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I bite my lip and shift my eyes to the dark horizon and the faint outline of forested mountains in the distance. “No hard feelings either way?” I ask after I’ve had time to think over what he said. “You mean you won’t be… feeling hard if I say I want you to fuck me, too?”
Jesse’s sharp intake of breath would make me laugh if I wasn’t having a bit of a moment myself. Instead, I just bite my lip and shrug. “It looks a lot like night out there. And if I’m supposedly yours at night, we better get–”
The next thing I know, I’m being carried cave-man style through the screened porch door and toward Mikey’s bedroom. Normally, I’d have all sorts of hygienic, moral, and practical concerns about what we’re going to do in another man’s bed. But my pounding heart and absolutely humming libido are blasting away all of it. I just want whatever he’s planning. I want him. His hands on me. His breath against my skin. His lips on mine.
I want Jesse Prince to devour and consume me. I want his touch to take over until I forget what I’m still running away from–until I don’t feel the temptation to glance over my shoulder and see if my old life has caught up with me yet.
Tonight, I’m someone else.
Tonight… I’m his.
21
JESSE
I kick the bedroom door shut behind us and the thud echoes like a starting gun. I carefully set Andi down on Mikey’s bed and wonder what that starting gun sound signifies. Is this a race toward stupidity? Simple satisfaction? Or maybe it’s just a race to the finish line, because I just laid it out for her. Sex. No more acting like we’re dating but keeping it quiet. No more confusing shit.
In the dim light, I can see the wild look in Andi’s eyes. It’s a look that tells me she may not know where this leads either, but she’s ready to be claimed.
My hands are still on her arms–my grip just firm enough to let her know my intentions. I can instantly feel the silent understanding between us in this room. Tonight, I’m the one who makes the rules. I’m the one who decides the tempo. There’s power thrumming between us with every rapid beat of my heart. It’s as fiery and addictive as it is terrifying.
“Andi,” my voice is low and steady, a counterpoint to the rapid rise and fall of her chest. “We still can’t tell Jake about this.” Normally, I know Andi would bite back. She’d tell me Jake isn’t here and this is none of his business. Maybe she’d complain that he doesn’t rule her.
Tonight, her reply is a whisper, a surrender that sends a surge of possessive satisfaction through me. “Okay.”
I lean in, my thumb tracing the line of her soft jaw and smooth skin. My eyes fall to her lips, full and pouty. She parts them, big eyes turned up to watch me and wait. The look on her face says, “I’m yours. I trust you. But please, take care of me.”
That look does something dangerous to me. It settles in my chest like a weight of responsibility, because I want that, too. I want to claim every inch of her perfect body for myself and I want to greedily keep her stashed away–mine and only mine. I don’t want to share her with my teammates or the town. I want them to all go home for the holidays while I keep this perfect woman stashed away in my cabin, ready to laugh and smile in her infectious way every time I see her.
And at the same time, I want none of that. Those are the selfish, impulsive desires she brings up in me, and those are all the reasons I’m no good for her–the exact reasons I had to draw the line at physicality.
“I want you to myself,” I breathe into the crook of her neck. I want to kiss her. I want my lips on hers to seal this unspoken pact between us. I want that dirty promise I know I shouldn’t be making. But I’m using everything I have to restrain myself–to voice my worries in whatever way I can before we take that step.
“I’m yours,” she says, fingertips sliding up the nape of my neck and into my hair. “I’m all yours, Jesse.”
Holy. Shit. I move my palm down her stomach, slipping it beneath the waistband of her jeans. It glides over the silky fabric of her panties–panties, I realize, I probably bought for her that first day she was in Frosty Harbor.
“This is all I have to offer,” I say, still pleading with her, even if I don’t want her to really hear me and back out.
“I want this, Jesse,” she whispers, eyes intent on mine. “Stop trying to talk me out of it.”
Dammit.
Her voice is a fucking siren song. It’s irresistible. It’s the pull toward a darkness I know might just swallow me up–a place I’m not ready to go. At best, this will end with my own messed up heart permanently screwed. At worst, it’ll end with me breaking her heart. There’s no happily ever after here, but what if we can just be happy for now?
I lift my face, eyes locking on hers. “I’ve been sharing you since you arrived here. In the car with Carter and Liam. At the cabin with Nolan and Maddox. Around town with the kids and the people you meet. Tonight, with Meemee and Cade. But I’ve wanted you to myself from the moment I saw you. And I have a confession…”
Her eyes catch a touch of starlight from the window, glinting in the low light of Mikey’s room. “What is it?”
“I did try to look up your wedding dress when I helped you into the truck. I didn’t have any luck, but I tried.”
She whacks my shoulder, laughing. “Jesse Prince! And I complimented you for being a gentleman.”
“Secret’s out,” I say, voice growing heavy as I lean closer to her. “I’m an asshole who doesn’t like to share. I don’t even want to share you with the night. Every breath. Every whisper. Every moan that’s about to spill out of you? They’re all mine.”
I finally kiss her and the entire room seems to contract around me the moment our lips touch. Our mouths move softly and carefully for a few seconds–each of us simply exploring the new sensations.
Her tongue slips into my mouth and the heat triggers something in me.
