Page 29 of Beautifully Broken


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Picking my fork back up, I take a bite of my food. After I swallow, I mutter, “I still think it’s sweet. I would have loved having a Gram like her growing up.”

We finish our food in silence. Like the other times I’ve eaten at Maggie’s, the food is delicious. It has a home-cooked taste that makes it much better than the bland food you taste at other restaurants. Even though I haven’t eaten since yesterday afternoon, the small meal I ordered fills me up. I’ve had to scrimp on food lately, so it doesn’t take me much to get my fill.

I sigh and lean back in my chair once my plate is empty. I look over to Jaxon and find him already leaning back in his seat, his multiple plates empty.

“I can’t believe you ate all of that. There was enough food there to feed me for a week.”

He twists his lips into a smirk and says, “Told you I could put away some food. I don’t eat like I should at night because of the bar, so I eat as much as I can during the day.”

I laugh lightly. “Well, I’m definitely impressed.”

“So, angel, tell me about yourself,” he says, crossing his arms over his hard chest, the muscles in his biceps bulging out of his t-shirt.

I knew it was coming, but I dread it all the same. I have no idea what to say to him. I can’t tell him about my childhood or my time with Steven. Well, I can, but I really don’t want to. It has the potential to cause a lot of problems, problems I don’t need. My plate is full enough, and I don’t think I can take anymore. I can bypass it all and just give him snippets of the good, the little there is anyway.

Nervously twisting my hands that are sitting on my lap under the table, I ask him, “What do you want to know?”

After taking a sip of his coffee, he places it back down on the table. “Hmm… let’s see. Where did you grow up? What were you like as a child? Do you have any siblings? You mentioned college. What did you major in? What do you like to do for fun? What’s your favorite color? Food? Movie? I want to know anything and everything about you.”

I start laughing as he spits out the multitude of questions. “Wow, that’s a lot of questions. You sure you want to know all that? I’m a pretty boring person.”

He looks me for a moment with a smile on his face, before he says, “For some reason, I think I’ll find that not to be true.”

“Okay, let’s start from the beginning and you’ll see just how dull my life has been.” Taking a deep breath, I start telling him the pieces I allow myself to reveal.

“I grew up in a medium-sized town in the south. We lived in a crappy neighborhood that had no other kids. I was a small, quiet, and shy child. The only friend I had was Chris, and I didn’t get to see her that much, except in school. School was not fun for me because I was so withdrawn into myself. The only highlight was seeing Chris. I have no siblings. It was just me, my mom, and my dad, whom I told you earlier I haven’t spoken to in years. And please don’t ask about them. I’m not ready for that conversation.” I tack on the last because I see the questions swirling in his odd eyes.

“I went to college and got my degree in education. I wanted to be an elementary school teacher. For reasons I would rather not discuss, that dream never came to fruition. I haven’t really had a chance to do stuff for fun, but I do enjoy reading. It’s a passion I recently discovered, and I love it. My favorite color changes often, depending on the things I see around me. My current favorite is steel blue.” Of course, I don’t tell him that the reason it’s my current favorite is because of the times I’ve seen his eyes change to that color.

Even though he may not know the reason, I still blush and look down at my lap. When I look back up, he’s watching me intently, like he’s absorbing every word that comes out of my mouth.

I finish up the answers to his questions. “My favorite food is my homemade lasagna, which I might see if Maggie wants to try putting on her menu, because everyone needs to try it. And my favorite movie is Sleeping with the Enemy.”

When I finish, he has his elbows resting on the table, leaning toward me. I know that I’ve left a lot unanswered. I also know he’s dying to ask me questions I’m not ready to answer. I can see it in his eyes. I just hope he listened to me and doesn’t ask them.

In the end, he asks a question that I didn’t expect. It’s a question I have to answer delicately, for fear of revealing too much.

“Why is your favorite movie Sleeping with the Enemy, angel?” he asks quietly. There’s a tic in his jaw and his expression is intense. There’s a mixture of worry and anger. I’m assuming the two emotions are there because of what my answer might tell him about me and my life. I do have a specific reason why it’s my favorite movie, but I can’t tell him that, so I decide to go with the most basic answer I can.

I shrug as if it’s no big deal. “The woman went through hell with her husband. I find it amazing that she could find the courage to run away from that and start a new life on her own. Although she was still terrified when she left, she didn’t let that fear hold her in place. She got herself away from him with the little she had. Even when her husband found her, she didn’t just meekly cower down, she took a stand. That takes a lot of courage, and I admire her for it.” I leave out the part where I’m living the real life version of that movie.

Jaxon is still watching me with fierce eyes. He was very smart to catch on to the whole movie thing. When I told him my favorite movie, I thought nothing of it. That was stupid on my part. I should have known he would pick something up from it.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, just watching each other. Just as it starts to become uncomfortable, Jaxon gets up and reaches out to me. I guess our breakfast is over. Not once does he release my hand while he pays for our food, or during the walk back to the apartment.

When we make it to the door to my apartment, I pull the keys from my purse to unlock it. He scoops them from my hand and does it himself, handing them back to me afterward. After depositing my purse and keys on the small table by the door, I turn to face him.

“Thank you for breakfast,” I say sweetly, looking up into his eyes.

“It was my pleasure,” he responds, while taking a step closer to me and lifting his hand to my face. His proximity is a little unsettling but welcome.

I close my eyes, knowing what’s coming next: him kissing my forehead. I’m looking forward to it. It’s such a sweet thing for him to do, and for someone like me who hasn’t had much sweet in her life, I love it all the more. I’m starting to look forward to these intimate gestures from him.

What I don’t expect, and completely takes me by surprise, are the warm lips that lightly settle on my own. Jaxon uses his thumb under my jaw to gently tip my head back. I’m still stunned and comply immediately. His kiss is soft and tender, like he’s afraid he might scare me. I have to admit that I am a little scared, but I’m also intrigued.

Jaxon timidly runs his tongue across the seam of my mouth, and in a bold move I never thought I was capable of, I open my lips to him. He swoops in immediately and tangles his tongue with mine. He tastes of mint and coffee. I love the combination.

As if Jaxon knows that if he pushes too hard I’ll withdraw, only his lips and hands are touching me. There’s still a couple inches separating us, and I can’t help but be disappointed by the space. This is a big step for me, and I’m surprised I haven’t started freaking out yet. Yes, I’m nervous and unsure, but it just feels right. I can only assume it’s because Jaxon is doing the kissing. I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else. Even the thought repulses me.

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