Page 34 of Lost & Found


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I can’t help but be pissed at the fact that she never picked up the phone and called me back, that she didn't feel like she could share those things with me. She and I had made a promise to stay in contact that night, but the day I left she broke that promise. But why?

And the more I think, the more I wonder if what she told me earlier about not having anyone but him after I left was even true or if she said it as a dig at me. If what Liam is telling me is actually true, then she didn’t reallyhavehim until a few years ago. I was gone for longer than that so what could have that really been about?

“What’s that got to do with me?” I question, still trying to fill in the blanks. Beyond my confusion and anger, I’m trying to fit his answers with her cryptic responses, fitting the pieces together.

“Honestly, it’s not my story to tell,” he says, and I scoff at how hypocritical he is.

"I won't tell you why she was upset that day. You'll have to get that from her," he adds, seeing my confusion start to thicken and my patience turn non-existent.

“Shit isn’t adding up. Why the fuck can’t anyone give me a straight answer around here?” I absentmindedly pound my fist onto the tabletop.

The waitress gives me a dirty look. “We got a problem?” she asks. I wave off my anger and take a deep breath.

“Listen, I heard some things about Hollis a few years before we started dating. I’m sure the whole town did. But no one asked about it and no one questioned it. But I think after what she told me–the little sliver that she was willing to give–I was able to put some of the pieces together. But like I said, it’s not my story to tell and honestly, I don’t know enough of it to even give you more than what I've said.”

I can tell he’s reluctant to tell me anything, and I can somewhat respect that. He wants to keep Hollis’ life private as much as he can. At least I know he hasn’t gone around and aired her story to the world, because the way I feel when he says he’s heard some things leaves me very uneasy so I can only imagine how Hollis must feel knowing it's her situation.

Or that she even has a story to tell, and it doesn't sound like a happy one.

“I’m not the enemy here. Technically, you are,” Liam adds before taking a drink of his beer.

“That’s a really fucking strong word for someone who is cheating on the girl they supposedly love.” My tone is lowered in hopes to not bring any more attention my way.

Liam dips his head.

“I fucked up. And I know she deserves better. But she doesn’t have the same feelings that I do. Not like she does for…” he trails off and I think back to something Hollis said to me earlier.

“Was there ever a time where you thought that maybe you were the problem and that maybe you should try and dig a little deeper to figure it out yourself?”

Can’t say I’m not trying.

Then I remember a time where she had said thatI left her. Which, literally, yes, I did. But what if she meant that not so literally.

“You had your chance.”

“My life didn’t stop because you left.”

I never really stopped to think of the deeper meanings to some of those things. I was so blinded by pain and rage that I had tunnel vision; one thing and one thing only. Me getting Hollis to take me back into her life. But I’m a fucking idiot for not listening to her. She’s right, I have only been thinking about myself.

What if all of the things she’s been saying to me…

The night of the party.

“What day was this party, do you remember?” I decide to ask, only out of curiosity and also because I have a slight inclination of what he’s going to say. Though I don’t expect the answer he gives me to hit me like a ton of bricks.

“You know Jaelynn’s older sister? Well, she hasn’t stopped throwing that stupid party every year. It became almost like a tradition in this cooped up town. End of school, start of summer type shindig. Every day on May 31st, she throws some kind of ragger and almost every year, Hollis had skipped it. Until…”

“Until the night you saw her in the corner,” I finish his thought, realization hitting me like a baseball bat.

May 31st is the date I let go of my feelings for Hollis and the next day was the day I left town, eleven years ago.

I wonder why she skipped the party all these years but showed up that year? Maybe I shouldn’t think about it too much, maybe it’s all a coincidence. Maybe, something happened to her, and she avoided it.

But maybe…

“You should try and dig a little deeper.”

“You had your chance.”

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