AllFreeNovel
Share Us
twenty-one
Jax
Iwassoangry.I amstillso angry. I am giving up a lot of restraint for this girl just for her to play games with me. I can’t believe that I let her do this to me. After everything, you’d think I’d get a little slack. And how the fuck should I be held accountable for something that she won’t talk to me about?
But I can’t stand that she thought she could fuck around with me like that in that stupid bar, tease me and flirt with me because she was just having fun. All while I’m over here struggling to even think about anything else because all I want is to talk.
All I want isher.
But she can’t be bothered. She won’t even give me the chance to tell her how I’m feeling. How I’ve been feeling. This whole time, it could have been us. And it makes it so impossibly hard for me to move on knowing that coming back has only heightened that feeling. But so much time has passed us by that I’m afraid it’s too late now.
So, when that stupid ass raccoon jumped into the middle of the road—on top of the relentless rain pouring down—I wasn’t paying attention because I was so blinded by rage and pain that it was too late for me to swerve.
The ambulance doesn’t take long to arrive. Which, I’m not even sure why it’s needed but another driver passed by and called 911. Or at least that’s what I’m assuming because I didn't call. They didn’t stop though, so to their knowledge I just swerved around the road like a psycho and ran my bike off the road for no reason.
But I guess I’m thankful they cared enough to call help. And more than anything, I’ll need to get my bike to the shop—it’s not too fucked up but it’s too dark for me decipher the damage right now.
I get checked out for a concussion—thank God for helmets—and I’m asked to do a sobriety test due to my confession of drinking tonight, but despite Hollis’ beliefs, I pass.
I look over at the poor animal who won’t make it home to his family and instantly feel even more anger. Not because the fucker ran into the road while I was driving. But because I let Hollis have so much control over my thoughts, my feelings, my actions, that I can’t even concentrate on getting home myself.
I took off because I didn’t want to hear her try and talk her way out of me being angry. I wanted her to know that I have the right to be just as upset at her as she does with me. But mainly, I didn’t want her to walk away from me again. So I had to make that move first.
The EMT and the police officers clear me to head home, but the only problem is that I don’t know if it’s safe to start my bike. So I dig through my leather jacket for my phone and think to dial my brother, but before I can hit the call button, another pair of headlights approach.
The police car still has their emergency lights running; the driver of the ambulance closes the back doors before walking around to the driver side. I can’t see the other car too well, but it slows down right behind the officer parked on the side of the road and I hear a car door slam before footsteps stomp through the puddles of rain.
“Is he okay? Please tell me he’s okay.” I hear a frantic voice echo beneath the patter of the raindrops, and my heart stills at the sound of her voice.
I hear the officer speak back to her, unsure of what is being said. But before I know it, I can see her come into view, thanks to the headlights of the cop car, and my arms are forced open as she races into me, jumping as if she knows that I’ll catch her.
And I do.
Her hold around my neck is so tight, it’s almost suffocating. But it’s warm and safe, despite the fact that our last few interactions have been toxic to say the least, I allow the embrace because I need this so damn bad. I need her.
“I was so worried,” she breathes into my neck as I feel a different kind of water drop onto my skin. Hot tears roll down her cheek and over my neck as her face is buried there, while I grip her ass to hold her up to me, legs wrapped around my torso.
She leans back and gives me a good onceover before lowering her mouth to mine and kissing me.
I’m so taken aback that I don’t kiss her back at first, and regretfully might I add. She pulls away as concern washes over her face, so many things probably crossing her mind.
The police officer drives off and now, it’s just us in the pouring rain.
She wiggles out of my hold and I’m reluctant to let her down, but I do when she gives me a pleading look.
“I’m so sorry. I know I’ve fucked it all up, but the truth is Jax…I’m scared. I’m scared to let you in, I’m scared to lose you again. I don’t want to risk another goodbye. I’m scared to tell you everything I want to tell you and everything you deserve to know. I’m just…” she trails off as she gulps down her tears. I can’t tell which are coming from her eyes and what’s just rain falling from the sky but her emotions are very apparent.
I reach out and wipe whatever I can away anyway, because my skin craves to touch hers. I trace my thumb from under her eye down to her bottom lip and her breathing stops, she opens her mouth slightly and I watch them quiver at my touch.
Everything about this girl sets me on fucking fire.
“There are unspoken truths between both of us,” I start. “Miscommunication that runs too deep and we both seem too scared or guarded to face any of itt. But we have to start somewhere,” I tell her, and I see the understanding start to shine in her eyes, like she has been waiting for me to say the right thing this whole time.
I just didn’t know what the right thing was. All I knew is that I needed to try and get my girl.
“I thought I might lose you. I thought…” she pulls her hands to her face as she lets out a small sob.
She’s soaked; her hair forms its natural waves as the water drenches it, her sweater is clinging to her skin, her mascara mixes with the rain that’s dripping down her face.
