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Wiping my face, I shoot her a “what the hell” look. “Carly, oh shit, this is big, like real frickin’ big!!! What did you say?”
“I didn’t know what to say. You have no idea how bad he hurt me. I’m scared if I uncage my heart, he’ll crumble what’s left of it.”
The waitress serves us our dessert, but my stomach is a shaking mess, so I just pick around at the plate, completely uninterested in the delectable peanut butter fudge cheesecake that sits before me.
“You’re makin’ a mess of that cheesecake; now I know shit just got real! So tell me, what’re you gonna do?”
“Hell, that’s what I need your help with! I don’t know what to do. I never moved on after Colton broke my heart, but I don’t know that I can trust him. I want to, but I’m not sure I should.”
“What’s your heart tellin’ ya?”
I sit there for a moment, thinking. I haven’t even considered what my heart wants. My brain is sending me mixed signals of fear, excitement, happiness, lust. “I want to feel whole again. To be completely honest, if I’d never come home, I would’ve been content loving him from a distance because I’ve dealt with a shattered heart this long. But now that I see him every day, I don’t know that I can resist being without him. Colton is the only man I’ve ever known, the only man I want.”
“Wait, do you mean to tell me you haven’t been with anyone since Colton?” Savannah asks with a puzzled look on her face. I blush at my admission and nod.
“Oh, Carly honey, why? Has it been that hard to move on?”
There is unmistakable pity in Savannah’s voice, but it’s so hard to explain to anyone the heartache I suffered when Colton let me go. I experienced so much loss in such a short amount of time and at such a young age. I’ve moved on in so many ways, but I never recovered from the shattered heart Colton Weston left me with. He was my first love and will forever be embedded deep within my soul.
“I love him, Savannah. He has always held the key to my heart, and although he broke it, the shattered shards are only his to piece back together. As hard as it’s going to be to hear whatever he needs to reveal, I need to hear the truth so hopefully we can heal together, as one. I’m tired of being alone.”
Finally, I’m honest with myself, but I’m scared shitless. I harbor a dark secret that Colton deserves to know, but damn, it’s a sorrowful memory that I don’t want to dredge up.
“Talk to that man. You know he never stopped asking about you. Every time I would see him, he would ask if I’d talked to you. You would think he would have realized after a while that you just wanted to be left alone, but he still clung on to hope that you’d find your way home.” Savannah and her damn mothering ways. I know she’s right.
We finish up our lunch in time for Savannah to pick the kids up from school. We hug and say our goodbyes. I’ve missed my big sister, and I’m glad I have her wisdom to rely on when my heart and head play games. Now, if I can gather the strength to approach Colton without faltering.
After leaving the diner, I decide to come home and go through the rest of Daddy’s things, since Colton interrupted me last night. My day is wasted with worry about seeing Colton again and what may come of our relationship. I always resort to cleaning when I’m stressed out. Besides, the faster I can get Daddy’s things out of the house, the faster my heart can heal from losing him. I can’t stand looking at his belongings every day.
In the bedroom, I begin bagging up the contents I pulled from the closets and drawers last night. When I’m done there, I open the closet to double check that I haven’t missed anything. The chest. Shit, I got so wrapped up in Colton’s visit last night, I forgot about finding the key. Where did I look last? Oh yeah, Daddy’s office.
I enter the dark room and walk over to the desk to click on the lamp, then begin my search. I turn over every book on the bookshelf, open every drawer in the desk, look in the back of every picture frame, look in the safe and still come up empty-handed. What the hell! Think, Carly, where would Daddy leave a key to a chest he never wanted opened? Hmmmm, I think long and hard and come up with nothing. I go back to the bedroom and take one last look at the lock. Aha! Genius moment!
Racing downstairs, I run out to the garage in search of Daddy’s bolt cutters. Now I ain’t got a damn clue what these look like, nor how to use them, but I’m sure I can figure it out. I tear apart the tool cabinet before finally settling on what I think would be bolt cutters. Just as I make it out of the garage and begin up the stairs, the doorbell rings. I look down at my watch, five-thirty. Damn! I take one long, deep breath and exhale it slowly.
I open the door only to unveil the face I’ve been longing, yet terrified, to see. Colton. Our eyes lock, and a grin spreads wide across his beautiful face. Without invitation, he walks inside and shuts the door behind him. I take two steps back, trying to put some space between us, but as I do, he wraps his hand around my tiny wrist and pulls me toward him. I succumb to him. With one deep inhale, I’m enveloped by the scent of Colton. It has never changed. Mmm, he smells of a fresh ocean breeze. I nestle my head deep within his chest, enjoying the euphoric high of being wrapped tight in his arms.
He lifts my chin with his finger and kisses me softly, then whispers, “Plannin’ on beatin’ my ass with bolt cutters, huh?” I look down and giggle. I’ve completely forgotten the task at hand, simply by seeing Colton’s devilishly handsome face.
“No, actually I need to cut a lock off a chest upstairs, but you distracted me.”
“Sorry, baby, you just worried me when you didn’t come back to the office today. Wanted to stop by and check on ya. Are ya feelin’ okay?” he asks sincerely.
“I’m fine, just needed to clear my head, so I met Savannah for lunch.”
Colton senses my tension and begins to pepper kisses my all over my forehead. “I’m here when you’re ready to talk. Anytime, day or night. But remember, I always get what I want, so you may as well stop pushin’ me away. Let me in.”
I pull away from his embrace and smile up at him. Damn, he is so beautiful. “I know, but I’m scared,” I whisper. He smiles and takes the bolt cutter from my hand and leads me upstairs.
“Okay, sweetheart, just what do you plan to open with these?” he asks. I walk him over to the closet and show him the chest. He looks down at it for a minute while rubbing his chiseled chin. Turning to me, he releases a deep huff and asks, “Where’s the key?”
“If I had the key, I wouldn’t need bolt cutters, dumbass.” I roll my eyes, and he chuckles at my smartass remark. “I’ve never seen this chest before, and I want to know what’s in it.”
“Darlin’, are you sure you want to go plunderin’? It ain’t any of my business, but you know how Big John was. Chances are, if he hid the key, he didn’t want anyone gettin’ in this.”
“Well, he ain’t here to voice his damn opinion, so pop the damn lock or move out of my way so I can do it!” I challenge.
He chuckles as he squats and pulls the chest from the closet to the middle of the bedroom floor. With one swift flex of his thick, strong arms, the lock snaps and drops to the floor. Oh heavens, watching his rugged strength sends a tingling, warm sensation deep to my core. Colton stands and backs out of the way, willing me to open the lid to the heavy oak chest. Immediately, I chew on my lower lip as nerves rattle through me.
