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Kane takes a bite out of an apple. “I remember a little.”
“How does that work? Do you have all of his memories? Or were you able to pay attention while he was in control?”
“A little of both,” he says quietly. “I can pull from his memories sometimes. But during your sessions with him, I made sure to stay close to the front to see how you’d interact with him.”
That must mean he was there when Dessin and I were close to kissing. He was there for every raw moment. I want to ask what he thought about it. But the topic seems too awkward to bear.
“Has it sunk in yet?” he asks.
“What?”
“Being on the run? Has any of that sunk in yet?”
I bite my lip. The taste of apple is sweet on my tongue.
“I don’t know. I’m still not sure what comes next,” I say, examining the next space of my apple I want to bite. “I had nothing in Chandelier City. You and Dessin are the only people that make me feel safe—that make me feel like I’m home. But I do need to know where this is headed.”
Kane lowers the apple from his mouth, staring intensely into my eyes. The sun sprinkles over his face like tiny flickers of candlelight. “Wherever you go, I shall follow.”
His heavy words coil around my thumping heart. Déjà vu sears my insides like a crackling fire trickling up my spine.
His eyes are as warm and radiant as melting copper. They dig into me with deliberate intent, unearthing my soul, flipping through the pages of my life as if there’s a chapter missing.
“Right now, I’m trying to buy us time. To rest. To enjoy a little freedom. But we’re playing a long game with Demechnef. They’ll never stop chasing me.” His head lowers, brow pinched together. “Fortunately, they aren’t thrilled about the forest. They’re paranoid that Vexamen lurks out here and of all the unknown species. So, it’ll take them longer to track us down. Dessin’s plan, however, is a bit different. He’s hoping to track down people and things that may help us negotiate with Demechnef. Create a treaty, perhaps.”
“What’s he trying to track down?”
“Defects who ran from the government. My mother is the one who gave me that advice. She said they could offer safe harbor and secrets about Demechnef.”
I nod slowly. “So, we’ll take it one day at a time then.”
“Yes.” He smiles. “Together.”
~
For the next few nights, Kane wanders deep into his own thoughts. Sometimes I watch him when he’s tied so tightly into the safety of his mind, the comfort of his old home. I wonder if he’d rather be in there than with me. But it gives me time to understand him without the cryptic messages of a conversation. He always makes sure I am fed and taken care of before providing for himself. I see that he goes out of his way to find the sweet plump red fruit I like so much at the top parts of the trees by the water. I see that when Kane thinks I’m asleep at night, he brushes the hair away from my face, drapes his blanket over me, and tucks it under my chin.
Tonight, I fall into a sleep that is heavy and unrecognizable. I see my father hovering over me, a wooden club in hand, a look of despair twisting over his face. I can’t move my arms to protect myself. I can’t roll away. I can’t even blink my eyes. Terror bites into my neck and wraps itself around my chest and waist. Please, don’t hurt me again. I try to scream, seeing the itch of a violent action worming through his limbs. Daddy, don’t do it. Don’t hurt me. Please don’t hurt me. My father begins to sob. Dessin! He takes the wooden club and slams it down into my stomach. I’m defenseless. I’m paralyzed. The shocking jolt of pain shoots through my gut. Another slam in my shoulder. Another into my chest. You’re going to kill me!
I find the perimeters of my own mouth and finally say, “Kane,” I think it comes out in a single breath. Can he even hear me? Will he know that I’m dying? My father is here, and he’s trying to kill me!
“Think of me.” I hear a voice outside of the beating. It’s Kane’s voice. “Think of me, Skylenna. Picture my face. Take my hands and let me pull you back.” The perfect picture of Kane flashes in my mind. I see his hands reach for me, pulling me into his arms. The safest place in the whole world. My eyes open, no more pain, no more Father. I’m in Kane’s arms. I let out an agonized sound. His chin rests on my head, my face nuzzled into his muscular chest.
The smell of cedar fills my nose, and I exhale in relief. He mirrors my breath and holds me tighter. “I’m sorry.” I shake my head. “I don’t know what—I’m sorry,” I say again.
“Sleep paralysis.” I hear a familiar smile in his voice. “Sometimes you just need someone to guide you out of it.” An echo of a memory tugging at my mind’s eye, yet it won’t reveal itself.
“It was horrible. I thought my father came back to kill me.”
Kane lets out a slow breath. “I wouldn’t have let him.”
I push against his chest to look at him. Our faces hover closely. “Can you make me a promise?”
He waits silently, smart enough to hear what the promise is first.
“Promise you’ll never take your life.”
Like a blow to his lungs, air catches in his chest. His weighty gaze rolls over me, pain clinging to his expression like a parasite. “You have my word.”
