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It was a constant saying while I was in the Green Berets. And even though I’m not in the Army anymore, it holds true.
Pain is temporary. Staying strong enough to support my team is the ultimate goal.
I have to push past the pain so I can be a valuable member of our team. I need to keep the muscles and agility and skills necessary to do my job. If I have to deal with some pain to get there, it’s worth it.
Even when the frustration beats at me—it’s been five years, why hasn’t this pain gone away yet?—it’s not enough to discourage me. When I wake up on a rainy day and my back is aching, or I take a step wrong and my knee throbs for the next day, I grit my teeth and remind myself, I will not fail those with whom I serve.
If it was just me, I might have given up. Taken a desk job, cut back on my workouts to avoid the inevitable pain. And I would have given up on my dreams.
My dreams of being a protector, doing whatever it takes to help those in need. Of being a part of a real team, one that I can rely on for anything.
Five years ago, I thought those dreams were going to be ripped away from me, along with my team. And then my teammate—not just my teammate, but my friend, someone I call my brother—offered me another chance. Even though my career with the Army was over, I could still contribute, still help.
After we all left the Army, scattering across the country, Cole first went to work as a cop in Texas. While he was there, he grew frustrated with the red tape and bureaucracy that kept preventing him from doing his job. When one of his cases ended tragically—a woman killed by her violent ex because there wasn’t enough evidence to arrest him—Cole decided he wanted to create another option.
Along with my other Green Beret teammates, I joined Cole and his new company, Blade and Arrow Security. Created to serve dual purposes, part of our time is spent working paid jobs, the other doing pro-bono work. Our paid work includes providing security services to elite clients—high-level executives, wealthy business owners—and part of those profits goes toward helping our pro-bono clients.
That’s why I’m here, why we’re all here. To help people who’ve exhausted all other options and don’t have the connections or money to get help on their own. Without all the politics and the constraints the police face, we step in, a group of former A-Team Green Berets, and we get the job done.
But to do that, I need to be able to keep up with my teammates. And that requires hours of training. Strength training, cardio, agility, practicing in the firing range—we need to be ready to meet any kind of threat.
Which is why I’ve been gritting my teeth and sweating through my workout, even though today is one of those rainy days when my body feels like it’s sixty instead of thirty-six.
Letting the weights down with a clank, I grab my water bottle and take a healthy swig. Done. Now I can reward myself with a hot shower and some extra-strong coffee before heading to our weekly meeting.
“Hey, how was the workout?” Finn stops in front of me, a matching giant water bottle in hand. He’s been sprinting on the treadmill for the last forty-five minutes—the guy is crazy fast and ran D1 track in college—and I get tired just watching him.
“It was fine. The usual.” Standing up, I roll my shoulders before grabbing my towel and wiping the machine down.
Finn looks at me for a second, his expression carefully neutral. Then his brows come down, his gaze darkening with concern. “How’s the knee today? With the rain…”
“A little sore.” I hate even admitting that bit of weakness, but of all my teammates, Finn understands the best. Grinning at him, I say, “It’s fine though. Good enough to hold up while I kick your ass at darts tonight.”
“We’ll see.” He smirks at me, chuckling, “You’re just feeling cocky because Maya isn’t here.”
Cole’s new wife, Maya, is a ringer at darts. I’ve always been the resident pro of our team, but when we all went to our favorite brewpub with Maya the first time, she shocked all of us by beating me. Since I trained as a sniper and Maya has zero training, it’s safe to say none of us were expecting it.
As we head out of the gym and up the stairs to the main level of Blade and Arrow headquarters, I give Finn a sideways glance. “Want to put a wager on it?”
“Loser pays for drinks?”
I give him a chin lift as we walk out into the first floor hallway. “Done.” Flashing him a quick grin, I add, “Get ready to have your ass kicked.”
“Who’s getting their ass kicked?” Nora jogs up behind us, her face flushed and damp. Little hairs are coming free from her braid and she still carries the faint scent of cedar from the sauna attached to the gym. She smiles at us, looking more relaxed than normal. “If someone is kicking Finn’s ass, I want in.”
The three of us tromp up the stairs to the second floor toward our apartments. It’s a perk of working at Blade and Arrow—all of us have apartments either on the second or third floor of the building. It makes for a quick commute, plus there’s a gym and firing range in the basement, and the place is incredibly secure.
There are security cameras and alarms set up everywhere, the doors are all reinforced, even the windows were recently replaced with bulletproof glass. It’s virtually impossible for anyone to get in here uninvited. Given that we have three of my teammates’ women living here, it’s extra important that this building is well-protected.
“We’re going out for beers and darts tonight,” I tell Nora. “Do you want to come? I think Leo and Georgia might be coming. Zane said something about a date night with Elle.”
“Sure. Let me know when you’re leaving.” Nora gives Finn and me a brief nod before she opens the door to her apartment. “See you at the meeting in fifteen.”
“Fifteen minutes?” Finn mutters a low curse. “How am I always late to these things?”
Fifteen minutes is just enough time to brew a huge thermos of coffee and make myself semi-presentable. Not that I have to look great, but after over ten years in the Army, keeping a neat appearance has been ingrained in me. Splitting away from Finn in the direction of my apartment, I toss back a little wave. “See you soon.”
I’m in the conference room with a few minutes to spare, my thermos of coffee on the shiny table in front of me. Stretching back in the leather office chair, I roll my neck to get out some of the lingering stiffness that the shower couldn’t seem to relieve. Leo catches my eye from across the table, raising an eyebrow in an unspoken question.
