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Chapter 20
Zander
“Oh, thank God, Zander. Thank God,” the voice bellowed in the phone when Zander groggily answered the phone. It was Thursday, the first day of his summer break, and he’d planned to sleep the morning away as a reward for another school year completed. When his phone started buzzing before his alarm usually went off, he had groaned, wondering who could possibly be called.
The sight of his mother’s number, though, had jolted him awake enough to realize he needed to answer.
“What’s wrong?” Zander asked hurriedly, his thoughts automatically landing on his dad and wondering if the heart condition had roared back to life.
“It’s Ian. There’s been an accident. A bad one, Zander,” his mom spit out through tears and half-sobs. Zander flipped the covers back, Jon Snow almost launching across the room.
“What happened?” he asked, running a hand through his hair as he stared out the window into the sunshine-filled morning, cars already honking on the street below despite the early hour.
“I don’t know all the details for sure, but I know it’s bad. He was on the set for some movie doing a motorcycle stunt when things went wrong. He’s in a coma, Zander. They don’t know what’s going to happen. Your father and I are flying out this evening to be with him. Anne called to tell us as soon as she found out. She’s beside herself, Zander. The poor thing, all alone out there right now.”
Zander exhaled. He’d always been afraid of something like this happening. Ian, the life of the party, though, had always assured everyone they worried too much. Today, that sentiment was proven false.
“All right, Mom. I’m going to get some stuff organized and I’ll be out there as soon as I can, okay? Don’t worry. Ian’s a fighter. He’s going to be okay. It’ll all be okay,” Zander assured. They talked out some of the details such as addresses and flight schedules, and then Zander hung up. The day was supposed to be filled with lazy hours passed doing nothing. Now, he was scrambling to book a flight, to pack a meager bag, and to ask his neighbor lady to watch Jon Snow.
It wasn’t until he was sitting on the plane that he could allow himself to breathe, to think, and to be really afraid.
A coma. Things didn’t sound good. Zander had seen some of the stunts Ian performed and had heard about the close calls. If there had been an accident, it wasn’t some minor little hiccup. It was something life-threatening, life-changing.
He settled in for the flight, thinking about how maybe he should’ve called Rachel… but for what? She’d made it clear she needed to focus on her career, and maybe she was right. Maybe Zander didn’t need the distraction right now. His family had to be his focus.
Still, as he tried to pay attention to the in-flight movie and keep his thoughts from turning morbid, he couldn’t help but wish she were here right now, holding his hand and telling him it would all be okay. He mourned for the fact the seat beside him housed a hairy, sweaty middle-aged man who grunted instead of talking. He couldn’t help but think how nice it would be to have someone to actually lean on right now, someone to tell him it would all be okay and that, if it wasn’t, she would be there for him.
For the first time in a long time, Zander acutely felt the loneliness of the lifestyle he had chosen. Sure, avoiding love meant there was less risk of a broken heart. But did avoiding love really mean he was happier? Did avoiding the risk of a broken heart mean it was any more solid?
When the plane finally landed after an interminably long flight, Zander told himself this wasn’t the time to worry about life choices. He was just feeling confused and vulnerable because of the emergency situation. Once Ian was out of the woods, he would fly back to the city and settle into his routine. He would reaffirm the fact life as a bachelor was more than fine, and love wasn’t something he needed.
Still, as he headed to rent a car after claiming his baggage, he couldn’t help but think about how easy it was to lie to one’s self, and how hard it was to forget the black-haired beauty he’d already shared so much with.
* * *
“Anne, how are you doing?”Zander asked as the tearful woman lit up at the sight of him in the waiting room.
“I’m okay, I guess,” she answered as she fell into Zander’s arms. Clearly, his sister-in-law was far from okay. The pallor of her face told him all he needed to know about the gravity of the situation.
“Any news? What’s the latest?” he asked when they pulled back and she had a moment to collect her thoughts.
“He’s in surgery right now to alleviate some swelling in the brain. It’s bad, Zander. Really bad. He motorcycle stunt was super risky, but Ian thought he could pull it off. He fell really far and really hard. The doctors said he’s lucky to have survived, but they don’t know what kind of state he’ll be in if he pulls through. The surgery itself is risky, too, but it was his best chance at surviving this. I’m scared.” Tears fell, and Zander pulled Anne back in.
Over the past two years since Anne and Ian’s wedding, Zander didn’t get the chance to learn a whole lot about his sister-in-law. The distance between them meant she was somewhat of a mystery to Zander. With them being across the country from each other, even Ian and Zander weren’t as close as they once were. Still, holding his sister-in-law in his arms, he realized none of it mattered. All that was important was he could be here to hold her, to comfort her, and to help her through this horrific accident. They were family, plain and simple. He was thankful he could be here for her.
He didn’t take time to process it all, or maybe he just couldn’t. He focused on comforting Anne, letting her tell him about the accident, about where she was when she got the news, and about how scary it was seeing the strong and vibrant Ian fighting for his life. Zander held her hand as she cried, as she told him about regrets and things unsaid and let her mind wander.
He did his best to calm her and to assure her Ian was a fighter, which he was.
But it didn’t sound good, and when Zander’s parents finally arrived, taking over some of the responsibility of comforting Anne, he finally got the chance to pull away, get a coffee, and really process the truth.
This could be it. Ian could be in his last moments. It was a terrifying thought.
Not just for the fact Zander would miss Ian, would feel the loss for the rest of his life. It was also a slap in the face about life and how short it was. It reminded Zander nothing was guaranteed and that at any moment, everything could come crashing down.
Zander found an unoccupied bench and parked himself on it, staring at the now-starry sky. He was exhausted and worried about his brother. He was still in shock. Staring out at the California sky, he wondered what he could possibly do to make any of this better. He worried nothing could help it.
And, in that dark moment of despair, there was only one thing, one person who made him light up, who made him feel like it would be okay.
