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I pass the time by watching Andi when she hopefully doesn’t catch me looking. Caroline wanted me to do something today, but I can’t remember what it was, so I’m just hanging around until she realizes I’m idle and starts scolding me.
Andi has on a big green and white sweater with little ringing bells dangling from her ears. Her hair is loose around her shoulders, so dark it’s almost black. She tucks it behind her ear as she talks on the phone, giving me a view of her perfect profile. I stare at her and think about how it felt just days ago to pull her close to me and wonder if I was really going to try to make her mine.
Now, those memories are nothing but salt in a fresh wound. When I look back on the last couple weeks, I can’t put my finger on the exact moment things went wrong. I wonder if she can–if there was some deciding moment where I proved I wasn’t long-term material. Or maybe it was me who decided I wasn’t ready to commit and pushed her away.
Whatever the case, there’s a new distance between us that wasn’t there before. I still feel the same pull towards her, but for the first time, it’s like we’ve taken large steps away from each other. One more step, and I can imagine the pull of that gravity snapping under tension, spinning us both out of orbit.
Caroline walks up to my chair and kicks my shoe, which is resting on the coffee table. “Hey,” she says. “Where are your lazy teammates? They told me they were going to come help today.”
I squint. “They did?”
She plants her hands on her hips. “Final set up for the Frostival Finale? Decorations all over the harbor? Putting together a stage for the DJ? Is any of this ringing a bell in that big head of yours?” She flicks my forehead for emphasis.
I rub the spot, glaring at her. “Okay. Yeah, it sounds vaguely familiar. I don’t remember you saying you asked the guys to help.”
“Well, I did. And I told them to show up first thing in the morning. It’s…” She glances at her phone and shakes her head. “Almost ten. Don’t you guys wake up early to train? How are they this unreliable?”
“Maybe they went straight to the harbor and got started without you.”
My suggestion makes Caroline’s eyes widen in horror. “But they–they wouldn’t know where I wanted things to go. And there was a certain vision I had for…” She gives me one last horrified look, then gestures for me to follow her. “I need you to drive me to the harbor. You coming, Andi?” Caroline calls over her shoulder. “You can finish the call in the truck.”
“Um, okay.” Andi glances at me, and I don’t miss the meaning there, even if I don’t understand it.
She trails behind us, one finger in her ear while she occasionally mutters an acknowledgment into the phone. She gets in the back and we make the short drive to the harbor.
“Shit,” Caroline hisses as we pull up on the hill overlooking the ice.
Sure enough, Jake, Liam, Maddox, Carter, and Nolan are all out there decorating. Jake and Liam are literally scratching their heads in front of the partially assembled stage. Jake is holding a drill. He points without as much confidence as you’d like to see from a man holding power tools, then kneels and starts screwing two pieces of wood together.
Carter has a string of lights in his hands, which he’s holding while slowly turning in a circle, as if the correct place to put them is going to jump out and smack him in the face.
Nolan and Maddox are wrestling for some reason while their sneakers slip on the ice. Right as we’re getting out of the car, Maddox whoops in victory and both men spin, smashing down on the ice with Maddox on top. Nolan yells something obscene.
Caroline sticks her fingers in her mouth and whistles loudly. “Boys!” She shouts.
The guys look up at her.
“What the hell is going on?” she asks.
Carter smiles. “We thought we’d surprise you and just get it done.”
“Get it done?” she asks as we carefully pick our way down the snow-covered slope leading to the ice.
I fall behind and see Andi has ended her phone call. The guys are pleading their case as Caroline lays into them in the background.
“Hey,” I say.
“Hi.” Andi tucks her hair behind her ear, only holding my gaze for a split second before she stares at her feet.
“Sorry,” I say, not really sure where I’m going with this. “About things,” I add stupidly.
“Yeah,” she agrees.
“It has been kind of crazy.” I hear myself talking and I wonder if Andi realizes my words carry almost no meaning. I’m just spinning my wheels while I hope something magically gets traction–only I can’t say if I’m planning to use that traction to pull apart once and for all or to say fuck it and try to get back to her.
“I talked to Landon last night about the job,” she says, finally raising her eyes to meet mine.
I nod and hope she can’t see the way the thought of her talking to him twists my stomach. I can feel her drifting out of my reach and I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do if I want to stop it from happening. It’s maddening. It’s all happening in slow motion, but it feels like my brain isn’t working properly, either. It’s like I’m in a dream, or a nightmare. “That’s good,” I mutter.
