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“I thought we were being kept here because the First Flight always guards the capital. Apparently, that’s not the case anymore. I’m at an utter loss.”
“I’ll find out what’s going on,” Nyx promised. I thought he might go now and demand answers despite the hour. But Kol continued as if he hadn’t spoken.
“How can we face an enemy none of us know? How can we send our best flyers to a place where a hundred fae disappeared in two days? Aren’t we just throwing lives away?” Kol’s voice stuttered.
Nyx didn’t reply but hugged Kol.
He had to be at a loss for words.
“I have to go. I have to get things ready?—”
Nyx grabbed his face with both hands, cutting him off. “I will go to Octavian and insist we have armies and another flight staged close by before you’re sent in. You have me. I won’t let anything happen to you, no matter what it takes.”
My breath hitched. It was too much risk. Nyx would risk their secret to make sure his brother wasn’t in danger.
This was like watching a disaster unfold in front of my eyes, and there was nothing I could do.
Nyx left to get answers from the war room. He was convinced the order was given in the dead of night so that they would be gone before he knew about it. But that had failed, so he wasn’t going to let them go without putting up a fight.
Kol went to his rooms to pack, and I paced mine, guilt eating me alive.
A knock at my door came as the night sky was showing the first signs of a distant dawn. I threw it open, finding Kol, with a bag at his feet.
He reached for my hand and pressed something into my palm. “If I die?—”
“Don’t you dare say that!” I snapped.
“Zaria, I have to live in reality.”
“By the Goddess, I swear, you do not get to go into this thinking you will die. If you do that, the Goddess may fulfill your wish.”
Kol closed his eyes. “Please keep this for me. Please. I won’t say anymore, but if I don’t come back, give it to Nyx.”
I took the small, folded message with Kol’s seal and turned it in my hands.
A tear rolled down my cheek. “Okay.”
“Put it away. Do not tell him or anyone else I did this.” He looked into my eyes, more serious than I’d ever seen him. Tears swam in his eyes, too. “Promise me.”
“I promise.”
He pulled me into his arms, and I pressed my face into his neck, unable to stop my sob. “What am I going to do without you here?”
“Nyx will protect you.” He didn’t release me.
“I’m not worried about him protecting me,” I said indignantly. “You are my best friend.” My first real friend, I realized as I said it. I’d had Luka, but that had been different; he’d always wanted more than I could give.
Kol pulled back enough to look into my eyes. “I am?”
I nodded through my tears. “My first. My only. So, I can’t lose you.”
Kol’s face broke out in a smile. “I’ll do my best.”
“No!” I smacked his solid chest.
“No?
“Do better. You have to come home.”
