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And when he found out about my certain tastes in the bedroom, he forbade me from ever going anywhere near his sister. Not that I had expressed interest in Zoe to him, but suddenly, being a dominant mask player with primal urges made her off-limits. Though, I believe Aaron hates the idea of Zoe dating altogether. He's protective and doesn't want her to experience any more pain, especially considering everything she's gone through. So, I promised to maintain my distance because I cared about our friendship, and deep down, I was relieved, knowing Zoe could never have her heart broken by my hands. That I could play a role in guarding the one truly precious thing in this world.
I've lingered on the sidelines, observing... seizing moments and stealing glances whenever the opportunities arose because that's the extent of what this could ever become. They were stolen moments within an invisible realm I'd constructed.
A fantasy forever stuck in a dream state.
The cold December wind cuts through the deserted streets of Boston suburbia as snowflakes dance in the air, transforming the dark street into a glistening wonderland. The sound of my footsteps crunching on the cold pavement linger in the night, reminding me that half the world is asleep. Amidst the stillness, I push forward, my pulse quickening the closer I get to her. It’s as if my body can sense her presence drawing near. The excitement growing stronger, louder with every step.
I secure the black, disposable mask I found in my drawer from a couple years ago. The stale scent of dust permeates through the cloth, reminding me of how much time has passed since I’ve last seen Zoe. It’s been years. I barely look the same.
With measured steps, I quicken my pace, my heart beating anxiously in my chest, counting down the seconds until I set my sights on her while remaining hidden in the shadows.
The familiar Jackson brick home is nestled in a quiet corner of a dead-end street, shrouded in tall trees and shadows. I shove my body behind some trees in the back, seeking out one particular window in the corner of the home, hoping Zoe is home.
Anticipation courses through my skin, setting every nerve on edge.
This was a mistake. Being here only amplifies my desire for her. Time did little to diminish my longing for Zoe, it’s never been a factor for me.
You have to stay away. That’s the only way.
Ignoring the voice in my head, I focus my eyes on her room which is shrouded in darkness. No light or movements. Pulling out my phone, I notice it’s close to three in the morning. She’s either out or passed out already. But I have a feeling she’s not home. Zoe always used to sleep with some sort of night-light. And if she’s not asleep in her bed with her light on, then where the fuck is she?
My thoughts scatter at the sight of headlights rounding the corner, halting in front of her house. A couple of minutes later, Zoe steps out of the car. She turns, waving to the driver, and it’s as if the world takes a pause. My breath catches in my throat as I take in the sight of her. Golden tendrils of hair cascade around her in flawless curls, framing her face like a halo, even in the darkness of the night. From where I’m standing, I can see the faint, rosy hue on her cheeks and her full, crimson lips.
Zoe was always a thing of beauty, but this version of her reeks of pure sophistication, heightened by the form-fitting black dress she’s wearing. Her black coat is draped over her shoulders, its buttons abandoned as if she was in a hurry to leave.
I wonder where she was tonight. Who she was with. I wonder if I got close enough to her, if she would smell like another man. Why does the thought of another man touching her make me want to hurt someone? Break fingers? Zoe is not mine to keep or control. I have no right to feel this way, but I can’t help this possessiveness toward her.
She belongs to me. She’s always belonged to me.
I watch as her delicate fingers fumble in her handbag, searching for her keys. The flickering streetlight kisses her cheeks as shadows dance around her. She’s still such an enigma to me, and with every movement, she commands my thoughts and attention. She is a siren who calls to me, and no matter where I am, I will always come for her.
She can never hide from me.
Resting against a chilled tree, I watch her vanish into the house, only to reemerge a few minutes later in her bedroom. As she shuts the door behind her, the soft glow of the lamp on her bedside table flickers to life. My heart aches with a type of longing I don’t understand. I wish I could be inside that room with her, holding her, touching her, kissing her. I want her in more ways than one, but instead of experiencing any of that, I stand here like a fucking psychopath, watching her. Guarding her and wishing I could protect her from the world. But we have always been fated for nothing more than this—stolen moments in the shadows, where she’s oblivious to my very existence and how I feel about her.
Does she even think of me still? Do I ever cross her mind?
With each passing moment, the chill of the winter night seeps deeper into my bones. But the cold doesn’t bother me, not against the fire raging in my soul. I carry the weight of a million unspoken words, never having the courage to obtain the one thing I truly want. I’m a coward who’s afraid of getting too close, and it’s in these moments that I regret the choices of my past. Fearful of losing the only people who've made me feel a sense of belonging, I choose to observe her from afar rather than risk losing them both. I made peace with this choice long ago, and I have to stay on course.
I’ll do what I’ve always done, remaining far away, a solitary guardian of her happiness.
CHAPTER 9
ZOE
The car slows down as we approach the iron gates. Two cameras point directly at the vehicle as the gates creak open, revealing a long, winding driveway lined with towering trees. My heart drums in my chest as I quickly glance down at my phone for the millionth time, trying to decide if I should order the driver to turn around. My anxiety over all of this is killing me tonight.
I want to be here. I’ve been wanting to do this for so long. This wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision, so why am I having cold feet now? I’m overthinking it.
Tonight, I’m free to do whatever my heart desires. As long as I can find a compatible and willing partner, someone trustworthy and willing to play along, I want to dip my toes properly into the BDSM world. Find out if reality is just as good as fantasy.
Once I enter this place, I will no longer be Zoe Jackson, the girl who is struggling to hold it together. I don’t feel shame for my kinks or the deep-rooted desires I crave. I’m choosing to hide behind an elegant dress and a mask, taking on a new identity, a stronger woman who takes pleasure in exploring her wild side. There is no shame in that, only beauty.
Freedom to give in to temptation and every dark fantasy.
The car continues forward as I tilt my head, looking up at the full moon glowing in the dark sky, knowing the night is just beginning. I can’t wait to find out what’s waiting for me inside the mansion we’re approaching.
The fact that I went through an extensive vetting process and received an exclusive invitation for tonight makes me feel more at ease about showing up here alone. This masquerade ball has been months in the making, and I’m lucky to be here.
