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No. I didn’t. Or rather, I couldn’t.
Chris: It’s okay x
Noah: Do you need anything? I have so many desserts, I need to feed someone.
I almost caved.
Almost.
Chris: I’m not fit company. TTYT (smiley face emoji)
I didn’t feel as happy as the emoji suggested, but that was the thing about messaging—no one knew the truth.
Noah:Here if you need me x
Chris: Thank you x
I wish Iwasgoing home to him. I wish my fucking knee didn’t hurt so bad; or my back, which had taken the brunt of the force; or my face, which ached like a mother.
I didn’t sleep well, so I did the only thing that felt right. As dawn broke, I called the school to say I’d be in late in, which Evie approved without hesitation. Then I headed up to the ranch to be with the horses, and maybe get a ride in. Thank fuck, Levi was there, and he must have seen something in me and just assumed I’d want to get out on horseback.
Maybe it was the shiner.
“Your face,” he murmured.
“Should have seen the other guy.”
“Do you need help to hide a body?” he joked.
“Nah, it’s all good.”
And that was all we spoke about until we were twenty minutes in, high on the land above the ranch, watching the world come to life. I’d finally emptied my head and pushed down trying to understand the hatred in other people when Levi cleared his throat.
“We’re friends, right?” Levi blurted.
“Of course.” I assumed he was going to ask me about my face. I liked Levi. And I was quite fond of his pink-haired millionaire fiancé, who was driving everyone crazy organizing his and Levi’s upcoming wedding, which I seemed to recall was at the end of June. Not that Levi talked about the wedding, but god, he loved Quinn, and the love was everything to them both, as if it consumed them.
It was beautiful to see.
Levi’s blue merle collie, Sky, ran along the fence, chasing god knows what, but other than the odd bark when Sky caught a scent, today had been a silent ride, comfortable, the landscape rolling by as we headed away from the ranch onto open Lennox land, inhaling the crisp, icy air and feeling very much alive.
Levi’s quietness was very normal, but today, I saw him glancing at me more often, wrestling with thoughts, trying to find the right words. Finally, he broke the silence, his voice tinged with a hint of urgency. “I’m getting married,” he blurted.
Wait—this wasn’t about my face?
“Yes, you are.” I laughed, trying to take the edge off the panic I could see in him. He was one of the most laid-back people I’d ever met, quiet, stoic. a cowboy in every way, but maybe even he was being infected with Quinn’s wedding madness.
“No, you don’t understand. I don’t know how to write vows with all the meaning and the long words and poems. You’re good with words, an English teacher and all. Could you help me out? As a friend, I mean?”
His request caught me off guard, but in a good way.
I smiled, warmed by the trust he was placing in me. “Of course I can,” I replied, as we aimed left and up over the back fields. He didn’t really want me to help him write his vows, he just needed me to go into teacher mode and tease out the information he already knew. “What kinds of things do you want to say?”
He sighed with so much pent-up emotion. “That’s it, I don’t know. I’ll be standing there in front of people, and I’ll just lose my shit, and that will be it. Quinn will hate me, he’ll cry, I’ll probably cry, the wedding will end, and I’ll have to leave the state, or hell, move to Mexico.”
I drew Beans to a stop, and Levi copied. “Well, that spiraled fast.”
“Shit,” Levi said again.
