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She turns to face me, and her smile steals the air from my lungs.
I look down at her. “I’m surprised you got here before the doors closed.”
Her cheeks flush. “I didn’t.”
“What?” I ask, pulling back to look at her. “How did you get in?”
The roses blossoming on her cheeks burn brighter. “I lied.”
My eyebrows pull together as I study her. “About . . .?”
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, avoiding my gaze. “That you’re my boyfriend.”
“What?” I ask, unable to stop the smile that comes across my face.
When she looks up at me, she’s playfully glaring. “Don’t make it weird.”
Her lie makes me happier than it should. For years, I’ve had a one-track mind. Join a band, tour, and make it a career for as long as I can. That’s all I’ve ever cared about. I raise my eyebrows innocently. “I’m not making it weird.” Leaning toward her, I ask in a hushed voice, “Is that why you’ve been so nice to me tonight? You’re worried about being found out?”
She rolls her eyes, but when her stare settles back on me, it’s unwavering. “No.” She shakes her head as she looks out over the trashed venue. “Why were there so many people here tonight? It wasn’t like that in October.”
“It’s probably just hype around the tour and the new album coming out.”
I said it casually because it’s the truth. It isn’t until her eyes widen, and she says, “You’re going on tour?” that it hits me, she doesn’t know. A small part of me figured she knew already. I’ve told Matt about the tour and assumed he mentioned it to Rae, and I figured Rae would have told Margot.
But apparently not.
Something inside my gut tightens because if she doesn’t know about the tour, there’s a good chance she also doesn’t know I’m dropping out of college.
Not that it matters.
She’s made it clear she doesn’t want anything more from me, but at the same time, she’s here.
Scratching the side of my head, I mutter, “Uh, yeah.”
“That’s amazing!” She hugs me, filling my senses with her strawberry shampoo, and when she pulls away, she doesn’t let go completely. She leaves her arms around my waist as she looks up at me, and it feels so fucking good. “Where will you go?”
I don’t know why this topic is making me uneasy. If this were anyone else, I’d gladly talk about my excitement for the tour, but this is Margot.
And as much as I hate to admit it, leaving her makes this once in a lifetime experience bittersweet.
“Sidecar, a band from South Carolina, asked us to open for them on select dates during their first headlining tour, so we’ll be all over.” I study her face for any underlying negative feelings about the news, but I’ve never seen her this radiant.
She’s genuinely happy for me.
“Jackson!” she practically squeals. “That’s incredible!” She squeezes me a little tighter, and I let out a laugh.
It feels good to have someone view one of my proudest achievements as an actual success. Lord knows I wasn’t going to get any approval from my parents. Matt is happy for me, but when it comes to Margot, everything feels different.
More.
I should tell her what this means. I should make it clear that going on tour means I’m dropping out, but a small part of me doesn’t want to. What if she has no problem with it? What if she sends me on my way without so much as a backward glance? I don’t know why, but I want her to care. I want to know I mean something to her.
I kiss her. It’s a quick peck on the lips, but it’s enough to make those cheeks of hers scarlet, and I take a little too much enjoyment in how much she’s affected by it.
Before I know it, it’s just the band and Margot left. She’s stuck around after most people have gone home, and even though I don’t understand it, I’m grateful. I’m grateful to have her by my side all night. I’m grateful for her laugh and her gorgeous smile. I’m grateful for the way she can hold her own with the guys from the band—she even throws a few playful jabs at Marty.
We’re not together.
