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“Afraid so.”
She bites her bottom lip, dragging the edge out in between her teeth. “Can I do anything to change your mind?”
A blow job?
But I don’t say that, because if I do, this girl will blow me in the bathroom and Axel will find out. Then he won’t speak to me for a week, and I’ll likely get shoved into the barricades two hundred times during practice. And that would just be annoying.
Not to mention the fact that I don’t really care to see anyone’s lips wrapped around my cock unless it’s Zoe kneeling down in front of me.
I wish I could just fucking stop wanting her.
I need to get her out of my mind, even if it’s for a short time.
Making a last-minute decision and ignoring the knots in my chest, I turn to face the pretty brunette.
“What did you have in mind?”
With a smile, she intertwines her fingers with mine and gently guides me away from the bustling room.
CHAPTER 20
DOMINIK
If I could go back in time, there is one decision I would definitely change. Right now, there is no one who despises me more than I despise myself.
A sudden gust of wind smacks the back of my head, almost as if the universe is echoing my thoughts. It feels like a force pushing me forward. Looking back, I realize I should have followed my initial instinct of leaving the party early.
I feel nauseous.
Numbing my emotions by burying myself in another woman was a terrible idea. I thought I would feel better from a temporary escape, but the entire time, I was picturing Zoe. The way her soft skin felt on mine, the taste of peppermint on her lips, the way her body fit perfectly against mine, as if she were made for me. The taste of her and the intense pleasure my primal beast got from leaving bite marks all over her sweet skin.
And the more I tried not to think about her tonight, the worse it got. Images blurred into one another until I got lost in the frenzy of it all, forgetting who was beneath me. What pulled me out was the woman screaming out “Dominator” as she came.
It nearly shoved me out of my skin. As soon as she finished, I didn’t bother getting off as I yanked on my pants and ran out of there.
I need to forget about Zoe, that night, and everything it awoke inside me.
Maybe Coach was onto something. Perhaps I do need a substantial break from women for a while. Both my body and mind could use the reprieve, and it would offer me the opportunity to channel all my energy into hockey.
Tonight was a stark reminder that the women I have been pleasing aren’t the one I truly desire. Despite pushing through, I found myself envisioning Zoe—her golden hair almost sparkling as it catches the light just right. Her jade eyes, piercingly intense, as if capable of revealing every hidden secret in my mind. I pictured her smiling up at me, that small dimple forming in the corner of her mouth when she laughs.
That’s enough.
Is it though? Because it’s never been enough, not with Zoe, and now she’s in NYC. Living right under my nose. In my space. Our space.
Easily accessible for me to watch her.
She’s Aaron’s little sister. Off-limits to you.
He expects me to assist her in acclimating to life in New York City. I’ll be there, a silent spectator, as she introduces a new guy to her brother. I’ll witness her making choices that don’t involve me, possibly getting married and starting a family. The mere idea of someone else standing beside her, sharing a life that should be mine, fractures everything inside me.
It was always supposed to be me at her side, holding her hand, walking alongside her.
Because I am the one who truly sees her. Embracing every hidden part of her mind, every dark corner. That’s what draws me to her, even though she believes those aspects should be kept in the shadows of shame. I yearn to hold her hand as she peels away all the masks she wears, revealing her authentic self, and gains the confidence she truly deserves, even on her most challenging days. She’s fucking magnificent, and it feels like it should be me walking alongside her throughout life.
But we won’t even get a beginning.
After all these years, I still can’t fathom why Aaron has such a strong grip on her. Why wouldn’t he want his best friend to wholeheartedly take care of her? Does he fear I’ll abandon her just like their parents have her entire life? Because the truth is, I’d sooner cut out my own heart and toss it onto the ice in front of a packed stadium than ever consider doing that to Zoe. She means way too much to me.
