AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You know, you’re not so bad with kids. I was kind of expecting you to suck at it.”
I’m about to say something when my phone rings. It’s Mikey, and he’s apparently hung up in the city and wondering if we’ll stay the night at his place and put the kids to bed for him. He won’t be back until morning.
“Shit,” I say, then I explain what I just heard to Andi.
“So?” she asks. “What is it, Jesse? Afraid to spend the night with me?”
I don’t even see the point in lying, so I nod my head. “Maybe I am.”
She goes on her tiptoes and presses a fingertip between my pecs. “Well, I promise I won’t bite. I mean, unless you ask nicely.”
And just like that, I’ve returned to what seems to be my natural resting state when Andi Summers is involved. Erect and confused.
20
ANDI
We get the kids to sleep without much fuss since Meemee is already on the verge of passing out and Cade is exhausted from all the hockey he played.
I’m on the couch with my feet kicked up in Mikey’s living room. Jesse pulls open the door of the fridge and rummages. Glasses clink for a moment and then he emerges with two beer bottles. He holds a bottle toward me, eyebrows up.
“Sure,” I say, taking one. He jerks his head toward the porch door and we head outside. It’s cold, so we both bring our jackets before we take the rocking chairs on the front porch.
Outside, our breath mists in front of our faces and the wood of the chairs is freezing against my ass and back when I sit. I shiver, sip the beer, and set it on the table between us. “If I didn’t know better…” I say. “I’d think you were trying to get me cold so I’d ask you to snuggle later.”
“Actually, I’m trying to get enough alcohol in my system so I stop asking myself what the hell I’m doing here.”
“Babysitting?” I ask, even though I’m pretty sure I know that isn’t what he means.
“Sure, that. But you, too. Jake has to suspect something by now. He’s like a brother to me, and I’m going behind his back with his sister.”
“Come on,” I say. “We barely kissed.”
He eyes me. “Trust me. That’s only because I’ve demonstrated a metric fuck-ton of self-restraint.”
“Well,” I say, not quite sure how to respond to that. “Jake would be mad even if nothing was going on. He always does this. I had a few really bad relationships when I was younger. Jake was busy because he was always traveling for hockey camps and training and tournaments back then. He didn’t really know how bad it was for me until he got back for the holidays one year and kind of saw the aftermath. I think he never forgave himself for not being there. And ever since, he has been like this.”
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I can understand that. Caroline’s driven as hell. If she was less busy taking over the town and doing what she does, I can’t say I’d be doing much better than Jake in the overprotective department. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to see some asshole mistreat her. That’s why I don’t hold it against Jake. I know how hard it must be.”
“Yeah,” she says. “But even if I understand his intentions, it doesn’t mean I have to be ruled by them. Neither do you.”
He eyes me, then looks at his beer. It’s already empty. He points to my barely touched beer. “Want another?”
“Stay,” I say, touching his arm before he can get up to grab another. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to numb yourself to be with me. If the whole… officially unofficial thing we talked about is too much for you, then we don’t have to act on it. You can just talk to me. That’s fine.”
His eyes fall to my lips and he slowly shakes his head. “I don’t think you understand, Andi. I can’t just talk to you. The moment I saw you in that torn up wedding dress, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get you out of my mind. I…” he trails off, his big hands clenching on the glass until his knuckles go white. “I know I can’t keep you. But I need to have you. Tonight. Tomorrow night. As many nights as I can manage. I think that’s the only way this is going to work, though.”
I’m not sure if I’m breathing anymore. His words are rattling around in my brain, not quite sinking in. “What do you mean?”
“At night, you’re mine. During the day, it’s business as usual. That’s how this needs to work. That’s what I meant the first night on the couch. I want to fuck you, Andi. Not date you. I’m not ready to date anybody. So, that’s it. It’s all on the table now, and you can take it or leave it. No hard feelings either way.”
Apparently, he has been thinking a lot about this. All I can do is nod my head.
At night, you’re mine.
I replay those words again and again. Each time they repeat in my mind, I feel a rush of warmth that makes the cold bite in the air feel like it can’t touch me. Yes, there’s bone-numbing disappointment in his words. He doesn’t want to date me. He doesn’t want me like that. Of course he doesn’t. He just wants my body.
I want that stuff, too, though. So maybe I can take what he’s offering, even if it isn’t everything I want. Because who knows, maybe the rest will come along the way?
