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Once in my bedroom, I opened the top drawer of my dresser, searching for the small black velvet box I kept hidden in there. I opened it up and removed the rosary chain I hadn’t touched since giving up my life in New York two years ago. It’d been Bianca’s. She’d been a devout Catholic like our mom. Rarely missing mass unless it was for work.
After tightening my hand around the necklace, my eyes fell to the same beaded rosary tattooed on my forearm. Bianca’s initials were in script beneath the cross, and memories from my past burned through my mind. I nearly took a knee as the pain robbed me of the breath from my lungs.
It took a text from my brother to shake me free from whatever zoned-out state I’d fallen into, and I stored the rosary back where it belonged and read my brother’s message.
Alessandro: How’d last night go?
I dropped onto my bed, my gaze moving to the mirror over the dresser for a moment, catching sight of my tired eyes. How’d Maria function during the day waking up so many times in the middle of the night to put Chiara back to sleep? I was beat from one night of doing it.
Me: Why are you up so early? I thought you rolled into the office after nine.
Alessandro: Dodging my question, I see.
Me: It didn’t go as expected.
Alessandro: Because you did or didn’t kill someone?
Me: I played babysitter while she went on a date. Then she came home and I ...
I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to divulge, particularly over text. My brother must’ve read my thoughts, because the phone rang a second later, and he placed us on FaceTime. “Are you on a stair climber?” That drew an unexpected laugh from me.
“It’s good cardio.”
“What, having sex with two women last night wasn’t enough cardio for you?” I glared at him, his white tee and hair soaked in sweat. Out of all of us Costa kids, Alessandro’s complexion was the lightest, and he had sandy-brown hair and silvery-gray eyes. Features that kids used to tease him about when growing up were the same ones that women flocked to him for now. Well, among other reasons.
“Nah, you know how it is. Sex doesn’t scratch the itch. Not after the lives we’ve lived.”
“And the stair climber does?” I couldn’t help but smile, but at least he was changing my mood.
“Gets my heart going is about all.” My brother stopped the machine and swiped a towel over his face. He had his own personal gym inside his penthouse in New York, so there was no risk of anyone overhearing our conversation. “But nothing can replace—”
“That’s messed up, you know that, right?” I cut him off. “We shouldn’t miss that life.”
“The way you’re throwing a ‘we’ has me shocked, bro. I thought you didn’t miss anything about New York.” He took a moment to drain his water bottle in a few deep gulps. “Well, aside from us. I mean, you miss us, right?”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course I miss you guys. But my being here and living a normal, so-called healthy life makes Mom and Izzy happy.”
“You’re Mom’s baby boy. Her favorite. She never pushed me to move from the city and start new.”
“Screw you, man,” I teased. “Mom just felt bad for me.”
“We all lost a sister, not just you,” Alessandro shot back, and yeah, of course I knew that, but it was different for me in a way that I couldn’t explain. A twin thing, I supposed.
“Anyway,” he said, realizing we both needed a subject change before our moods went dark. “Tell me about the whole you-playing-the-role-of-Mrs.-Doubtfire thing.”
I stood and went to the window and opened the blinds, allowing the morning sun to wash the room in natural light.
“Because it sounds like you’re the one needing to get laid, brother.”
“Oh, really? And meaningless sex is doing wonders at fixing your life, I see,” I punched back, eyes still on the window.
Alessandro waited for me to look back at the camera before responding, “Pretty sure it wouldn’t be meaningless for you.”
Yeah, he was right about that.
“So tell me. Is her date still alive? Need help taking care of him? I can bail on the meeting with Constantine later and hop down there for an assist if you need one.”
My brother really did miss the hunt, didn’t he? And part of me did, too. I just didn’t want to admit it, and certainly not to him on this call.
