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One of his arms is on the armrest,the other casually thrown over the backboard. I should hate themanspreading, but he looks so relaxed and so male. I’m mesmerizedby how much space he takes up and how comfortable he is, and howthe lights and shades from the TV dance on his face. It’s gettingreally hard not to hurl myself at him.
I need to get out of this trance.Luckily, just opening my mouth usually kills the magic.
“When’s the last time you hadsex?” I ask point-blank, because it's totally in context andtotally appropriate.
“What?” He winces, and clicks theremote to pause the movie. “Why?”
“Just curious.”
“Uh. Dunno. Sometime before Imoved to Madison. Maybe four, five months ago? Why?”
“Do you miss it?”
“Of course I miss it. Why are youasking me this?”
“I mean, you hang out with me hereall the time. That’s not conducive to finding someone to have sexwith.”
“Well, you hang out with me, too.Why aren’t you going out to find—as you said—‘strange men’to sleep with?”
“I like hanging out with you.”
“Well, I like hanging out withyou, too.”
“More than looking for pussy?”
“Much more. Roxie, where is thiscoming from?”
“I don’t know. You’re a guy, andyou seem content to spend all your free time with me.”
“And this is a problem for somereason?”
“Are you gay?”
“Jesus. No, I’m not gay. What hasgotten into you?”
“Then do you have a low sexdrive?” Why the hell did I ask him that? What is wrong withme?
I can see anger and something likehurt in his eyes. He’s about to leap off the sofa, but cannotbecause he’s covered in cats. It’s both hilarious and touching howcarefully he moves the furballs off himself to avoid disturbingthem.
“No, I do not have a lowsex drive,” he spits out as he finally gets up. “But you areobviously in a weird mood today and dead-set on provoking somethingout of me, so it’s probably best for me to leave.” He rounds thesofa and stands in the no man's land between the living and diningareas. I get up and do the same.
“I just don’t understand why yousit here with me every day instead of looking for sex,” I say. “Ora girlfriend, since you’re a relationship guy.”
He rolls his eyes and groans. “Ilike spending time with you. Why is that so hard tounderstand? I thought you liked spending time with me, too.”
“I do, but you’re a guy.”
“So?”
“You’re not even trying to get sexfrom me, so I don’t understand what you are getting.” I don'tunderstand what I want from him, either, but it’s like a strangescab I can't stop picking at, even though I know it’s about tobleed.
He throws his hands up. “You’reinfuriating! Can’t you understand that I like you as a person? Thatyou’re fun! That I like being around you?”
“People always wantsomething. Expect something.”
“Oh, yeah? What does Liz expect?Or Joe?”
“Liz is my friend. Also, not aguy. And Joe is my friend because of Liz.”
