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A: Trust me, I won’t. ::rolls eyes::
My heart flutters in my chest, tripping over itself as I realize what she's said to me. I don't know if she completely understands how much it means for her to say she'll give up her day for me. She's addicted to working, and it brings her great joy.
K: I know. I can't quite believe it myself, but I'm here for you if you need me. I don't want to force myself on you, but if you need me I'm here.
A: I don't want you to have to be at the hospital, when you don't have to be. Nobody wants to do that, but I wouldn't say no to seeing you later?
K: I will be on standby. When you need me, you let me know.
We finish up and I put my phone in the pocket of my jeans. I'm sitting outside of the hospital right now, waiting to go upstairs to see my mom. Her surgery is happening in less than an hour, and I'm beyond nervous. I spent last night with her, and it was one of the nicest times we've had together since I was a kid.
I'm not incredibly close with step-father number two, but he's a good guy. He accepts me for who I am, and he allows me to have a relationship with my mom without pressuring me for one with him. I've run into that more times than I care to count. So many of the men in her life assumed that because she and Dad weren't together, I also needed a father figure. None of them believed me when I said I didn't. They always thought I was lying about it, and I was scared to get close to a man because of how quickly she went through them. Matthew is the exception to the rule. He allows me to be who I am and doesn't take offense if I don't necessarily want to do things with him.
"Hey Abel." He greets me as I come into their home. "How are you doing?"
"Good, how's it going with you? Heard you were working with Hank on some of the houses over in the new Magnolia Subdivision." Matthew is an architect, who's very good at his job. He's worked on most of the new subdivisions in the area.
"Yeah." He runs a hand through his hair. "I've been working pretty hard, but I'll be taking the next week and a half off to be here for your mom, in case she needs my help."
Mom isn't home yet. She had a pre-op appointment, and apparently, it's running late. "I hate to say it like this, but I think you'll understand what I mean. If this had to happen with anyone she's been with, I'm glad it happened with you. I don't have to worry about her. I know you'll take care of her. There aren't many men she's been with, that she's had relationships with, who would've taken care of her. All of them except for you and my dad would have left her. I'm thankful for you."
Moisture pops on the sides of his eyes, and he sniffs as he quickly wipes it away. "I love her. She's changed my life. Trust me, I understand she's spoiled, and I did most of it. I give her whatever she wants, and she doesn't want for anything, but that's what makes me happy."
I believe that with everything in me. He's not using her; he's not making her be arm candy or a trophy wife. He's older than her, but only five years. They enjoy their time together, and she's become a better person since they started dating. "You make her happy, too."
"I'm a lucky man, and I will strive to make sure she realizes how much I love her every single day. Things won't always be perfect with us, but she will know I love her."
That's all I can ask for, and all I've ever wanted for her. "Thank you."
"No need to thank me, Abel."
I'm about to say something else when she comes through the door. She looks tired and worn down, but she perks up when she sees me and Matthew standing there. "Hey, you two. How are my guys?"
I let him hug her first, before wrapping my arms around her and holding on tightly. "Good now that you're here. How did the pre-op go?"
She squares her shoulders and gives me a sad smile. "About as good as could be expected. I'm not looking forward to it specifically, but I'm glad to be getting this cancer out of my body. I brought food." She holds up a bag I hadn't noticed her carrying. "After we eat, we can play cards, sound good?"
I swallow roughly. "Sounds perfect."
It takes me fifteen minutes to get up to the floor she's on, and when I step off, I'm greeted by a nurse’s station.
"Where you lookin' to go, honey?" One of the nurses asks. She looks as if she's worked here at least twenty years, if she's worked here twenty minutes. I'm sure helping makes her feel good, but I kind of hate her cheerful disposition. I'm not here for anything cheerful, and I'm struggling to hold my emotions in check.
"Room 2536, my mom's here for surgery." I don't know why I tell a complete stranger that information, but it just slips out before I can stop it.
"It's down the hall, fourth door on the right. She's in good hands, honey. She'll be fine."
"Thank you." Slowly, as if I'm trudging through sand fully clothed, after being dumped in the ocean. It's difficult to put one foot in front of the other, but somehow I manage. Although this is one of the scariest and hardest moments of my life, I know it's even worse for my mom. Getting to the room, I knock quietly on the door.
"Come in." Matthew's voice.
It helps to know he'll be here with both of us. He's been a constant for her and I. I wasn't sure I'd ever have someone to look up to as a person who would offer a stabilizing energy to my mom, and right when I'd given up hope that she would have it, and in turn give it to me, Matthew walked into our lives. He was the first man she'd brought around that I'd been willing to admit I trusted her with. There'd been a revolving door before him, and I can't help but think if this would've happened with any of those other men.
Most of them would've left, and the ones that would've stayed wouldn't have taken care of her. I guess it's one of those things where things happen the way they're supposed to. As much as I'm not used to leaving things up to chance, maybe this is a tick in the box of letting life work out the way it's supposed to. Knowing I've stood out here too long, I hurry in.
"Hey." Mom smiles from where she lies on the bed.
"Hey." I muster up a smile to give her back. She looks so small lying there, as if she really is sick. My whole life she's been bigger than the world, and now here she is. "How are you?" I walk over before leaning in to give her a hug.
