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Jesse rests his hand on the center seat between us, palm up, as an invitation. “I’m with you, no matter what. We’ll talk when we get home.” Home.
I squeeze my eyes shut, hardly containing the sob threatening to break loose. He still wants me. He wants to go home, to my home, with me.
I’m so tired and my emotions are fried. I just want to go home with him too, so I take his hand, interlocking our fingers. Soaking up the little squeeze of reassurance that he gives me.
“Ready?” Nathan asks from the front seat.
“Yeah, take us home.” I lean my head back against the seat, rolling it to the side to look at Jesse.
Home.
* * *
After reanalyzing our conversation during the ride home, I accepted that I might have misconstrued what Jesse was saying earlier. We’re both exhausted and he’s in pain. I insist he goes straight to bed after Nathan and Callie leave. He needs rest. I need rest.
I get him settled, making sure he has water and Tylenol, before climbing into bed next to him. I’m afraid to touch him, only because I know he’s hurt. I don’t want to add to it, so I keep to my side. “I’m sorry if I freaked out earlier,” I admit softly.
“I’m sorry if I said something to make you freak out. I honestly don’t even remember what words came out of my mouth, everything’s a little foggy.” He reaches out, offering his hand again like he did in the truck. I take it immediately, needing to be connected in some way.
“It sounded like you were breaking up with me. You said that all you could think about was me, but it couldn’t work that way. You said it almost got you killed,” I whisper the last part, hating to even say the words.
“Shit, Thea.” He squeezes my hand. “I didn’t mean it that way. I’m not second-guessing you. I’m second-guessing the job. I don’t ever want to put you in this position again. It’s not fair to you. I told you once that your heart was safe with me and I meant it. I’m not going to break it, not even by dying.”
I laugh, but it’s mixed with a sob. How could I have doubted him?
“My brain is so fucked up. I can’t fathom that someone could truly care for me,” I admit.
“We’re all a little fucked up, baby,” he responds quietly. “I’m so attached to you, you’d run away if you could read my thoughts.”
“I’m never running again,” I promise, kissing his hand.
“Just my hand?” He pouts, making me giggle. So, I kiss his shoulder, then his jaw, and ever so lightly kiss his lips, careful to avoid the busted part.
“I love you, Thea.” He utters the words and my breath catches. Before I can truly react, his head lulls to the side and he’s out like a light.
I squeeze my eyes shut, relishing those words. He loves me. The man who has become my entire world and gave me my life back loves me.
I try with all my might to contain the hysteric squeal that is threatening to let loose. I thought I had lost him, but now he’s here, safe, and at home. With me. He loves me.
“I love you too, Jesse,” I whisper against his shoulder, watching him sleep until my own eyes are too heavy.
Chapter Forty-Four
Jesse
The knife is coming at me. Move. Move, dammit. Kyle is walking straight towards me, his switchblade aimed right at my throat. I fight and jerk my limbs, but nothing happens. My body is full of sand. I can’t budge an inch. Fuck, why is this happening?
I look back toward Kyle, but instead, my father is walking towards me, knife raised. It’s him, my dad, but it looks like me. “Time’s up, little man.”
I startle awake, sucking in lungfuls of air, trying to catch my breath. The immediate pain spreads through me like wildfire. Ugh, my ribs. I groan and wince until the pain subsides, leaving a dull ache as long as I don’t breathe.
I pull myself up to a sitting position and regret it immediately. My whole body hurts, my brain feels like it’s bleeding.
“What do you need?” Thea stumbles out of bed, disoriented with sleep lines across her cheeks. Despite my pain, it makes me smile.
“Water, Tylenol,” I grit out uselessly because the items are sitting right next to me. “I’ll get it.”
“No, no, no. I got it,” she insists. “Let me take care of you.”
