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Just as I open my mouth to respond, I hear the living room door close softly, signaling he left.Tomas really fucking left. That opens the floodgates. I tell her everything. How Tomas was more or less an experimental rebound fuck conquest, how he admitted his feelings last night, how I told him I only wanted him for sex, and how I ate my words in the middle of getting oral sex. I tell her about how the sun lifted the hazy veil of lust and emotions this morning, replacing it with the reasonable logic Tomas had tried to warn me of in the beginning.
"What are you going to do, Liv?"
I feel hollow as I shrug. "I'll confess to my dad, so Tomas doesn't have to take the fall. Beyond that, what else is there?"
We sit together in silence on my bathroom floor. My heart ironically still cracked in two, but I eventually pull it together.
"So, hopefully on a happier note, how do you like it here, Lex?"
She grins widely, a touch of red on her cheeks. "I love it," she answers simply. She looks like she wants to say more, but stops herself short.
I raise a brow, but she doesn't respond. "Does this mean what I think it means?"
She nods enthusiastically. "Fuck yeah, it does!"
I hug her, already feeling marginally better.
After a few beats of silence, she looks at me hesitantly. "Liv, I think you're making a mistake letting him go. If you really explain yourself to your dad, he might be murderous, but he'll soften. James Hamilton would hang the fucking moon for you."
She's right. I do believe my dad would do anything for me, which makes the prospect of disappointing him sting worse.
"You really need to tell both of them how you feel. I'd start with your dad."
I bite my bottom lip, pensively. "What if he moves on or doesn't want me?"
Lex looks at me incredulously. "Bitch, he barely left your bed thirty minutes ago." I roll my eyes. "HeisBennington's most eligible and hottest bachelor, after all." “I don’t think you understand the way he looks at you, Olivia.” That’s the problem. Ihavenoticed the way he looks at me. “I do know, Lex. I went from being the gum underneath Julian’s boot soles to Tomas’ goddess. It’s terrifying.” Lex shakes her head. “I bet it is, but you look at him the same way. I don’t think there’s any way you’re not exploring whatever is between the two of you.”
I know she’s right. "Thanks, Lex. I'm lucky to have you." A sob breaks free, and I laugh. Lex wraps her arms around me. "Come on, let's come up with a plan to get your man back.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Tomas
It'sunbelievablethatlessthan twenty-fours later, her taste still on my tongue, she essentially tells me it's all about sex. I knew the mutual lust was a big part of it, but I wouldn't have guessed that she didn't feel the same. What’s even harder to swallow is the fact that’s not it. She does feel the same. She just won’t let herself feel it.
Self-preservation. That's what I'm telling myself–especially my cock–it is when I sit here three beers in by two pm on a Sunday. Some parts of me are unhappier than others about the sudden change. My ego being the leader of the pity party. It wasn't self-preservation. It was spite. Because spite and egos are fickle things, and mine is certainly not immune.
At this point, whether Nathan tells Olivia's dad or not is irrelevant to me. There's only a few weeks left of class, but I have no desire to stay here. Tenure no longer sounds appealing. Hell, Bennington no longer does either. It's ironic that I was trying to be the voice of reason, mostly for the sake of my career, only for it to implode, anyway. I thought what mattered most could be granted by James Hamilton. Turns out, his daughter was the only one holding that key.
I decide I'm not going to chase her. If Olivia wants me, she will have to come to that conclusion herself. I've never been in the habit of chasing women and I'm not ready to start now. I take out my cell, texting the two people who know I don't ask for much and I don't ask unless I really need it.
Tomas:Are you guys busy?
Tim:You know it. Good to hear from you, man.
Brayden:Look who's resurrected.
Tomas:Come drink with me.
Brayden:This isn’t a good sign.
Tomas:Not at all.
Tim:Count me in.
Brayden:I'll see you around six tonight.
Tim:I'll bring the beer.
