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“On the fourth day in the hospital my friend Chris was able to sneak in while Steven was away. I never admitted it to her, but she knew for a while what was going on. She knew I was too scared to get help and she couldn’t prove anything, especially against someone with Steven’s influence. Steven had threatened to harm Chris if I ever told her, so I had to protect her as well.
“Anyway, the day she came to visit she threw a bunch of cash at me and said I had to leave. She said that if I didn’t then she was going to the police. I refused at first, but I knew I had no other choice. I knew Steven would eventually kill me if I didn’t leave. I signed myself out of the hospital a day before I was supposed to. Steven had a meeting so I knew he wouldn’t be home. Both Chris and I went to our house and gathered just a few of my things, things that were important to me. I took not one thing that Steven had bought me. After, she took me to a car lot and I bought a cheap car. A couple towns over I bought a disposable cell phone so I could keep in touch with Chris, to let her know where I was and how I was doing.
“A couple weeks after I left, Steven caught up with me. I don’t know how he found me, but he did. He was so angry. We stayed in a cheap hotel. That night, after repeatedly hitting me until I passed out, I woke up to him raping me. Afterwards, he left to go to the store across the street. He must have thought I was so weak that I couldn’t move. He underestimated my resolve to get away from him. I snuck out of the bathroom window and hitched a ride with a trucker who was on his way out of town. Morning time came and the trucker dropped me off in a little town in West Virginia, where I bought another cheap car. I haven’t stopped since, except to sleep.”
By this time, Mia is sitting on the opposite side of me from Jaxon. She takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. Jaxon is still sitting beside me staring at the floor. Even though it scares me to think what must be going on in his head, I wish he would look at me. It’s killing me not knowing what he thinks.
“Where in the fuck were your parents this whole time?” Mia asks me.
I give a harsh laugh and answer her question. “Probably in the same place I left them when I turned seventeen, sleeping off their drunken high with multiple partners in bed with them. They weren’t the best of parents by any means. They liked to throw parties where they and their friends would get high on whatever drugs they could find. Once the party really got started their friends would drag me into the midst of it and have fun with me. My parents would look on and watch with expressionless eyes, or get off on the abuse that they witnessed.”
“Son of a bitch!” Nick storms and rakes his fingers through his hair. “You had no one you could go to?”
I shake my head slowly. “No, neither of my parents had siblings and both sets of grandparents were already dead.”
I turn to Jaxon and see that he has his head in his hands. They are clenching his hair so tightly that his knuckles are white. I hesitantly reach out and place my hand on his back.
“Jaxon,” I whisper.
My touch and whisper must have set him off. He jerks away from me and flings his body off the couch so fast, I feel the wind from the movement. I flinch away, but he doesn’t seem to notice. He’s in his own world of pain right now.
Jaxon stalks over to his desk and grabs the lamp that’s sitting on top. He rears back and throws it hard against the wall, completely shattering it. Mia and I both jump at the loud noise. He then picks up a small wooden chair and smashes it against the desk. After that, he moves over to the wall that he threw the lamp at and starts throwing punch after punch against it. With each punch he throws he screams in rage.
I know the anger he’s feeling isn’t directed toward me, but the fear I feel is just the same. His hands are bloody from punching the wall and all I want to do is comfort him. I’m terrified to get up though. Terrified to go to him.
I bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. Big teardrops drip down my face. I don’t necessarily fear Jaxon, but I’m still in protective mode in the wake of his temper. I shouldn’t have told him, but I needed him to understand.
I watch as Nick cautiously walks up to Jaxon and places a hand on his shoulder. “Jax, calm down man.” Jaxon immediately turns around at the touch and clocks him in the chin. Nick stumbles backward.
“Fuck, Jaxon, I’m not the enemy here! Save it for the bastard who’s done this to her!”
“Just stay the fuck away from me, Nick! I can’t—fuck!” Jaxon growls and turns back to the wall and smashes his fist against it again.
Mia jumps up from beside me with her hands balled into fists. She’s shaking as well. She screams at Jaxon. “Jaxon Walker, you need to get it under control! Look!” she says, pointing at me. “Look at Bailey! Look how fucking terrified she is right now! You want that? You want her to be scared of you as well?”
Her words must have penetrated the uncontrollable rage that is filtering through him. He bends at the waist and places his hands on his knees. There’s blood dripping off his torn knuckles. I hear him taking in several deep breaths. Once his breathing is somewhat under control, he lifts his head and zeroes his eyes on me. After straightening up, he takes a cautious step toward me, like he’s scared I may run away.
“Angel…,” he says but doesn’t finish when he sees his bloody knuckles. Reaching over and opening one of his desk drawers he pulls out a rag. After quickly wiping his hands to clear off most of the blood, he drops it into the trash can. He doesn’t take his eyes off me the entire time.
All I can focus on is his hands as he makes his way slowly toward me. I don’t like to see his hands torn and shredded. His hands have been nothing but kind and gentle with me. Now, they look like they’ve been through the grinder.
When he gets to me, he drops down to his knees and his chest meets my drawn-up legs. He places his hands on either side of my hips. My eyes are still following the movements of his hands.
“Bailey, look at me, please,” he says quietly.
I reach over and tenderly pick up one of his hands. My crying has quieted down, but when I bring my eyes to his, more tears silently trail down my face.
“Your hands, Jaxon,” I whisper to him.
“They’re okay. I’m okay. I’m so sorry I scared you. You know I would never hurt you, right?”
I nod because I know deep down that Jaxon would never hurt me. The pain and heartache on his face when he realized his reaction scared me solidifies my belief. Jaxon is a protector, and even though he didn’t know me at the time he feels like he didn’t protect me when I needed someone the most.
“I know you would never hurt me. I wasn’t frightened because I thought you would. I was worried about you. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before. I didn’t because there’s nothing you or anyone can do. He has too much power. He knows people who can hurt other people. I don’t want that for you. I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you. A while back, when you called and I was freaked out, he called me that night. And tonight, I got another phone call. It was a recording of us reciting our vows. He said he was coming for me. I saw him tonight in the bar as well.” My eyes are pleading with him to understand.
Jaxon looks to Nick. “Nick—” He starts but doesn’t get a chance to finish before he’s interrupted.
“On it,” Nick says, before disappearing out the door.
