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Gritting my teeth, I hold my tongue. “Care to expand on that?”
I expect Aaron to meet me with a similar wrath, but he doesn’t. He never loses his cool. He leans his hands on the back of the sofa and stares at me dead in the face.
“You know exactly what I’m referring to, Dominik. And I hope you never took it too far.”
“For fuck’s sake, Aaron. You know I would never do that. Especially not with women I meet at parties. That type of shit requires commitment and trust.”
“I know. And I’m sorry for bringing it up, but I just needed to be sure.”
“I haven’t done anything like that in a long time.”
He nods, and I drop my head, needing to tamp down my anger over all of this.
Sex hasn’t meant much to me in a long time. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that lately, it’s only made me feel more alone. It’s always the same exchange, just with a different face. How could I find meaning in random hookups after that night in Boston?
And now, I’m sitting here, dealing with this problem that I created only to try to forget her. Erase the feel of her from my body, as if that’s even possible.
“None of these women even care about me. They just want the experience and the trophy to tell their friends about later.”
Aaron is carefully watching me, deciphering my words as if they are coded in Egyptian hieroglyphics. He’s always analyzing, calculating body language and hidden meaning behind words.
“I’m sure they have wanted to break down your walls, but you won’t let them. You and your twenty rules. Have you ever considered going on a date for once in your life?”
I groan, running my hand through my hair and wishing Tristan would arrive already so we can resolve this and I can get the hell out of here.
“I don’t want to go on dates. I’m not interested.”
“And why not?” Aaron fires back.
“Why don’t you go on any fucking dates, Aaron? Get off my case.”
He raises his hands in the air to surrender, and I finally take a deep breath.
“Our careers are screwing us in the ass.”
The ding of the elevator has me standing, facing the long entryway as Tristan finally comes to the rescue.
“About damn time,” Aaron retorts, heading for the kitchen.“Drink?” he asks me, and I shake my head. “I’ll get you one. You’re going to need it.”
Exasperated, I sit back and cradle my head in my hands. Praying to a God I don’t believe in to help me get rid of this problem.
“I’ve got to hand it to you, man. Out of everyone, I really didn’t think you’d find yourself in a PR mess like this. ‘Dominik Lewis: Dominator and fuckboy’ just doesn’t mesh well,” Tristan announces, laughing like this is a joke.
Maybe asking for their help was a bad idea. “If neither one of you plans on actually helping me, you can both fuck right off.”
Something soft hits my face, and I flinch, catching the throw pillow before it falls onto the floor.
“Don’t be a dick. We both left work early to come here for you, and I have an idea, but I need a drink first,” Tristan says.
I watch as Aaron and Tristan exchange a few words, smiling casually as they make drinks. I wish I could be as calm as them, but then again, it’s not their careers and lives on the line. It’s mine, and I have every reason to want to panic right now. Hockey is the only thing I care about, and if Coach pulls me off…
I can’t let that happen.
Tristan is in a gray suit today. His auburn hair is slicked back, perfectly in place like always. Even New York’s strong winter winds don’t seem to stand a chance. Both Aaron and Tristan take great pride in looking their best at all hours of the day. Maybe it has something to do with their professional careers, or maybe they just have sticks up their asses. Meanwhile, I’m the sloppy athlete with the mop on my head and tattoos all over my body. They fit together, and I don’t. Maybe if I hadn’t met Aaron in high school, I wouldn’t be sitting here.
Tristan has always been an enigma to me. The guy has so much money, he doesn’t even know what to do with it, yet he’s frugal as hell and annoyingly down-to-earth. He is smart but plays dumb, purposely walking in the shadows. He is the only one who thrives, and even seems to outshine, in complete darkness. He loves to move in silence, and I admire him so much for it. He’s like Batman. He keeps to himself, loves to play video games, and he makes smart financial decisions. He is level-headed and never shows his cards. I don’t know how he does it. Sometimes it feels like he’s Artificial Intelligence and we’re just part of his experiment. Even though Aaron and I are his closest friends, there are so many things he hides from us. I just wish the guy would let down his guard once in a while. Maybe he only does with Aaron. Who knows?
I’m overthinking every aspect of my life right now. Usually, I’m not this self-conscious, but this entire ordeal is messing with my head. These guys are like my family, and no matter our circumstances, we always show up for one another.
