Page 30 of Beautifully Broken


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Jaxon slowly pulls away after placing two more sweet kisses against my lips. He then rests his forehead against mine. His breathing is labored, and mine isn’t much better. The kiss couldn’t have lasted more than a minute, but it feels like it was hours. And if I’m being honest with myself, I want more.

I’m left with not knowing what to say while he stares into my eyes. His are searching mine to make sure that I’m okay. I give him a reassuring smile to let him know that I am. In return, he gifts me with a smile as well and places another kiss against my lips.

“I’ve got to go,” he murmurs.

“Okay,” I whisper. I don’t want him to go, but I’m also relieved. I need time to think about the kiss.

“I’ll see you tonight.”

“Okay,” I whisper back, already looking forward to it.

“I don’t want to leave,” he says, staring into my eyes. I stare back, transfixed by his beautiful gaze. I see my favorite color again.

Reluctantly, he drops his hand, pulling away, and reaches behind him to open the door. He takes a quick step back to me and lands another kiss on my lips.

“Later, angel,” he says softly with a smile.

“Later Jaxon,” I reply, just as softly with my own smile.

“Lock the door behind me.”

“Okay.”

I hear his heavy boots against the floor once he hears the turn of the locks.

10

OVER THE COURSE OF the next several days, I find myself developing a routine. In the mornings, I get my first hit of coffee while sitting at the table overlooking the main street of town. Sitting there, I watch the pedestrians and wonder what their lives are like. Are they happy with where they are in their life? Are they married? Do they have any kids? Where do they work? What are their hobbies? Where are they going that day?

I’ve always been fascinated with others’ lives. Even as a child, I loved to watch other people. When I got older, sometimes I would fantasize that I was one of the people I was watching. I would make up these elaborate stories in my head that had me working as an elementary school teacher. Each day I would come home to my loving and dedicated husband. He would be someone who showered me with attention and loved me unconditionally. We’d have three beautiful kids, whom we both adored. We’d live in an average house, in an average neighborhood. My fantasies weren’t really fancy, but they were my own, and I could make them into whatever I wanted.

What held my attention the most was watching the kids walk to school. I have always wanted children. I’ve never really had the opportunity to be around them that much, but I knew, even as a kid myself, that I wanted them when I got older. They are so innocent and carefree, with no worries of the world. Even though my own childhood was a disaster, I knew that I would cherish my child and protect them with my life.

After I sat and watched the world go by, I would get dressed and be ready for when Jaxon picked me up for breakfast. I was a little skeptical at first when he kept asking me to have breakfast with him, but I’ve grown to love the time I get to spend with him. He may look tough and dangerous with all his tattoos and piercings, and he probably is, but with me, he’s one of the sweetest and kindest men I’ve ever met. I may not have known him long, but I feel safer with him than I have with any other man. It’s an unusual and exciting feeling.

We usually eat our breakfast, drink several cups of coffee, and then sit and talk for a couple of hours. I reveal little bits of my past, the pieces that aren’t tainted, and he tells me about himself. He has also told me a little bit about the town. I learned that he and his family have lived in Jaded Hollow for generations.

I also learned that Jaxon’s Pub was originally built by his great-grandfather, who was also named Jaxon. When he passed away several years ago from lung cancer, he left it to him. Maggie’s Diner has also been in the family for years. His family consists of him, his grandmother, mother, Mia, Anna, an aunt and uncle, and a few little cousins. He has some extended family members from his father’s side whom he hasn’t seen in years. When Jaxon revealed that his father ran off a few years ago, I could tell there was more to the story than what he was telling me. There was hurt and betrayal written in his eyes. It’s obviously a sore subject, so I don’t pry.

I learned that Jaxon owns a motorcycle, and he enjoys taking rides just for the freedom it gives him. He said that when he needs time to think, he’ll hop on it and just ride, with no destination in mind. He claims it calms him and allows him to clear his mind. He got his first tattoo when he was just sixteen years old. His mom threw a fit until she saw it. It was a simple design of the word mom written in calligraphy above his heart. Once she saw it, she burst into tears and pulled him into a hug. She couldn’t be mad after that.

The more I learn about Jaxon, the more I like him. He truly is a great guy. Anyone would be lucky to have him in their life. Not only is he wonderful, but he has a wonderful family, as well. I can’t help but to be a little envious of him.

After our breakfast and little chats, Jaxon would always walk me home. There, standing at the door, Jaxon would lightly kiss me, just like the first morning. At first I was nervous, but I’ve come to cherish each and every time he tenderly places his lips against mine. He’s always so gentle and sweet, never pushing for more. I know I’m not ready for anything more, and I guess Jaxon realizes that too. I may not be ready emotionally, but my body is another thing. Each time he kisses me, my body sings. My mind may be telling me to keep things slow, but my body is telling me to go further.

After our kiss, he would leave once he heard me lock the door. From there, I would grab my purse and a book and head to the library, where I would get lost in it for a couple of hours.

Anna and I have gotten closer as well. Once I leave the library, I head back over to Maggie’s Diner and sit while she works. Or, if we both have a day off at the same time, we go back to one of our places or go to the next town over, which has several shopping centers. I’m still very diligent with my money—I never know when I might have to up and leave—but I’ve also splurged a little on clothes. As my wardrobe is seriously lacking, I can justify the spending.

Nick left town a few days ago for another construction site, so Anna has been depressed. I try to keep her busy, so her mind isn’t constantly dwelling on him. I have no idea what Anna is going through because I’ve never loved anyone so wholeheartedly, but I can see that when her mind wanders to Nick, she’s miserable. I can’t imagine loving someone so much that you feel lost and incomplete without them. I thought I loved Steven in the beginning of our relationship, but it never crippled me when we weren’t together.

Each evening I go to work. I’ve become more comfortable with my surroundings while at Jaxon’s. There have been instances where a man will flirt with me, and I’ll stiffen, but Mia, Andrew, or Jaxon are always there. I know most of the men are harmless, but I still can’t help the natural reactions telling me to cringe. When the regulars do the flirting, it doesn’t bother me as much, but when it’s someone I’ve never met before, I become uncomfortable. It’s been ingrained in me since childhood. I’m getting better, but I’ve still got a long way to go. Luckily, there have been no more Shady incidents.

Mia is still quiet and reserved, but she’s started opening up to me more. I can tell there’s a story behind her reserve. Something happened to her as well.

Andrew is the life of the bar. He’s absolutely hilarious, and I love to see him shamelessly flirting with Jaxon. Jaxon doesn’t seem to mind. He’s confident in himself and his sexuality. It’s funny to watch when Jaxon gives Andrew a little run for his money and flirts back. Andrew knows that Jaxon is as straight as an arrow and nothing will ever come of it. Andrew likes to act like it’s all fun and games when Jaxon shuts him down, but I know it’s an act. Andrew secretly loves Jaxon. I see it when he looks at him when he thinks no one’s watching. Andrew has actually confided in me about his feelings. It’s unrequited love, but he’s not hurt by it. He just knows that’s how it’s supposed to be.

I’m growing to love being in the bar. For the most part, everyone is very nice. The town and its inhabitants are growing on me, and I’m becoming attached, something I never thought would happen. I really enjoy seeing everyone interact with each other. The people of Jaded Hollow act as though they are one big happy family. It’s amazing to witness.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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