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“Promise?” I whisper against his lips, letting him close the distance. He kisses me gently, not daring to push me any farther, but I want more. I stand on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around his neck, deepening our kiss.
It feels safe and comforting to kiss him this way, but at the same time I feel hot and on the edge of losing control. Knowing that I can lose control if I want, that I’m safe to do so, turns me on beyond belief.
“I want to give you the world,” he confesses against my lips between kisses. I slide my tongue across his, making him groan.
“I have it, I have you.” I suck on his bottom lip and my body leans deeper into his, feeling his hardness against my belly. He groans again at the contact.
“Thea,” he warns, making me want to torture him more. His arms are braced on either side of me, holding onto the top of my dresser with a vice grip. He’s so patient with me, he never pushes me to do anything I don’t want to, and it makes me want to give him everything.
“When do we have to leave?” I kiss his jaw, then run my tongue down his neck.
“Later,” he grits out through clenched teeth. “I owe you another orgasm.”
“Should we take our clothes off, now?” I ask, scraping my teeth across his collarbone, just above his shirt. He doesn’t respond, but quickly steps back and whips his shirt off like he can’t wait another second.
“Let me see you, baby.” He undoes the button of his jeans, letting them hang on his hips until I snap out of gawking at him and take my shirt off. I’m wearing another lacey bralette and I’m glad because I can tell how much he likes it. He has to fight to get his jeans off past his hardness.
“God, you’re perfect.” He lights me on fire with his eyes as I toss my shorts aside. Leaving me in my teal bra and matching thong.
“I want you to touch me,” I tell him, but my voice wavers slightly and he notices.
“I know, baby. I want to touch you, too, but I can wait. I don’t want to push you if you aren’t ready.” He steps closer, bracing me against the dresser again, being as close as possible without making contact.
My mind is reeling, trying to come up with a solution to my problems because I am desperate for him. It’s like my brain needs to be mentally prepared for every touch and I can’t get passed it.
Anticipating his movements might ease some of my anxiety, so I take one of his hands in mine, guiding him to my floor-length mirror with ease. He doesn’t ask questions and he doesn’t resist, giving me full control.
Facing our reflection, he stands behind me, watching me closely. I soak in the way he looks at me, letting it ease my worry. His eyes are nothing but kind and curious. His faith in my ability to overcome my inner turmoil is more than enough to keep me going.
I undo my bra, letting it fall to the floor at my feet while his eyes gaze heavily at my bare breasts. My nipples are already tight with arousal, desperate for his touch. It’s exactly where I want to start.
Placing his palm atop the back of my hand and interlocking our fingers, I guide our conjoined hands to my chest. With my palm flat against my skin, his larger one dwarfs mine, giving the illusion that he’s the one touching me.
I stare at it, imagining that my hand is gone and that he is touching me. The shaky rise and fall of my chest is the only indication that I’m struggling a little. It’s just a hand, I don’t know why it scares me so much, but the anxiety is prickling at my skull.
“I’ve got you, Thea. I will never hurt you. I’m going to keep you safe for the rest of my life, baby. No one can hurt you again,” he whispers closely to my ear, soothing me.
His words encourage me, fighting off the anxiety creeping in on me and letting me breathe a little easier. I can do this.
Chapter Forty
Jesse
Iwant to remember this moment forever. Thea standing before me, clutching our joined hands above her heart, fighting off the demons that plague her. The pure determination in her eyes is breathtaking. There is something so beautiful about her strength and I feel privileged to see it.
She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, making our hands rise and fall before she steadily moves us down to her breast. She cups the right side in her hand, curling our fingers around it and giving me the briefest contact with my fingertips. That tiny amount of soft skin against mine makes my nostrils flare.
“You’re doing so good, baby. You’re so beautiful,” I whisper, making her sigh longingly. She’s turned on, but she’s still fighting against her nerves, so I let her. There’s no rush. If nothing happens past this moment, I’d still praise her for progress.
Her other hand fumbles slightly against the top of my left before locking onto it and lifting my palm to cover her other breast, curling her fingers over mine to cup the weight. The sound I choke out is nothing short of surprise.
I’m touching her perfect body, no barrier between us.
“Fuck, baby. You feel so good,” I say breathlessly. Holding a girl’s boob shouldn’t make me feel so triumphant at this stage in my life, but I can feel my cock pulsing with excitement.
This is a huge step and I’m so proud of her, but I’m also doing mental fist pumps in the air because I’m touching her. I’ve been dreaming of having her like this, feeling her.
Her breathing is elevated, but she seems in control, her eyes are locked onto our hands in the mirror’s reflection. She gently swaps our hands on the right, letting me cup that breast as well, and if possible my dick swells even more.
