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We pull up to her house, and I help her out of the truck, then walk her to the door. I remind her about our dinner date for tomorrow night and pull her into a soft goodnight kiss. She kisses me deeper than I expected, but I pull away quickly, trying to give her the space she keeps askin’ for. She sends all these damn mixed signals, and sometimes I don’t know which way is up. I tell her goodnight and kiss her on the forehead before making my way to the truck to head home.
Chapter 21
Carly
Agreeing to try to have a relationship with Colton has proven to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. He pushes, and he pushes hard. I love nothing more than being wrapped up in his arms, but I’m fighting with myself that with each day that we spend together, the more comfortable I’ll get. The more comfortable that I get, the more unguarded my heart becomes.
We’ve had a few date nights, but the more time we spend together, the deeper he pulls me under. I’m slowly beginning to trust him, regardless of how hard I fight it.
Trust. Damn, if I ain’t one to talk.
Colton has no idea about my friendship with Luke, and I don’t really know why I’m trying to hide that friendship from him. Colton and I aren’t in an exclusive relationship, but we are trying to build one.
Luke and I see each other for lunch weekly. Never anything planned, but we end up at The Village Diner, eat together, and talk. I’ve learned that Luke is broken beyond repair, but I don’t know why. He never talks about his pain, but I can read it in his eyes.
Colton is very overprotective and possessive. He would strangle Luke and rid him of his misery if he knew we were friends, or if he knew the way Luke looks at me. I don’t think he looks at me in a sexual way, but as if he is peering into my soul, trying to connect to me. But maybe it’s my guilty conscience lurking, picking away at me, because I do have a strong attraction to Luke.
And then there is the secret I uncovered about my long lost brother, Drew Varney. I’ve kept these secrets buried deep within myself. Telling Colton about Drew wouldn’t change anything between us, but this secret is safer with me.
How do you unveil to your sister and mother that you have a brother that your father kept hidden away, but within his reach for nearly thirty years? You don’t. You bury that down deep, beneath the earth, and ignore the secret’s existence.
But how long can something that explosive be ignored? How long before that secret creeps its way to the surface, peeking its ugly little head out just when you least expect it? Secrets. They are meant to be kept, but always threaten to destroy the foundation of trust that you have built with the ones you love, the ones you want to protect. Knowing that Daddy had a second family absolutely disgusts me. Every time I try to decode the secrets of his past, I get tangled deeper within his web of lies, and I hate him a little more. It’s so clear to me now that Daddy certainly wasn’t the man I thought he was. I can’t share any of this with Colton, but I’m not ready to tell anyone about what I’ve uncovered about Drew or Daddy’s past.
Today is a dreadful day. My momma, Elizabeth Simon, is visiting for Thanksgiving. I haven’t saw or spoke to my momma in over seven years. Don’t get me wrong, I love my momma. I mean, she carried me for nine months and labored in pain for twelve hours to bring me into this world. She raised me during the most memorable part of my childhood. But she turned her back on us and walked away when I was only seven-years-old.
Okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic. She called regularly, sent birthday presents, and we visited with her and her husband, Garrett, in Florida every Christmas. She and Daddy didn’t have the best relationship.
When she left Daddy, she ran to Florida and never looked back. She claimed the sunshine would help heal her wounded heart. I always found that funny … her wounded heart. Once I was older, I realized that she and Daddy never were meant to be if her heart was merely wounded when they split up. Hell, Colton shattered mine. But that’s what true love does to ya when you lose it. It shatters you, heart, mind, body, and soul, leaving nothing behind but a million tiny shards. Momma never was broken, only wounded.
But her wound healed quickly, once she met Garrett. She remarried within a couple years and never looked back. She only visited Kentucky when Savannah and I both graduated high school, and even those visits were very short-lived.
Growing up without Momma left a void in my heart. Luckily, Savannah was always by my side to get me through the most despairing times that Daddy couldn’t handle. Such as getting my period, boy talk … sex talk. Momma was always just a phone call away, but talking about boys and sex on the phone to my momma would have been weird. In fact, the older I got, talking to Momma at all always left me with a deer in headlights kinda reaction. I didn’t truly know her, her likes, or how to talk to her. So our conversations were always mundane and boring. I would be a liar if I said I didn’t harbor any frustration toward her for leaving us. And since finding out about Drew, I have even more questions that I want to ask her. She has to know something.
I still haven’t mentioned anything to Savannah about Drew, and to be honest, I don’t even know how to unload something that explosive on her. I find it ironic that the more secrets I try to dig up, the deeper I bury those of my own.
Savannah is hosting Thanksgiving at her house and begged and pleaded with me to help prepare dinner. She babbled on and on about quality sister time and making new traditions. So here I am, adorning an ugly ass granny apron, with my shirt sleeves rolled up, elbow deep in turkey guts. Way to go for a new tradition, sis.
Dear God, why didn’t I go to Tennessee with Colton and his family? Brailee is loving it, though. She begged to pull the neck and giblets out and is now dissecting them each in a bowl while Savannah and I work on other preparations. Brayden is quietly playing in his room with his Tonka trucks while Josh is sprawled out across the couch with a long neck watching football. All morning long he’s been on Savannah’s ass about rushing dinner, and how he expects it will taste like shit. She presses that he’s just kiddin’, that it’s the alcohol talking. But I can see that with each remark, her cheerful spirit diminishes. Stupid ass bastard. I’d love nothing more than to shove this turkey baster up his ass, sideways.
Just as we remove the turkey from the oven, the doorbell rings, and Brailee and Braden both break their necks rushing to the front door to open it. Squeals and laughter erupt from the living room as they are reunited with my momma, Elizabeth. Savannah pads off to greet her. Me, I stay behind, hidden in the kitchen, trying to appear too busy to break away from my task.
Everyone comes into the kitchen and Momma shouts, “Oh my goodness, Carly Jo, I didn’t think you’d come!” as she rushes to embrace me. She wraps her small arms around my neck, and gives me a long, tight squeeze, then holds me out at arm’s length, turning me around and looking me over.
“I can’t believe it. You are a striking young lady. I’m just in awe.” She gasps, grasping her chest. My cheeks redden at her excitement. I feel as if every pair of eyes in the room are trained on me, and I have never been one to draw attention to myself.
“Glad to see you too, Momma. You look gorgeous as always. Ain’t you supposed to be gettin’ old? You have grandkids now!” I kid with her, trying to lighten the mood. What mood? My own I guess, as everyone else is relishing in the moment.
Savannah, Momma, and I set the table, and Josh carves the turkey. For the first time in many, many years, the Simon ladies are all together for Thanksgiving. We join hands to say a prayer of thanks, then prepare our plates to enjoy what I hope will be a delicious dinner. We eat quietly for the first few minutes, before Momma finally speaks up and begins to make conversation with the twins. Savannah joins in, while Josh and I both eat quietly, neither of us acknowledging the other or the conversation.
As soon as I have cleaned my plate, I don’t even bother with gorging myself with holiday seconds. I’m tense and annoyed. So I set off to clean the kitchen, trying to busy myself. Savannah and Momma join me a short while later, but I urge them both to leave the mess to me, shoving pumpkin pie and coffee in their direction. Savannah can’t resist pumpkin pie, so she happily takes it, turning on her heels with Momma and Brailee following promptly behind her. I put away all of the leftovers, start the dishwasher, and finish cleaning the kitchen. Within an hour, everything is sparkly clean again.
The house is quiet. Josh and Brayden are snoozing away on the couch, while the sounds of helmets clashing and angry grumbles erupt from the speakers of the television.
I can hear Momma and Savannah talking in the family room, and I fight with myself over joining them. I have too many questions for her, and I don’t know where to start. I don’t want to ruin the holiday for Savannah and her family by creating drama.
I pad down the hall to the family room, peeking my head in. Maybe I can keep the conversation light. Their conversation doesn’t falter as I enter. I sit on the end of the couch, pull my knees up to my chest, and brace my arms tightly around my legs.
Momma is talking about the cruise she and Garrett just returned on from the Bahamas. She explains the island oasis in detail, lush with green palm trees stretching far into the clear blue sky and the tranquil crystal blue water that you can see through deep into the ocean. They spent their days lounging on the white sandy beaches, letting the sounds of the ocean waves crashing against the shore lull their relaxation. I’ve never been to the Bahamas, but I know the sound she’s describing, and in this moment, I miss my life in Myrtle Beach.
