AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I told you I wasn’t drunk,” I say. “A stupid ass raccoon jumped out in front of me if you’d believe it. But I’m okay,” I add as I try to soothe her worries away with the rain.
I reach to swipe some of her wet hair from her forehead and she lifts her dark brown eyes to look at me.
“But I saw you, I thought you were trying to cause an accident.” Her voice is small and broken. I can damn well feel the hurt I’ve caused her.
“That was water that I drank before I left the bar, Hollis. And besides, why would someone try to intentionally hurt themselves?” My question seems to still her breathing and her look of hopefulness turns into a lost expression of disappointment.
That’s when I realize that there is way more to her story than I could ever possibly imagine, and I intend with all of my being to get to the bottom of it. I need to fix this.
“We have a lot to talk about, and I really want the chance to be able to do that Hollis. But you can’t keep pushing me away. I can’t fucking take it anymore. And you can’t keep forcing yourself to stay away. We used to be best friends, and obviously a lot has changed since then. But we don’t lie to each other. And I made a promise to always be there for you. I know you might think I didn’t keep it, but it wasn’t because of lack of trying.” I don’t give her the chance to shut down my words, to take away the chance I deserve in order to say what I need to say. But I also need to make sure it’s what she wants.
This has to be a two-way street.
“You’re right. I just…I don’t know how to…” her voice cracks as she takes a deep breath. “I don’t know where to start.” Her shoulders sag a little and I notice her start to shiver.
“Let’s start by getting you warm.” I take off my leather jacket and layer it over her shoulders. “Do you have room to fit my bike in the back?” I nod to her vehicle, and she nods back.
She gets into her car and drives it forward so I can easily lift the bike into her trunk. She makes room by lowering her back seats—who knew these fancy ass SUVs had so much space—and she helps me lift the heavy body of metal inside. It’s tight, but it fits.
I convinced her to come back to my house, because there’s something I’ve been dying to show her. Plus, it’s an added benefit that my place is close by, so the drive isn’t more than twenty minutes.
My nerves get the best of me for some childish reason. Maybe because this is the closest she’s allowed me to get since I’ve come back. And I don’t mean physically considering all the times I’ve forced her to kiss me, but emotionally.
And I feel good about the progress being made in this very moment. I just hope it’s enough and I hope it lasts.
twenty-two
Hollis
“It’sthesecondhouseon the left,” Jax tells me as I turn onto his street.
My heart is still racing from earlier, thinking that he could have been hurt or worse. I’m glad he’s okay and I’m glad he’s willing to give me this chance even after I pulled the stunt that I did at the bar.
Still, something doesn’t sit right in my heart. Not because I don’t want this. I think Ineedthis. But because I’m still so stuck in my own damn head about how this will play out. Will he judge me? Will he understand? Can we move on from this?
I pull into his driveway, backing in so that he can unload his bike easier. Jax unbuckles his seatbelt and waits for me to park. I turn off my car and sit for a few minutes, while Jax types in the code for his garage and runs around to the trunk and starts lowering it down.
I can’t imagine it’s light. I mean, even with my help earlier I could still feel the weight of it. But I can’t get myself to move. My mind is stuck in place thinking about everything that happened tonight. Everything that’s happened since he came back.
Everything that’s happened since he left.
I’m startled by the sudden breeze and the sound of my door swinging open.
“Please come inside,” he says, looking at me with those dull blue eyes of his. I miss the twinkle in them. Even though I forced myself to not look into them as often because it hurt too much.
“Jax, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, maybe we should start over tomorrow.” I unbuckle myself and turn slightly in my seat, but not too convinced I’m getting out just yet.
Maybe a fresh start would be nice, but just maybe not right now. Again, I’m in my head and I hate this back and forth that I force myself to go through.
“No. I’m not waiting till tomorrow. We’re here now and I’ll be honest, I don’t trust that it will feel any better tomorrow than it will right now.” He reaches his hand out for mine, offering to help me out of the car.
I take a deep breath and grab keys and hop out. But I don’t take his hand for help. He leads us into his home through his garage, he flicks on the lights so that I can see. And though he’s already in the doorway, something catches the corner of my eye.
A midnight blue car, in all its vintage glory but looking nearly brand new. I’m not quite sure why it catches me off guard at first, but then it hits me.
“Ken’s car,” I whisper. I look over my shoulder to see Jax watching me raptly. I think back to the days we would play Barbies together. Okay, I would play Barbies and he would pretend to be interested. But this car, or one that looked just like it, was the one he let me borrow to park in Ken’s fake garage. Though it was far too small to have Ken actually pretend to drive it, I thought it was the perfect car for Ken and I loved that Jax had let me borrow his old toys to add to the silly imagination I used to have.
Something warm squeezes around my heart. I can’t imagine that this would be a coincidence, but part of me hopes it is only to alleviate the overwhelming feeling invading me. Though, I can tell by the way he’s looking at me that it was definitely an intentional move.
