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Chapter 15
Izzy
I can’t believe what I just did. Matt obviously likes me, and if I didn’t know it before the kiss, I definitely know now. I like him too. But after that kiss, which was incredible, I couldn’t get past the moratorium he has on his nerd life. It probably seemed like I was daydreaming as we tried to finish the homework yesterday and part of me was. Part of me was still swimming in the memory of his lips on mine and his fingers sliding across my back, under my shirt. But the other part of me, the part that I tried to get rid of as I lay in my bed wide awake until two in the morning, couldn’t get past the fact that something I loved so much he wanted to keep a secret. And today I proved it.
He didn’t care if I liked comic books and anime, and he didn’t care if people knew about it. He had no issue going out with me, despite everyone knowing how big of a geek I am. But when it came to him? When it was his likes that were on the line, he didn’t want to put himself out there.
I told him I get that he didn’t want to be made fun of, and I do get that. But knowing that he likes all the same things as me, that we have a lot more in common than I ever thought we did, and not being able to talk about it with him openly? I don’t think I can do that. I don’t want to pretend like he is someone else when other people are around. And I don’t want him to pretend that either.
I sling my backpack over the table, sitting down in a huff, as Veronica gives me a worried look.
“What’s up, chica?”
“Nothing,” I grumble, digging in my bag and pulling out a soda.
“Dang, girl,” Cindy quips. “You look like your hard drive just took a crap, and it had every episode of Bleach.”
“I know,” I grumble lower.
“Oh, no.” Veronica lets out a low gasp. “Did something happen with President McHottie?”
“So, you are talking to President McHottie?”
My head shoots up, my fists shaking in front of me. “Would you guys please stop calling him that.” I stare at both of them with a fizzled expression.
“What happened?” Cindy asks.
“Nothing. Everything. I don’t know. I thought I knew what I was doing, and now I feel like crap about it.”
“Oh, girl.” Cindy reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Day after hook-up regrets. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.”
“I haven’t,” Veronica scoffs.
“It’s not hook-up regrets.” I stare at Cindy, before looking down at the table. “Not really.”
“So, something did happen,” Veronica says with a little too much joy in her voice.
Both elbows on the table, my fingers knead into my forehead, thumbs rubbing circles into my temples as I still try to come to grips with everything.
“No … yes … I don’t know …”
Three weeks ago, I knew who Matt was. Our hot, senior class president, that seemed nice, but that was the extent of it. Now I really know him. I even know how he kisses, and maybe more importantly, I really like how he kisses. And I just threw it out the window five minutes ago.
My fingers stop as my eyes look up and see them both sitting there, painfully quiet, waiting for me to explain.
“So, I went over to his house yesterday—”
“His house?” Cindy jumps in.
“Yeah, but it was for Mrs. Henderson’s assignment.
“Oh.”
“So, I asked to go up to his room.”
“What?” Veronica’s eyes widen.
“No. It wasn’t like that.” I let out an exasperated cry. As I look up, I see Matt in the distance. I know he usually sits on the other side of the quad, but as soon as I see him look over at me, I look back down at the table.
