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“Hi,” I say, then lean closer to him. “We’re in the Stormsage Keep. Asena is bringing us to meet someone who has been asking for me.”
Kane lifts his chocolate-brown eyes to Asena’s back, covered in furs and cloaks. He gives me a thankful smile but doesn’t say anything. His strides even out. He faces forward to continue walking in silence.
My stomach turns into a bitter puddle of acid.
I miss talking to you.
I miss the way you’d reach for my hand.
I miss you so much, Kane.
“We stayed here once after running away together,” I blurt out in a low whisper.
There isn’t a hitch in his pace as he cocks his head in my direction, glancing at me with a crease in his brow.
“I had a breakdown in the dining hall because I was trying to ration what I was allowed to eat. My mind was still stuck in the ways of the lady-doll regimen. You were the one that helped me realize what a problem it had become when you encouraged me to eat until I was full.”
I twist my hands together, wringing them out like a wet towel. Does he care? Could he possibly remember flashes of this? Does he feel what I’m feeling when I repeat the memory?
Kane’s expression is usually so readable. So easy to dissect the emotions morphing his features. But right now…he’s a stranger to me.
“And now? Is eating still a problem?” he asks, but it sounds like he’s trying to make conversation to be polite.
I bow my eyes and frown.
“No. Not anymore.”
“I’m glad.”
Me, too. But that wasn’t the point. I wanted you to feel something. Look at me the way you used to!
Asena stops in front of the door at the far north end of the keep. She lifts her chin to me with a defiant look of strength. “Do not be mad at me, dashna. I was not sure if ya would come. But I have come to know her after much time and do not think ya will have another chance.”
My blood runs cold. “What did you do?”
Who is her?
Kane stiffens at my side, taking a protective stance toward me.
Asena pushes down on the dulled silver handle, using her shoulder to shove the door open. It scrapes against the floor as she opens it wide to reveal a bedroom. I find myself retreating inward as I glance around hesitantly. There’s a large cherry oak bed with ten-foot posts and a sheer canopy. It’s covered in white furs and wooden accents. Dim with the light of two fireplaces going.
It doesn’t exactly smell great in here…
Like a neglected infirmary. Saline and bodily fluids. Ash. Dust. Something similar to the way our cage smelled after Ruth underwent surgery. Death warmed up.
Asena observes me with cautious eyes. Waiting. Bracing for impact. My eyes then go in a frantic search of the giant bed, skimming over the ruffled sheets, the hand hanging off the side, the wolf resting its head on a lump in the center. I take a guarded step forward, tilting in to get a better look.
“Do ya know why I’ve called ya dashna?” Asena’s low voice greases the air. “It means daughter.”
There’s only one image in that bed that makes me back away.
I don’t need to even see the face that’s turned to the side in silent slumber. All it takes is the mess of golden waves that look like the hair of a mermaid. They’re splayed out across the white pillow, a pool of honey around her head.
It snaps my neck upright. My breath hitches in my throat. Goose bumps pebble over my arms and legs. The air drops twenty degrees, yet my forehead and palms go damp with perspiration. I’m burning up, shivering, swallowing down a heavy lump in my throat.
“Asena…”
“She wanted to see you before…”
