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An unintelligible cry left her lips. Reagan’s hands clutched at my hair, my arms; frantically grasping any part of me she could touch as I didn’t let off the pressure. Her body convulsed, then seized in ecstasy. I rode the waves with her, pulling every last drop of her pleasure from it.
When the shaking slowed, and the twitching ended I finally pulled away. I would have assumed that was all she could take, but she guided me up her body. I kissed her, letting her taste herself on my tongue. Reagan moaned, her legs wrapped around me welcomingly, knees tucked in tight at my sides.
She angled her body, rolling us on the cloth until she sat on top of me. I could see the natural cut in the rock as the moon acted like a backlight to her curvy form.
Her hands reached between us, rubbing over my hardened length. Tucking her fingers into the hem, she began to loosen them, but I tensed, breaking the kiss.
“Wait, Reagan, if we do this, it seals the bond?—”
“Mmhmmm,” she hummed, leaning in to kiss me again.
I pulled back, grabbing her hips to keep her from rubbing all over me. “Is that what you want?” I asked, because anything less than yes meant this wasn’t happening, no matter how much I wanted it.
“I want you.” I rolled to the side and came down on top of her, taking control of our position. It was hard to think with her heat pressed against my groin. Reagan wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “Is that not enough?”
I closed my eyes and breathed out harshly through my nose. “I want you too, Reagan, but you’re ignoring the fact that if we do this it seals the mate bond. Something I’m not sure you’re actually ready to accept.”
She pressed her lips together and stayed silent. A slow rising anger took over my body. I pushed myself up off of her and scooted over to the side, paint sticking to me, I rested my forearms on my bent knees and dragged my fingers through my hair in frustration. “You still don’t believe it exists.”
“I don’t,” she admitted quietly. “I know that upsets you and I’m not trying to. I just don’t think anything is going to happen from us having sex. Except maybe you realizing it wasn’t the mate bond you felt this whole time.”
Rocking forward, I stood up. “Then I guess we’re done here today.”
Anger clouded her features and she rolled to the side and stood up. “What do you mean we’re done here today? I just told you I want to be with you. Why is that not enough for you?”
“Because I’m not going to trick you into accepting the mate bond. It’s shitty, and while your past fuck buddies may have gone for that, I’m not that kind of man.”
Reagan reeled back. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what I said,” I snapped. Reagan ran a hand through her hair in a nervous habit.
“Okay, I upset you. That wasn’t my intention. I know you believe that we’re bound together, but it’s just your soul calling to its other half. I’m okay with it. I can accept that. You need to as well. I know it’s not your fault I’m a guardian, and I’m not sitting here worried if you’re really going to kill me. I know what I feel for you is real, but beyond that, no. I’m sorry I don’t believe that we’re mates. I’m not meant to have a mate, and neither are you. The only logical explanation to that is that it’s your soul.”
“I guess we’re at an impasse then.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I just told you I have feelings for you and you’re acting like you don’t want me without the stupid mate bond. Are you for real right now?”
“It means we’re going in a fucking circle, Reagan, and we keep clashing in the same spot. I know you’re my mate, and you are continuously telling me that I’m feeling something that isn’t really there. What am I supposed to do with that?”
“I don’t know, but if that’s all you’re here for, then maybe you should just let me go before things get more complicated.”
I laughed humorlessly. “Of course. How could I forget? You just want to go home. Was that all this was? A ploy to soften me up then ask for your way out of the bargain?” I motioned to the canvas we’d painted in passion. Now it felt like nothing more than a bitter reminder of what could have been.
“Don’t be an asshole. You know I didn’t?—”
“No, an asshole doesn’t take no for an answer. An asshole tries to claim you even when you’ve said you didn’t want that. I’m not the asshole here, Reagan. I would never make you do something you didn’t want to do. And if we fuck, that is exactly what’s going to happen because you’re too damn stubborn and unwilling to see any other option as truth.” I got to my feet and started for the door. “I can’t talk to you right now.”
“Are you rejecting me?” she asked.
“How could I? You’d have to believe in the bond for me to do that.”
She flinched, but I couldn’t find it in me to feel bad.
“Just because you believe something doesn’t make it true,” she whispered.
“I know that, Reagan. Maybe take your own fucking advice.”
“You know whose advice I should’ve taken? Nog’s.”
