because that’s what she wants.
The last thing that I should do is to make her trauma all about me. Instead, I’ll do anything necessary to make her feel safe, including hearing her when she tells me she needs me here with her. Not to go on a killing spree even though it would be so fulfilling to punish every person who has hurt her.
She’s incredible and I admire her strength. She went through something horrific and still manages to put a smile on her face every day. More than that, she manages to brighten so many people’s lives by being herself.
She is willing to go up against her fears because she’s ready to move on with her life and away from her past. It’s the most admirable thing that I could imagine.
These hillbilly extremists I’m on my way to meet have no clue what it means to persevere and overcome. They haven’t fought any real battles in their life, not like Thea. The most radiant, kind-hearted woman who has experienced real evil at the hands of men would never hurt a fly.
Then you have these military rejects posing as victims to further a cause they don’t give a shit about. They want destruction because they didn’t get a golden ticket in life. Join the fucking club.
The drive out to the farm is a drag, but I grit my teeth and pedal down on the accelerator anyway. The sooner I get this over with the better.
Mitch and Derrick are at the gate and wave me through. The farmhouse is hopping. Cars are parked everywhere, and people are scattered across the lawn and front porch. I can only imagine what the inside looks like. This must be one of those parties that Curtis was telling me about. Great. The last fucking thing I feel like doing when I could be laying in bed next to a beautiful woman, instead.
Just as I had thought about him, he comes stumbling out of the house with a beer in one hand and a red solo cup in the other. He sees me and locks on target, making his way toward me with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Hey, buddy! Glad you could make it!” He shouts in my ear as he forces an awkward hug on me since both of his hands are full.
“We just partying tonight, or what?” I ask, not caring to hide my annoyance since Curtis is already toasted and won’t remember this tomorrow.
“Big party. Hot girls inside,” he pauses to take a drink from his cup and I can smell the hard liquor. “Oh. There was someone here I wanted you to meet, but I can’t remember.” He chuckles, taking another drink. I fight the urge to turn around and leave.
“Oh. Oh, and Jameson wants to see you.”
“About what?” My hackles rise.
“Dunno. He’s in the kitchen.” Curtis wanders away before I can ask him anything else, so I crack my neck and make my way inside. The house itself is old, the floorboards undoubtedly creaking if the music wasn’t drowning it out.
Window panes are missing from around the door. The AC units in the living room are dripping with condensation, making the inside air sticky.
Just as Curtis said, I find Jameson sitting around an old oak table in the kitchen, surrounded on either side by people that I don’t know. A few women I’ve never seen, nor care to, linger about.
The hot girls that Curtis was talking about must be long gone, because these girls look like they live halfway between a crack house and a whore house.
“Ah, Jay. You made it. Good. Sit down.” He shoos one of the girls away, leaving the chair next to him open so I can sit. “Get him a beer,” he tells the other girl, leaving us semi-alone until she sits the silver can in front of me.
