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He leveled me with a hard look. “Don’t be the devil again. Be the man you were with Delta. That’s the guy I want to roll with on this. I’m a father now, and if we don’t stop whatever may go down, my wife’s and son’s lives could be at stake. I need a Tier One operator at my side, not a man criminals fear.”
I closed my eyes, registering his words one by one. The message, and the but coming, knowing in this case it wouldn’t be bullshit with the follow-up.
“You’re distracted. From personal experience, I know what that can do on an op.”
I opened my eyes and nodded in understanding. Message received.
“But, Carter, when this is over, don’t fuck things up with her because you’re worried you’re bad for her, or too dangerous. Everyone’s entitled to forgiveness and second chances, so my wife says, at least. Not that I think you need it.” He opened the door, then faced me. “That girl in there deserves to be happy, and my guess is you’d make her that way. You owe it to yourself to be happy, too.”
“I’ll always have a target on my head, wanted list or not,” I reminded him of my harsh reality.
“Yeah, well, just because I need the old you back for this mission, doesn’t mean your persona as an intimidating motherfucker everyone fears has to change. And no one, and I mean no one, would touch that man’s girl.”
48
DIANA
“Did you hear us?” Carter asked as he locked the door. “I wouldn’t blame you if you were listening in.”
“No, I didn’t eavesdrop.” I sat next to Dallas on the king-sized bed, waiting for him to face me.
When Mya and I couldn’t find a room with two beds earlier, she’d said, “Carter will want to sleep with you tonight, anyway. You two should have the biggest room and also be far away from everyone.” I didn’t mind her implication one little bit, either.
A girl could only hope.
“I trust if there’s something important for you to share with me, you will,” I added when he’d yet to respond or turn.
As much as I wanted to get up and go to him, I was too weighed down by worry. Could I truly stop an EMP weapon if it was detonated?
Continuing to pet Dallas, I waited as patiently as possible for Carter to give me his attention. Something new must’ve been eating at him, and I wasn’t so sure I could handle any more bombs being dropped. I was also reconsidering my thoughts on if time travel was possible, because we kept dipping into too many “yesterdays” for it not to be.
Finally pushing away from the door, he raked his hands into his hair while turning. “Maybe trusting me is the last thing you should—” He bowed his head. “That’s the shit I need to stop saying if I’m ever going to change, damnit.”
Those words sent me springing into action, propelling me to my feet. I slowly ate up the space between us, waiting for him to go on, wondering if we were about to pick back up on one of our unfinished conversations from the jet.
He appeared to have showered since we’d arrived. New clothes as well. His short sleeves gave me the opportunity to appreciate the tattoos on his arms. I hesitantly reached out and traced the outline of a dagger inside his right forearm.
“I want to be a better man for you. Maybe for me, too.” Eyes slowly journeying to my face, he added, “I’d say what I’m feeling for you is too soon, but it also feels like a decade too late.” That deep tone grounded me in place, and my fingers went still on his arm.
I tucked his words away somewhere safe so I could hold on to them forever, in case he did abandon me someday. I hated to think like that, but he was right. These feelings were as new as they were old, and I wasn’t sure how to articulate how I felt either. Maybe there’d never be an explanation because our connection wasn’t of this world.
“Not too late.” I slid my fingers away from his arm and over to my own wrist. I pushed up the sleeve of my sweatshirt to reveal the double helix intertwined with the tree of life tattooed there. “Time in the grand scheme of things is limitless. Eternal.”
In one swift movement, he captured my waist and brought me flush to his body, the floor momentarily falling away beneath me. The man could literally sweep me off my feet.
Hands to his chest, chin tipped up, I asked, “What’s going on in your mind? Where does it hurt? What exactly is hurting you? How can I help make it better?” I hadn’t meant to unleash a flurry of questions, but I could feel his pain radiating through and from him like an electric current.
“Everything hurts, all the time.” His brows pulled together. “Except when I’m with you.”
His raspy confession pulled the air from my lungs, and when I pressed up on my toes to get even closer to him, he met me halfway.
Our lips fused. Tongues met. Souls interlocked. Forget a prince waking a princess with a kiss, this man made me feel like an immortal with one.
“Diana,” he grated out, breaking away too soon. “We can’t. Not now.” He held on to my arms, meeting my eyes.
I didn’t press for a reason. It was obvious. We had a mission, and I was very much part of it.
“My teammates have families. I made a promise to Griffin I’d keep focused. I can’t be reckless.” He held on to my arms as if worried I might fly away. When would he understand, the only place I’d go is back to him. “After this is over, I’d like to try, though. I never thought it’d ever be possible for us, but maybe it is?” He steadied his gaze on me and chills coasted over my skin.
