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Fuck, even being an absolute brat, she is the deadliest crafted weapon for my demise. If she told me to get on my knees right now, I fucking would. I would let this woman obliterate me if that’s what made her happy and she doesn’t even fucking know it. I’ve always been willing to do anything for her.
“What are you going on about now, Hollis?” I ask, feeling defeated by the run around she’s giving me. I just wanted to talk. I wanted to figure out a way past this point that we’re stuck in so how did we end up here yet again?
She shifts as she tries to gather her words, I can tell it’s becoming harder for her to stay in this falsely controlled character she’s created. She’s feeling things she tried to hide behind, and her confidence is wavering only because she knows she wants to submit, but she’s too fucking stubborn to follow her heart. I can tell the Hollis from two months ago is breaking through. And I don’t know if that’s better than what she gave me just two minutes ago or not.
But I do know that I don’t want her to leave or tellmeto leave again. I want to get through to her. Uncover her truth and spill my own.
I want to get to a point where I can dance with her the way I watched her dance with her friends, be the one to slide my hands up and down her body. I want to swallow her lips with my own and hold all of her secrets there while I take her fucking breath away.
Though I can’t do that when she’s always tucking herself away and not allowing anyone to shed any light on her. When she’s shadowed by pain she won’t let anyone else feel, it’s hard to chip away and help her breakthrough.
“Jaxon, I’m sorry. This was a mistake,” she admits in an anxious breath and it’s almost in confusion. Like she doesn’t even know what she wants anymore. And fuck, if it doesn’t mess with my head even more.
“No. Not this time. I refuse to let you walk out on me again. You can’t keep closing yourself off. At least hear me out first,” I plead, and I can tell there’s a war going on in her head. There’s one going on in mine, too and I know that if we don’t face it now, they will collide together and it’ll be one big fight that we won’t be able to recover from.
But once again, time is never on our side.
“Twenty, nineteen, eighteen…”Voices echo in the space around us, counting down the clock to the New Year.
It’s midnight already?I don’t even think I’ve been here more than an hour yet.
But here I am, locked in a bathroom with a girl who can’t even get her own fucking head right, telling me one thing but doing another and I’m about to lose my goddamn mind. Maybe I need to take shit into my hands and stop giving her the opportunity to control this situation.
“Eleven, ten, nine…”
Hollis looks at me, her eyes telling me a story filled with want and desire but disguised with hate and disappointment all at the same time.
It’s almost a pleading look.Save me, it’s saying.Fix me.
I don’t have any more time though. I know that if I don't do this now, she’ll leave me again, and this time it might be for good.
I walk forward, she straightens against the door, my shoes touch the toes of hers, I close the space between us, her breath hitches, and lower my mouth down to hers.
“Four, three, two…”
“Happy birthday, Holli,” I whisper before I pull her by her neck into a demanding kiss that I know we both will never forget.
nineteen
Hollis
“HappyNewYear!”
Cheers break out around us, seeming drowned out as Jax kisses me with a force so fierce, I feel like my soul will be taken if he pulls away. Like making a deal with the Devil. I imagine it like the scene in the Little Mermaid when Ursula takes Ariel’s voice.
That’s what this feels like,and fuck does it feel good.
He fights his way into my mouth, parting my lips with his tongue and I allow him to take the plunge. His hand grips the back of my neck, and his other is placed delicately on the curve of my hip, like he’s forcing himself to keep it there and not roam like I am craving him to, like I know he wants to.
A moan escapes my lips and on instinct, he moves his hand from my neck to the front of my throat; his thumb traces my chin as he twists my face to a slight curve, allowing him to get better access to the kiss.
It’s intoxicating, and I need more.
But as I let my hands slide down from his neck to his chest and then under his shirt, feeling the hard lines of his abs, I realize that this is a mistake.
Becausethisis my weakness…him.
And weaknesses are not good. They control you and make you forget all the pain that was caused, only masking it with deep kisses, blonde hair, and a leather scent that will make you crumble to your knees. I can’t let this cloud my judgment.
