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Nadia: It’s official. I’m into cowboys now.
And several texts from five a.m. this morning demanding an update.
Nadia: Did you sleep with him?
Nadia: Please tell me you got laid.
Nadia: I need deets. Stat.
Nadia: Is that hot cowboy wielding the Hammer of Thor or more like Bob the Builder’s Hammer?
Nadia: OMG was he so big he split you in half and now you’re in the ER?
“It’s too early for this,” I grumble, completely ignoring the fact that it’s almost noon. I’m supposed to be at the ranch in less than an hour, slipping in right after one of the Stone brothers successfully lures Paps away so we can set up the barn for his surprise party. I can’t remember which brother drew the short straw. Only that I’m not lucky enough for it to be Ryder.
I shoot Nadia back a quick text, delivering the unfortunate news that not only am I not in the hospital but also very much not laid. I end the message with a promise to call her later and fill her in before heading downstairs to drown my sorrows in maple syrup.
“Why’s there a half circle missing out of this stack?” A circle whose edges very much resemble teeth marks. “And where’s Thor?”
“Cowering.”
Though I’ve certainly dealt with much worse when it comes to animals, I decide to cut a triangle around the bite marks and feed Thor the scraps. With any luck, the buttermilk pancakes will give him a light case of gas inside Wyatt’s patrol truck later.
“Did Everleigh make it home okay?” I ask my brother as I douse the remaining pancake scraps in an unhealthy amount of butter and syrup.
“You don’t remember us dropping her off?”
I reach for the bottle of ibuprofen sitting on the counter. How many am I medically allowed to take? “There’s a lot that’s fuzzy.”
“While you were hanging out the window in the backseat of my truck singing Madonna to the whole town, she was passed out next to you.”
My mouth drops open, and it’s not because of the forkful of pancakes wavering between the plate and my lips. “I did not.”
He pushes back his chair, carrying an empty plate and coffee mug to the sink. “I had to carry her inside while you belted out the fifth chorus of La Isla Bonita.”
“Now I know you’re lying. The chorus is only sung four times. I totally did not sing out your window.” I shove the forkful into my mouth, grinning like an idiot over the minor victory.
“Okay, so you weren’t singing. But you did flash Todd Bowler.”
I almost choke. Please, God. No more.
“The only reason I didn’t arrest you is because you still had your bra on. If you gave the poor old man a heart attack, though, that’s on you.”
“At least someone got lucky,” I grumble after a hard swallow.
“It’s not my fault you have no game.”
I stab a stack of cut-up pancakes and point the fork in Wyatt’s direction. “You would rather I had game?”
Wyatt holds up both hands in surrender. “Hey, you and Ryder are grown-ass adults. What you two do is none of my business.” His innocent expression morphs into one of mockery. “But after last night, I doubt you’re getting any from him. Or any other man in Emerald Creek.”
I grab my half-empty plate and drop it in the sink for Wyatt to deal with later. If there wasn’t so much sugary syrup, I’d feed the leftovers to Thor just to ensure my brother got gassed all day long. “You’re an asshat.”
“But I’m family, so you have to love me.”
I flip him the bird as I stalk out the kitchen door. Thankfully, my faithful Jeep is waiting to greet me like an old friend. She might be the only one who doesn’t think I’m a complete and utter embarrassment in this town right now.
It’s tempting to turn left at the stop sign at the bottom of the hill and head back to Colorado. Back to a life that makes sense. Where there is structure and less distraction. One where there aren’t any cowboys scrambling my brain. But I’d never forgive myself if I abandoned Paps on his big day, so I turn right and head to the ranch. I am a grown-ass adult after all. I just have to face the horribly off-key music that is my life.
