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“You want to try to be with me?” Not try to push me away again. No more talk of how you’re too dark, too dangerous?
“I obviously have issues, but if you think there’s a chance you may . . .”
Oh God, sensitive Carter was even better than the broody, sexy version. “I want you,” I said as clearly as possible. I needed him to hear me, loud and clear. Know it in his heart. “I have no conditions.”
He set his forehead to mine, his breath fanning across my face. “Where the fuck have you been all of my life?”
“It wasn’t our time then. And I suppose it won’t be until we finish the mission.” I hated that part, but if something went sideways, and he blamed our relationship as a distraction, I knew he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to either. “I just need to figure out a way to either stop an attack or reverse its effects if used.” I forced a shrug. “No biggie.”
His smile touched my lips. “Whatever you need, I’ve got your back. I’m here for you. I’m not so great at physics, but if you need me to crunch some numbers or throat punch a guy, I’m your man.”
My tongue peeked between my lips to catch his before I could stop it from happening. He captured my tongue right back, and the light groans from each of us mingled as one.
“I’m too tired to be this close to you and not kiss you.”
“Hence the kisses now?” I murmured, almost dreamily, swept up in the seductive haze of our desire.
“Mmmhmm.” I melted into his touch as his fingers tangled up my hair, drawing me in closer. Another hot kiss before he said in a husky voice, “I’m not leaving you in this room alone tonight. But can we share a bed without my cock sliding inside you?”
“Talk about missions being impossible.” The fact I could make a joke at a time like this was as comforting as it was concerning. I was also soaking wet and aching for him. One touch and I’d go off like a bottle rocket. How would we survive the week (or God forbid longer) without having sex? Fate of the world, I had to remind myself. Fate of the freaking world hanging on my very tired and tense shoulders. “We should stop kissing, then.”
“Yeah,” he said against my lips, not backing down yet. “I just don’t have the energy to stop myself from taking what I want.”
I rotated my hips, feeling how hard he was, and he arched into me, pulling my hair even tighter. “You’re not too fatigued below the belt, so it would seem.”
“I have a permanent hard-on around you, angel.” We were already failing miserably at our plan. “We should work, though.” He let me go and backed away, tearing a hand through his hair while dragging his thumb along the line of his lips with the other.
Dallas’s little yelp reminded me we had company.
“I should call Zoey and Camila, then I need to check in with Secretary Chandler to see about the old case files surrounding Rebecca’s death.” His tone turned more reserved, clearly doing his best to regroup, likely hoping it would help me do the same. “I doubt their files will connect Rebecca’s death to the plane crash, or I would’ve heard about that long ago. Doesn’t mean it’s not true, just that they didn’t find anything.”
I nodded, then realized . . . “Wait, who’s Zoey? Camila?”
“Camila’s the only family I have outside the team. Not by blood, but she’s like a sister. You, uh, may have met her at the funeral. She helped your mom organize it for me.”
“Ohh, I think I do remember her.” Super sweet. Kind eyes. Gorgeous.
“Camila’s off-the-grid right now, but we have an emergency method of getting ahold of one another. It’ll probably be twelve or so hours until she gets the message, but she may be able to help us. She’s not only in the security sector herself, but she has . . . visions.”
“Visions?” I arched a brow, curious for him to elaborate.
“Sometimes she can see things that haven’t happened yet.” He ran his hand along his bladed jawline, smoothing a palm over the facial hair that’d deliciously prickled against my skin when he’d kissed me. “Sounds wild, I know. Not sure if I even want to know the future, though.”
It isn’t wild to me, and it sounds like we could use her help. “Why don’t you want to see the future?”
“Because what if you’re not in mine,” he said bluntly.
I closed the gap between us, lacing our fingers together and brought our hands over my heart. “That’s for us to decide, not someone else.” I wished he’d smile, or show me some indication he believed me, but the worried expression I could see even without my glasses didn’t fade away. Assuming he’d prefer to move on to a new subject, I asked, “What about Zoey?”
He squeezed my hand.
Okay, not the best sign.
“She was MI6. We worked a case together, and her fiancé was killed.” He lowered his eyes to our locked hands. “I was searching for his killer the night Rebecca was murdered.”
I remembered him telling me he’d been on the phone with Rebecca when she’d been killed. Now I knew why he’d been away. Everything kept clicking together like a puzzle I wasn’t so sure I wanted to solve.
“Zoey and I stayed in touch over the years. Not exactly friends, but we’ve worked together here and there since,” he went on when I’d yet to formulate the right words. “She should know what’s going on, and maybe she can help.” He returned his attention to my face, and there was something in his expression that felt almost apologetic as he studied me.
