AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Twenty-Three
Sage
“There will betime for celebrating after this launch,” I argue into the phone, balancing it precariously between my ear and shoulder as I try to type up some emails.
“Sage, everything is ready to go. We’ve all done our part, and this launch is going to be fabulous. Now come on, let’s go celebrate,” Harper argues into the phone.
“I just want to do a few more things. We have a lot invested in this, and I want to make sure it’s a success.”
“It will be, but you’re not going to be able to enjoy it because you’re going to be burned out.”
I sigh. Harper’s probably, as usual, right.
For the past four days, I’ve been a whirlwind of business activity, essentially locking myself away in my condo to send more emails, reach out to more magazines, and just pour myself into this line. I tell myself it’s because I want to make sure the line is successful, but if I’m being honest, there might be more at play.
“So what about Cash? Have you made any exceptions to your work-only rule for him?”
“No, he knows I’m busy.”
Cash stopped by yesterday with coffee and wanting to play, but I politely declined. I could see the worry in his eye that I was regressing, but I reassured him I just needed time. Time and distance while I get this all sorted out.
“You’re crazy.”
“He knows work comes first.”
“But maybe it shouldn’t,” Harper argues.
“Harper,” I warn, shaking my head at the conversation we’ve had dozens of times.
“Okay, okay, I’m done. Now listen, I’ll let you stay in your workaholic hole for the next few days, but once this line comes out, that’s it. You’re getting out and celebrating. I might make you take a whole month off. So enjoy your crazy little ways now.”
Before I can argue, she hangs up, and I put the phone down, staring at the half-written email on my screen.
What am I doing?
I exhale, the question I’ve always known how to answer now seeming like an enigma. I look around my condo, which is stuffed full of fashion items and fabrics and files. I’ve built this online empire. I’ve created this brand, this success—but what’s it all for? If, at the end of it all, I only have these emails, these files, and a silent condo, was it all worth it? The money, the public accolades—it’s all great, but isn’t there something more to all of this? Instantly, my mind goes to the one person who has stirred things up, who has made me wonder if, in fact, this life I’ve chosen is actually the right life for me.
Cash Creed.
I’ve spent my life priding myself on the fact that I don’t need anyone to lean on, that no one gets my full commitment. But what if I’ve had it all wrong? Would leaning on someone be so bad? Would leaning on Cash Creed, building a life with him, really take away from all of this? And even if it did, would that be such a bad thing?
I stand and trudge over to my window, staring out at the tourist town below. I think about all that’s happened to get me to this point, all of the decisions I’ve made. I think about that fourteen-year-old girl staring into the mirror and vowing to be nothing like her parents. But in this posh condo, all alone, with only money and business driving me, maybe I haven’t succeeded at that very goal. Maybe I’ve, in a roundabout way, turned into a version of them.
And that terrifies me.
Then again, is Cash Creed really the one who can change it all? Is he the one to put trust in? I’ve seen what happens when trust is violated in a relationship. When the player decides to play for keeps, is she really all that wise to choose another player, a man who is a self-proclaimed commitment-phobe?
My head swirls with questions and confusions. How did things get so messy? How did I get to this point?
Monticello rubs my leg, startling me out of my self-deprecating stupor. I take a deep breath, glance around the apartment, and decide it’s time.
It’s time to try something new. If it doesn’t work out, well, I guess I’ll just have to pick myself back up. After all, I’ve learned how to stand on my own two feet. What’s the worst that can happen?
