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When I make it to her office door, I don’t step inside immediately. Instead, I look at the name on the door. Doctor Brenda Hamilton. This is probably a huge mistake, but it doesn’t feel that way.
I’m going to my ex-lover’s psychologist mother’s office when I’m pregnant with his baby and have been lying to him about it. I’m accepting hush money after signing an NDA from his father. Okay, maybe this was a terrible idea.
Taking a step back, I think about running when the door to her main office opens. It’s her, standing in front of me, a soft smile playing on her lips.
“I was worried you would run.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, I was just about to.”
“I figured as much. Why don’t you come on inside? We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. But I do want to make sure you’re doing okay. There have been a lot of changes recently.”
There have, she’s right, but she probably doesn’t even know the half of it. “Plus, I’ve been wanting to make sure you’re doing okay since the kidnapping. That was a big deal, and I wanted to check on you.”
Why is she so damn nice? I mean, I know she’s getting paid, but God, she’s so nice. Nodding once, I move forward as she steps to the side and holds the door open for me to pass through.
“Just choose whatever seat you wish.”
Thanking her, I make my way into her office and sink down on the sofa cushion, wondering again if this was a gigantic mistake. Brenda moves into the room and walks toward her desk, grabbing a notepad that’s on top and a pen before she sits down in the chair across from me.
“Please tell me how you have been, Allison.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I hold it for a moment, then let it out slowly. “A mess,” I exhale.
“I know that in most cases, I wouldn’t know anything about you, but I have to say that Henry and Hendrick have both said you’re pregnant with another man’s baby.”
Guilt.
It instantly crawls up my throat and chokes me.
I wrap my fingers around the front of my neck and try to force myself to breathe. Short, shallow pants are all that I can muster. Her words are wrong, and I hate that because Henry told me that’s what I need to say, now I can’t tell the truth.
“Yes, they did say that,” I finally force out.
She hums as she scribbles something down. Then she lifts her gaze to meet mine. “I want you to be comfortable with whatever you wish to tell me, Allison. So, I won’t ask you any invasive questions. I’m here to talk to, to listen, and be whatever you need me to be.”
If she could be my mother-in-law, that would be absolutely amazing. But she can’t, so there’s no point in that. I take another deep breath, thankful that the guilt I was choking on has finally disappeared, for now.
“I feel guilty,” I whisper but don’t go any further.
She tilts her head to the side, her eyes never leaving mine, and I feel as if she can see directly through me. It must be a family trait and not a psychology thing because Hendrick looks at me the same way.
“For?”
“Everything,” I murmur. “Getting kidnapped, falling in love, having a baby. I feel guilty for just being here on this earth.”
“Allison,” she says, her voice soft and sweet, but that sweetness doesn’t hide the pity I hear beneath it.
That pity is there, and it is at the surface. I can see it in her gaze, too. She feels sorry for me, and if I’m just being honest, I feel sorry for myself, too, so I understand it. I am a complete mess, and there is no fixing me.
We stay in that office for well over my allotted hour appointment time, and before I walk out the door, I’ve cried more than once, but also, I feel as if I’m lighter. I’ve given Brenda some of my load, but not everything.
In fact, I focused on my kidnapping and what happened to me there, steering clear of her son, missing sex with her son, and lying about not being pregnant with said son’s baby. I just think that there are some things a mother does not need to hear, even if it’s her job.
HENDRICK
“Fuck,” Coleman hisses.
“That’s about the long and short of it,” I state.
