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Teenagers make stupid mistakes all the time. Jess isn’t the only one to do something they regret. I wish I had never gone to that party. If I hadn’t, maybe things would have ended differently.
“Why did you lie?” It’s the question that’s haunted me all these years. Tears burn behind my eyes as I continue. “It was Liam’s fault. He was driving. You didn’t need to blame me.”
She wraps her arms around herself, almost defensively. “Thea—”
“Do you know how horrible that was?” Now my nose is prickling, and I sniff hard to force the tears back. “Liam was dead. Then people said it was my fault. His mother… She called me a killer, Jess. I can’t forget that.”
“I know.” Her voice rises. “I know, Thea. It was so stupid. So selfish. But I was in the hospital, my face was all cut up, I was never going to look the same—” She pulls her hair back, gesturing with her other hand at it. “I lost everything.”
“Jess…” Sympathy seeps through me, dampening my anger.
“It just came out, at first.” Jess swallows hard. “Me trying to save Liam. Like I was a tragic hero, or something. And then it was easier to make you the villain. I kept repeating the lies until I almost believed them.”
What do I say? All the things I imagined telling Jess—how her actions affected me, still do—it doesn’t seem worth it anymore. Why hurt her when it’s so clear she’s in enough pain already?
In my silence, Jess takes an unsteady step back toward the door. “I’m so sorry, Thea. If I could go back… I wasn’t just a horrible friend. I was a horrible person.”
This time, as I look into her eyes, I don’t see the person who betrayed me.
I see the girl I laughed with in the mall, trying on ridiculous outfits and nearly peeing ourselves in the dressing room. I see the Jess who cried to me in the school bathroom after her latest boyfriend broke up with her. And I see a woman who made a mistake.
“Jess. Wait.”
“What?” Her eyes are swimming in tears, and I’m dimly aware of dampness trickling down my cheeks.
“It’s in the past.” I step forward to touch her arm. “I think that’s where it should stay.”
Surprise flickers across her face. “Do you… do you forgive me?”
“Yes.” A weight lifts—no, not lifts, flies—off me.
“Thea…” Jess trails off before continuing. “I didn’t expect you to. Not after—”
“But I do.” All my anxiety about this meeting is gone, replaced by a certainty that this needed to happen. For both of us. “Things happen for a reason. If I hadn’t moved away, I wouldn’t have come back when I did. And I wouldn’t have met Ben.”
And despite all the other crap going on in my life, Ben and Laila make it all worth it.
Jess stares at me, her expression softening. “I’m happy for you.” Grimacing, she adds, “I know it won’t happen for me. But I’m glad you found someone like that.”
“You never know when it could happen. I wasn’t expecting it. Not then.”
After crashing into a tree? Definitely not.
“Not looking like this.” Jess angles her face, exposing her scars. “But I’ve accepted it.”
“Ah, Jess.” How can I not comfort her? She’s stiff at first, then relaxes as I pull her in for a quick hug. “That’s not true. I’m sure of it.”
As soon as I release her, my phone buzzes, interrupting the emotional moment.
Jess steps back, wiping her cheeks. “I should go.”
I glance at my phone, face up on my desk, fairly certain I know who it is. And I’m right; it’s Ben telling me he’s leaving his house and will be here in about ten minutes. “Okay.”
“Maybe,” she starts, her expression uncertain. “Maybe we could have coffee sometime?”
I’m not sure I want to; not yet. Not when I have so many tangled emotions to unravel. But I think Jess needs it more than me, so I say, “Okay. That would be nice.”
Once she leaves, I close the office door behind her, needing a moment of privacy. Sinking down in my chair, I do one of the short breathing exercises Ben taught me after one of my nightmares. It helps and after a minute, I’m feeling more settled.
