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The smell of his shirt hits me, and I take a small breath.
“Hey Lockie. I’ve been around.” I take a step back from his arms. “I couldn’t escape that shit hole for a while,” I shrug.
“That place is seriously messed up, Cal. You don’t deserve any of the shit those people put you through,” he says, lighting up another cigarette and putting it in his mouth.
We lock eyes for a moment as he takes a puff of the cigarette. His gaze doesn’t budge, almost as if it means something more than a passing glance. His voice shows genuine concern when he speaks to me as if he cares about me—no one else in my life ever shows me that anymore.
Harl clears her throat, pulling us from our stare off as she rejoins the group. “So, C, care to tell us what’s been going on the last couple of weeks since we last spoke. It has been a hot minute.” Harl says, pulling herself up on top of the side of the bridge so her feet dangle over the side.
I look at her, trying to refocus my thoughts. Should I mention the incident that happened at the Christmas Dinner? What should I say about the dreams I have been having? They are my best friends. I tell them everything, but sometimes hiding things from them is good. It may be okay to keep some things to myself.
“Okay, so where do I start?” I ask calmly, even though my heart feels like it will explode from my chest. There is a lot of shit going on in my life right now; I don’t even know which way is up. I’m so damn stressed. Telling them most of it will help release the burden.
“From the start, babe. It’s been two weeks since we saw you, let alone heard from you. We’ve both been concerned,” Harl says, looking at Lockie for confirmation.
Okay. Tell them everything. What’s the worst that can happen?
“Okay, I keep having that recurring dream that I’ve had since my parents died. I’ve probably mentioned it to you enough,” I laugh nervously.
“Yeah, babe, we know about that. Are they still happening? Has anything changed?” Lockie asked.
I blush. I feel butterflies at the sound of him calling me babe. It’s nothing new. He does it all the time. Why am I feeling like this today?
“Well, kind of. I still get dreams every night, but lately, they have been different. If I’m being honest, I’m pretty worried about them.” I look at the ground.
“What kind of difference, C? I’m beginning to worry now.” Harl says.
Let’s tell them about my dreams. They don’t need to know about the dinner incident, which I still haven’t comprehended.
“Okay, so you know it always starts when I’m in the forest, right? The Shadow figure keeps popping up, trying to catch me, but never does, as I always wake up before it reaches me. Well, this time, it stopped in front of me.” I say, out of breath.
Harl and Lockie are looking at me with a look I have never seen on their faces. Oh God, have I scared them? They must think I’m crazy.
“Cal, what do you mean it stopped in front of you? What shadow figure?.” Lockie asked puzzlingly.
No going back now. I may tell them the whole thing.
“Well, exactly like that. It stopped in front of me. I can’t explain what I mean by a shadow figure because that is the best description I can give you. Not only that, it let me… touch it.” I say hesitantly.
Harl raises her eyebrows at me. “What happened when you touched it?.”
“It started to take… a form. Of a man? A figure? I’m not entirely sure what form it was, but I can tell you it had a great body, and I could only see one of his eyes as the other was covered with his hair. The eye I could see had specks of blue in it. I’m unsure what colour his eyes are, but the blue stood out like a sore thumb.” I vomit out as much information as I can remember from my dream about the figure’s appearance.
They both look at me like I’m crazy. Like they don’t believe me. I must sound so stupid and crazy right now, or worse, just horny. This probably sounds like a sex dream to them. They say nothing, so I took that as my cue to continue the story.
“He was topless at first until I glanced down and saw, you know… and then he grabbed my hand and pulled me close, kissed me ever so softly like he was hungry for me. Like he had been waiting for me. Then he broke from the kiss and signalled down between us, and I noticed he was completely naked. He… asked me if I wanted to play, so obviously, I told him I’d never done anything like that before, but I was willing to try. So, I got down on my knees with his guidance, and he inched towards my mouth and said follow my lead, and then I woke up in bed sweating and hyperventilating.” I say, completely breathless, and look up at Harl and Lockie.
They are both sitting there, mouths wide open like I just told them someone died. Fucking say something, then! I knew I shouldn’t have told them all of that.
Harl shuffles into her spot on the bridge and nudges Lockie. Lockie looks at her with raised eyebrows.
“That’s very detailed. I don’t know what else you want us to say, Cal.” Lockie says while grabbing my hand. His mood has shifted.
“We love you, C, and will never judge you regardless of what happens,” Harl says, hopping down from the bridge and grabbing my other hand.
I look at both of them with tears in my eyes. What did I do to deserve such great friends? Even if Lockie’s mood seems off right now. “I don’t know what it means,” I whisper.
“Maybe it’s a sign? Maybe someone is trying to reach you now about your parents?” Harl says, squeezing my hand.
