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“Jesus Christ, Nicola!” Nicky shouts in Japanese, striding quickly towards me as he starts to steer me out of the room.
I only put up a little bit of a fight, digging my heels in until I hear Tillie over the speakers, “Would you love me no matter what?” Logan replies with “Always,” and my job here is done. She’s safe and damn happy, as far as I can tell from the screams coming through the speakers. I grab Evan’s arm and pull him with me as Nicky walks us fasterto the door. Once out in the hallway, Tillie’s sounds of pleasure cut off as the surveillance room door shut behind us.
“Thank fuck,” Evan mutters under his breath as his shoulders sag in relief.
He pushes his sexy glasses up his nose and grins at me with his Darth Vader helmet under his arm. So hot. I’m going to have him wear that later when I’m giving him a blowjob. Ugh. I can totally picture him using Daddy Darth's voice to tell me he’s my daddy.
The force of his orgasm will be strong.
I’m stuck daydreaming and shake my head when I see Nicky towering over my boyfriend.
“You got a problem with hearing my girl get fucked?” Nicky growls like a straight-up Neanderthal.
I quickly get between them, pushing on my big brother’s chest, and flick him on the nose. He glares and takes a step back, crossing his arms with that annoying look on his face that says he’s going to kill someone.
He’s so weird.
“I could only handle singing Baby Shark Do Do Do so much before I lost my mind. It’s not easy blocking out all the noise going on in there, but I managed to.” Evan stands up straighter, looking my brother in the eye without blinking, even though sweat is dripping down Evan’s forehead the longer they stare at each other.
That’s hot. He’s totally getting a blowie after we get out of here for standing up to my overbearing brother.
Nicky narrows his eyes even more then he grunts before turning his gaze to me.
That’s it. All is good now. Men are weird.
“Check in with me, keep your phone on you, and don’t go home,” Nicky grumbles, his facial expression worried, ashe pulls me into a hug with a tight squeeze before letting me go.
My eyes water as I watch him disappear back into the room with the other guys. Nicky has always looked out for me. He shielded me from the harshness of the world we were born into and took the wrath of my father, so I was never harmed. My brother tried his hardest to keep me out of the way, and I pretended ignorance to appease him. I knew from an early age just how cruel our father was. I saw everything. Every beating Nicky received left bruises that he tried to hide from me and act like he wasn’t in pain. The coming and going of evil men into our homes. The women would go into a building and not return. The dead look in my mother’s eyes as she would quietly leave the room when my father became mad, letting his anger lash at Nicky.
I see it all, and it hurts so fucking much, knowing my brother suffers at the hands of our father. I lay in guilt at night, wondering what I can do to stop it all, but I sometimes think I’m weak like our mother. I never fight back because I’m afraid I’ll end up like those girls who just disappear once they come across the Triad. It all makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs and put a bullet through Jin’s skull.
Maybe I can.
I can be strong and brave like Nicholas. Maybe it’s finally my turn to protect him.
“Hey. What are you thinking about so hard over there?” Evan questions me as he drapes his arm over my shoulder while leading me out of the house and down the driveway to his car.
“Do you have a gun?” He jolts against me, startled by my answer, and looks into my eyes with his head tilted as his glasses slide down his nose.
Sexy, but in a nerdy way. I’m here for it.
I fidget in my seat the moment my butt hits the smooth leather. I’m trying to stay in control so my Tourette’s doesn’t get out of control as I watch him calmly shut my car door and round the hood.
He doesn’t say anything as he starts the car and pulls out of the gate. His brows are pinched together in worry as he struggles to give me an answer. I end up smacking my arm repeatedly, not meaning to, as I become increasingly nervous the longer he’s silent. My head twitches to the right in a tick that won’t stop. Feeling his hand suddenly in mine helps my heart rate slow down, and I eventually can turn my head to look at him as the ticks decrease.
“I have a concealed weapon. I’m just worried about why you're asking,” Evan says, stroking his thumb back and forth over my wrist.
I won’t ever lie to him. He’s a good guy. He doesn’t deserve deception from me. I sometimes wonder if love is worth dragging him into my dangerous world and if I’m only setting him up to get hurt or, worse, killed.
Love is funny that way. It can be selfish and hurt to the core because we don’t want to lose the one good thing in our lives.
I guess I’m rotten, like Jin. I can’t see my life without Evan’s hand in mine.
“I’m going to kill my father. For Nicky and for myself,” I say casually with a shrug like it’s no big deal, but my palms sweat at just the thought of doing it.
Could I pull the trigger when the time came?
I don’t know, but I have to try.
