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“What the fuck are you doing?” He asks angrily. He’s never directed any level of anger towards me, and I’m stunned for a moment, unable to speak.
“I have to go. I can’t stay here,” I finally say.
“And why’s that?” He doesn’t budge from his spot, my face is still directly in front of his chest. If I leaned in just a few inches my nose would touch his sternum.
Not able to look him in the eyes, I manage to whisper, “I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.” My jaw is trembling, my whole body is shaking, I think my knees are going to give out any second standing here. “Please Nathan, just let me go, you don’t have to feel obligated to help me,” I stutter out.
“Sit down. Now.” His command makes my knees immediately buckle. My butt lands in the living room chair that I’m closest to. Pulling the backpack from my shoulder, he discards it on the couch before leaning towards me, caging me in. Each of his hands brace the arms of the chair, one on either side of me, and I can’t help but notice the strain in his grip.
“Callie, I’m going to say this one time and don’t argue with me. You. Are. Not. Leaving,” he says, enunciating each word. “Do you really think I gave a shit about that little podunk Sheriff? I promised to keep you safe, did you think I was lying?” He stares at me, waiting for a response, “Callie?” He prompts me again to answer him.
“No,” I squeak out.
“No, what?” He doesn’t yell, but his voice is elevated, stern, like a drill sergeant.
“No, sir,” I respond, but immediately scold myself. Why the hell did I call him sir? That’s not what he was asking. I’m afraid to meet his eyes, but he hasn’t said anything yet, so I slowly look up into his face.
Expecting to see anger, I’m taken aback when I see a fire burning in his eyes. My body reacts immediately to his proximity, to the heat of his gaze. Warmth pools between my legs, my desire for him uncontrollable. We both stare at each other, neither of us saying anything, neither of us moving.
It’s like walking a fine line. Both of us uphold a sense of decency around each other based on the events that led me here, even though attraction has been sizzling between us the whole time. I hoped it wasn’t one sided, and now seeing the way he’s looking at me… It makes me hope for things I shouldn’t.
Finally, Nathan clarifies his demand, “Tell me that you’re not going anywhere.” His voice is like velvet against my insides. My brain responds immediately, like it couldn’t wait to answer him.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I whisper, still not having full strength in my voice.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Nathan
White knuckling the arms of the chair is the only thing stopping me from grabbing her. Crushing my mouth against hers, showing her just how much I really want her to stay. I lurch away from her before I do something stupid, something to scare her off.
I’ve never felt this much need for a woman, it’s the first time I’ve ever had trouble controlling myself. It takes all of my willpower to walk away, to stop acting like a fucking animal.
I keep walking until the front door shuts behind me and I’m standing on the porch. I suck the cool evening air into my lungs, needing to clear my head.
Being near Callie is all consuming, and I can’t fight it. I really don’t want to, but I have to for her sake. She’s too vulnerable, her emotions have been scrubbed raw, and she’d never forgive me if things between us escalated before she was truly ready. She holds all the power between us, whether she knows it or not.
Twilight fades to darkness while I stand here against the porch railing, trying to sort my thoughts. One thing for sure, Callie is staying with me. She doesn’t get to leave on the basis of guilt.
She thought she would be doing me a favor, protecting me by leaving, but she doesn’t realize how unnecessary that is. If she did leave, I’d follow her. I’d follow her all the way to Canada if it meant she was safe. I sound like a stalker, but I really don’t give a fuck anymore. Protecting her is the only thing that has made sense for me in a long time. The only thing that has felt right.
I know saving her was the right choice, I just wish I knew what happens next. Now that we know there is a connection between Sheriff Donahue, Tony and Bub, it’s hard to guess their agenda.
Two options stand out in my head, either the Sheriff is going to find Tony and Bub and make them disappear, figuratively. He doesn’t seem the type to actually make them pay for their crimes if he has a relation to them. He’d probably pay for their tickets to Mexico. The other option, the one I’m worried about, is the Sheriff coming after us to make us disappear, literally. More specifically, Callie.
I need to call the state police, let them know what’s going on and that there is a conflict of interest. I’m not familiar with the jurisdictions and the reach of law enforcement in this area yet, but calling them seems like the only option at this point.
Focusing on Callie’s safety is easier than thinking about the other feelings I have. I don’t know how it’s possible to care about her this much in the short span of time that I’ve known her, but it’s screwing my head up. I need to go back inside, let her know my plan, give her some sense of comfort. We can figure out the rest tomorrow.
Stalling a little longer, I grab the groceries from my truck that were almost long forgotten and take them in with me. I go straight to the kitchen, but not before casting a glance over to the living room. She’s still sitting in the same chair that I left her in, holding her head in her hands with her eyes squeezed shut.
My chest aches seeing her like that. I resist going over to her, needing to keep the clear head I just achieved by standing on the porch for so long. I take a couple minutes putting away the groceries, trying to decide how to handle things going forward.
I can play the part, pretend like I’m not falling for her, even if it pains me to do so. The last thing she needs is more complications, but regardless of my feelings, she’s still a wreck and I need to do something to make her feel better.
Not knowing the best way to do this, I go down the hall to the bathroom and run hot water in the tub. I leave it running while I return to the living room, without saying anything or giving her a chance to protest, I pick her up and cradle her to my chest. A perfect parallel of how I carried her through the woods yesterday, reminding me yet again that I’ve only known her a day. She lets out a small noise of surprise, but doesn’t fight it. She’s either too defeated to care, or she trusts me enough that she doesn’t question what I’m doing. I hope for the latter. I sit her down on the counter next to the sink and turn the bath water off.
“I know everything that’s happened seems like too much to handle, but you will handle it. We will get through this. But, for now, take a bath, I’ll make dinner. We’ll start trying to save the world tomorrow.” I try joking, hoping to loosen some of the tightness in her posture, but she still won’t look at me. Her head is downturned towards her knees, her eyes are still squeezed shut.
