AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I can’t bear the thought of being the reason he sounds like this. A sigh leaves my lips. “Of course, I think about you.”
He sounds like he stops walking. “Yeah?”
I look up at my ceiling and hope I won’t regret saying this. “Every damn day.” Every minute of every hour would probably have been a more accurate response. I don’t think I’ve stopped thinking about Jackson since I met him. The feelings behind those thoughts may have changed, but he’s always been there, in the back of my mind.
A low chuckle leaves him, and it’s a sound I can feel in my core. Part of me relaxes with him more at ease, but another part of me is frozen in fear. “But Jackson?—”
“I just wanted to know if you think about me, Margot. I’m not asking for anything else.”
Holding the phone in the crook of my neck, I fidget with my hands in my lap. “Okay.”
“I just got home. I’ll text you later, though.”
“Has your dad been better?” I blurt before he can hang up. Knowing he’s been home for days, and I haven’t asked this brings a new wave of guilt. I should have asked him as soon as he was home, but I was too afraid of what texting him might mean for me. My chest tightens with regret at the thought.
There’s a pause on the other end of the phone, and the silence breaks my heart.
“Jackson.” His name is heavy on my lips.
He forces another laugh, but there’s no warmth behind it. “I’m not sure ‘better’ is the word I’d use, but yeah. We’ve gone from what feels like blatant hate to a beautiful indifference.”
I hate that he’s going through this at what should be the happiest moment of his life. I grab my phone with my hand and sit up straight. “He’ll come around. And if he doesn’t, it’s his loss.”
There’s another beat of silence. I wonder if I took things too far with that. I don’t know all the ins and outs of his relationship with his dad. Maybe I’m overstepping. After what feels like forever, Jackson’s voice comes through the other end of the phone. “I wish you were here.”
His words squeeze around my heart. Lying back on my bed, I stare at my ceiling. “Me too,” I say quietly, surprised by how much I mean it. How did this happen? How did he become the person my heart both beats and breaks for? “But you probably wouldn’t want me there if I’m being honest.”
“No?” A ghost of a laugh comes through the phone, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “And why’s that?”
A small smile pulls at the corner of my lips. “I don’t think I’d be able to fake pleasantries with your dad. He’d hate me.”
“He’s not allowed to hate you.”
Everything inside me aches. I ache to be near him. I ache to make him happy. I ache to stand up for him. Staring at my ceiling, I force myself to take a breath. Jackson isn’t just a fling. He’s more. He’s the type of more you can’t walk away from. Joining the band and touring might be Jackson’s once in a lifetime opportunity that appears like a bolt of lightning, but if I’m being honest with myself, I think he might be mine.
My eyes are hot with the threat of tears, and I quickly wipe one away before it has the chance to fall. “Didn’t you say you were home?” I can’t let Jackson hear me cry. And over what? The fact that I like him so much? I need to get a grip.
“Yeah. I’m sitting against the garage. I’d rather stay out here with you.”
Peanut bumps against my hand, and when I look at him to scratch his head, a rogue tear betrays me, sliding down the corner of my eye. My instinct is to end the call so he can’t tell, but I have to stop hiding from him. I have to give him as much as he’s given me. It’s the right thing to do—it’s what I want to do. “Okay,” I say, wiping my eyes. “I’ve got nowhere to be.”
And for the first time tonight, I can hear the smile in his voice when he says, “So, what are your plans for the holidays?”
Rae and I sit at her kitchen table eating cake. She finally agreed to see me again now that I texted Jackson, and I’ve been filling her in.
She scrutinizes me, her eyes narrowing. “You like him so much.”
I groan and fold my arms onto the table. Letting my head fall, I surrender. “I know.”
“Does he know?”
Tilting my head to the side to look at her, I say, “I think so?”
Rae shakes her head. “Not good enough.”
Smoothing my hair away from my forehead, I sit up straight. “I know. I’m trying, but . . .” My voice trails off.
“But?”
