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Chapter 19
Cruz
I can’t remember when the last time was that I had this much fun at the cabin. It had to have been before our teenage years. Today, we swam until sunset, and then grilled on the back patio. Throughout the afternoon I kept stealing little looks from Journi. Could it be like this every year? One could argue it’s a lot of people to cram into one place, but it is only for a weekend, so we’ll manage.
Could it be like this every night with Journi? We spend our afternoons lounging together, then sharing a summer, and at night we’ll fall into each other’s arms. Our past includes spending one weekend with her, and then a year of conversations. I know she’s someone I could share forever with. Neither one of us expected it to happen. That’s the best kind of love. It wasn’t forced or ever intended—I only have to convince her.
Jan sees it, I know. When she offered to switch tubes with me, I knew she was on board with it. That was her way of giving me her blessing. And why wouldn’t she? Larissa has barely acknowledged my existence. I’m happy for her, too. Zac seems like a great guy who is giving her the attention and respect she deserves.
I reach over and notice our cooler is empty of waters, sodas, and beers. Most of the ice has melted as well. After I dump the contents over the patio balcony, I take the cooler inside to refill it. I’m almost finished when my mother comes to stand beside me.
“Hey.” I smile at her. “Can I get you a drink?”
“No, I’m fine. I wanted to apologize.”
That stops me cold. Has she already hired a hit on Journi and it’s too late to call it off? “What’d you do?”
She playfully smacks my arm. “I was dreadful to Jan’s friend.”
“Which time are you apologizing for?”
“All of them. I’m sorry.”
“Shouldn’t you be telling her this?”
“I will. But I need you to know. You and Joshua are everything to me. I was scared you were going to get mixed up with a wild woman.”
I almost choke on my spit. My mother sometimes speaks like she’s not from this century, or that she grew up in middle of nowhere America. “I appreciate your concern for my virtue.”
“You’re impossible. I needed to let go of some silly ideas I had and allow you to form your own silly ideas.”
“Is Journi a silly idea?”
My mother smirks. “It’s the most ridiculous one you’ve had yet.” We both laugh, but then her tone turns somber. “Which is why it might be the best for you. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you smile like that. You were playful. Reminded me of the little boy I used to bring out to this cabin.”
A tightness forms in my chest and I feel a burning in my eyes. “Mom.”
“You’ve worked so hard all your life. But it’s time to start living it. I know as of late you boys mostly came out here for me. Today it finally felt like everyone wanted to be here. If she’s the reason, then I owe her the biggest apology.”
She is the reason for so many things.
It’s finally bedtime. I can’t deny that I’ve been looking forward to it ever since I discovered I was bunking with Journi. She’s dressed in little bitty shorts and a matching button-up shirt. I watch as she walks past me on my bunk to climb up to hers.
We lie there in silence. Finally, she whispers, “Good night.”
“Good night.”
This is it? We’re not going to discuss that Jan gave us the green light? Larissa has moved on—even though we were never a thing, so I was being punished for my mom’s best friend’s daughter’s crush. Even my mother approves now.
“My mom likes you now.” That might’ve not been the best way to word it.
“I think she’s starting to grow on me as well.”
Silence. Fuck this. I throw the covers off of me and climb the ladder up to Journi’s bunk.
“What are you doing?” she sits up and whisper yells.
“What are you doing! We can finally be together and you’re acting weird.”
